Can you be friends with cheaters?

I haven't been in this situation, but I don't know if I could. I'd always wonder if the cheater was interested in my husband. And while I do trust him not to cheat on me, the blatant disrespect of the cheater for relationships would pizz me off.

Re: Can you be friends with cheaters?

no, I couldn't!

Re: Can you be friends with cheaters?

Nope. I don't think I'd trust them.

Sort of related, my dad cheated on my mom with a woman who was cheating on her husband. They ended up getting married, and now 15 years later she's leaving him b/c she's cheating on him and wants to be with the other guy.

Re: Can you be friends with cheaters?

i have to say no, too. and yes, i would trust fh not to cheat, you cannot control the cheater to be's actions and that would scare me

Re: Can you be friends with cheaters?

no, not because of the trust issue, but solely because I could never respect her.

Re: Can you be friends with cheaters?

Yes ... i may not agree with what he/she does but I would still be-friend her/him ... and as far as my SO being a target for her to go after Can't see that happening he isn't her type !

Re: Can you be friends with cheaters?

probably....I think people can change and should never be held in a bad light for one mistake, if its considered a mistake. If its some blatant, disregard for people that caused the cheating, well I wouldnt be friends with that type of person ever to begin with.

Re: Can you be friends with cheaters?

Yes I can. A friend is a friend no matter what. She may not make the right choices but if she is my true friend then I can get over it.
Obviously if she cheated with my SO, that would be another story, but that's not what we're talking about.

Re: Can you be friends with cheaters?

i would have a very hard time not saying how i felt AND knowing what i know and feeling bad for the SO being cheated on...

I have had problems being friends with this kind of person.

Re: Can you be friends with cheaters?

If I was friends with the couple & knew one was cheating on the other, it would be difficult for me to keep up the facade. In the end, I'm not married to the other person, so who am I to judge? No one knows what goes on within a marriage/relationship except the people in it.

Also I believe there are 2 types of cheaters - serial cheaters who just can't be monogamous (ie my old boyfriend from college-great guy, lousy boyfriend) and those who cheat for a reason (whatever that reason may be...loss of affection, insecurities, etc.)

If I thought my friend would have lack of respect for me & MY relationship by being interested in my DH/SO other than friendship than no, why would anyone be friends with someone like that?

Re: Can you be friends with cheaters?

When I was younger - around 19-20, my friend was having an affair with a much older married guy - he was around 40 I think. I felt so bad for this guys wife I called her and told her when she could find her husband.

Maybe it wasnt right to do that to my friend but I asked her tons of times to leave him, stop seeing him, he had a wife a 2 little babies at home.

And I just cannot stand cheaters - so after that we didn't talk anymore, she suspected me and I just didnt deny it.

Re: Can you be friends with cheaters?

I think there's a difference between someone who cheated on a boyfriend once and regretted it and someone who continues an affair. I could be friends with a one-time cheater, but I don't think I could respect or be friends with someone who continued cheating on a significant other, especially if they were married. The lack of respect for the relationship would really bother me. Of course if this was a good friend, I don't think I could end our friendship simply b/c she chose a path in her personal life that I don't agree with.

Re: Can you be friends with cheaters?

I don't think I could. Just knowing that one of my DH's best friends cheated on his girlfriend (now his wife) bothers me! Thank goodness we don't see them often.

Re: Can you be friends with cheaters?

I don't think so. I would have no respect for them as a person.

Re: Can you be friends with cheaters?

It depends who the person is. Honestly, I don't know of any cheaters that I know, so I don't think I can accurately answer this question. Like, if I found out my best friend was cheating on his girl friend, I don't think I would even want to know. It's not my business what he does. To each their own. I don't agree with it, and I don't want to know about it.

Re: Can you be friends with cheaters?

Re: Can you be friends with cheaters?

I have a friend that has cheated on his GF. It really bothered me. As far as I know it was a couple of 1 night stands. I considered telling her, but I couldn't. If it was an on going affair, I think I would have been more likely to say something.

I did tell him how I felt about it though.

His is still with her, they may get married soon, & I think the cheating stopped years ago.

I have another freind that had 2 serious relationships goign on at the same time & I am still freinds with him, but we were all distant from him during that time & I don't think we have been as close sicne.

Message edited 11/21/2005 4:56:30 PM.

Re: Can you be friends with cheaters?

Re: Can you be friends with cheaters?

No I have no respect for cheaters

Re: Can you be friends with cheaters?

I actually have a friend who's been seeing a married guy for a while. She knows I don't approve and have tried on many occasions to convince her to call it off. But it an honesty, although I don't respect her decisions she has always been a good friend to me and that's all that counts in my book.

Re: Can you be friends with cheaters?

Re: Can you be friends with cheaters?

I would have a hard time with this. It has nothing to do with worrying about them near my hubby or whatever. I just have a hard time with people who have such different values from mine and who would do someting so obviously hurtful

Re: Can you be friends with cheaters?

It depends on how good of a friend they are and if happens on a regular basis or not. One of my best friends cheated on her DH once and even though what she did is totally against everything I believe and I was disappointed in her, we have been friends for 25 years and something that is really none of my business in the first place, can't change that.