Can you help? My 2 year old DD is out. of. control!

So, as you probably know...I have two girls: one is 3.5 and the other is 2. At least 50% of the time their relationship is a nightmare.

The older one (Katherine) is very sensitive and "girly" and the younger one (Abby) is rambunctious, physical and well, violent frequently. I don't know if she means harm, really, but she is certainly causing it!

While Kate is watching TV or reading or whatever, Abby will JUMP right on top of her--you know, knee in the stomach type stuff. She'll also randomly hit her, bite her (not that frequently), pull her hair and other assorted behaviour. She's like a professional wrestler...seriously. Katherine screams and squeals constantly thoughout the day. The result of all this? I'm becoming an alcoholic. Only kidding...for now...

So, I've done the "time-out" thing...she laughs. I've yelled at her...she laughs. I've gotten a bit physical (nothing hurting her necessaily, but you know, roughly pulling her off Kate to send a message. Although maybe that's contrary to the point here)...she laughs. After doing something violent, she'll say, "Time out now?" So I think she LIKES it or something...so I use that verrrrry sparingly. My pediatrician suggested lavishing attention on the "victim," in this case, Katherine. That doesn't seem to work either.

So short of locking her alone in a room, what should I do????

HELLLPPPP!!!!

Re: Can you help? My 2 year old DD is out. of. control!

i have an 8yo DD and a 23month old boy- so there is much more of an age difference. But my 23 month old will act out sometimes, just as you say your DD does. he jumps on his sister,pulls her hair, bites, anything for her attention. i've realized thats when it happens most, when DD is keeping to herslef or doing homework, something that doesnt involve DS- he gets silly. My honest answer is, i told her its ok to hit back. The time outs didnt work, so i told her to remember that she is much bigger, but its ok to hit back or give a push if he is jumping on her. i have to tell you, it works. sometimes it ends in temporary tears, but he learns his lesson. Their 40 seconds of fighting usually turns into playing and they work it out themselves.
After a "battle" i make sure they both appologize.

Re: Can you help? My 2 year old DD is out. of. control!

i had the two two year olds here.

a lot of the time what worked was pinning them against each other,

I wasn't scared of giving one a special treat for being good and telling the other to work harder tomorrow...when they were little stickers worked...then it turned to extra strawberries.

once I just left josh home with leo while I took other kid to park. i felt so bad doing it, but he was great for the rest of the week.

Re: Can you help? My 2 year old DD is out. of. control!

The thing that works best for us, and is the most effective, is to immedately take something away that is special to Alex. Every kid is different, but Alex's favorite part of the day is when I sit with her in bed at night, and read 5 books that she chooses out of her bookcase.

If she's being bad, I give her one warning that she is having a book removed. If her behavior is egregious enough, like hitting the dog, I won't even give her a warning, and will tell her that she's not getting any books that night. THAT makes a tremendous impact on her.

So, if she has a special toy, a special part of her routine, I would use that as blackmail. The absolute KEY though is to follow-through and remove the item a few times so she fully understands that there is a direct consequence to her behavior, not just a threat.

Re: Can you help? My 2 year old DD is out. of. control!

Thank you so much! As much as you think you've tried it all, you realize there are even MORE options. Today went smoothly since Katherine was out of the house. But if things flare up tomorrow, I'm going to try some of these tricks!

Thanks again!!

Re: Can you help? My 2 year old DD is out. of. control!

I would try taking away her favorite toy.

Re: Can you help? My 2 year old DD is out. of. control!

I am sorry you are having issues - I have to laugh b/c my sister is an Abbey and she acted the same way (maybe less violent) as your Abby.

My mom used to tell me to hit her back, until I finally did one day, she didn't stop.

My sister is still very high-energy.

I only have 1 child so I don't have any tips, except that Vodka is on sale at Tag Liquor in Holbrook.

Re: Can you help? My 2 year old DD is out. of. control!

Im going through this right now - my girls are also 20 months apart - 3.5 and 19 months and its the older one that terrorizes the little one! Its completely frustrating at times - my youngest can't catch a break - her oldest sister is into everything she wants or touches so some days are real fun to say the least!

Really i do time outs with both my girls (even the youngest will sit on the step for a minute or so if she is acting up), or alittle slap on the butt will let them know i mean business.
Thats just me though.