Catholic girls

Something that has been on my mind the past 2 weeks...since I went to the St.Gerard celabration.

One of the priests there distinctly said "those of you who are doing IVF, please know that it is WRONG". Half the girls at the mass kind of looked around sheepishly...including myself.

My mom and sister were with me and afterwards we were talking about it..how we feel that my DH and I are a loving , married couple who want to be parents...at this point in time IVF is our only option...yes, we are trying to create a child scientifically but in my heart, it is still made out of love...

It hurts me to think that my faith believes this is wrong. I pray to St.Gerard, St. Anne etc and God every day to bless us with a child...

Does this mean that when my prayers get up there they are ignored because I am not conceiving the traditional way? I do not believe that God never meant for me to have children..

Your thoughts?

Re: Catholic girls

I was raised a catholic but attend a christian fellowship w/ my DH. I never had strong catholic views, because my beliefs and the traditional catholic beliefs were very different.
I don't pray to saints (don't have a problem w/ anyone who does though)- I pray right to the source. That being said, I believe that God has brought me to where I'm at... and if he put the desire to be a mom in my heart (which he clearly did) then he will honor that... eventually, and in what way,I don't know. I think the priest was very wrong in verbalizing that, but know that's traditional catholic views (more old school). HTH!

Re: Catholic girls

You know I am a pretty devout Catholic was raised by a very devout Catholic mom who is pushing me to do get pregnant by whatever means necessary. I think that is absolutely awful for a priest to get up there and preach that. Sanctity of life is one thing BUT we are trying to bring life into this world and if that means through artificial means so be it! And the Catholic church wonders why the younger generation is driven away by them!

Re: Catholic girls

Re: Catholic girls

I personally beleive that God gave us scientists and Drs. to perform IVF so that there was another way to concieve.
It's just my opinion and I am a very devout Catholic, but I also don't think the Church is perfect.
There are a few things wrong with what the Church teaches or has taught - men are not perfect.
I take what I can from the religion itself as that is what I beleive in....some of the rules of the Church are not in the Bible.

Re: Catholic girls

Posted by Donna

Posted by CaseyGirl

It hurts me to think that my faith believes this is wrong. I pray to St.Gerard, St. Anne etc and God every day to bless us with a child...

Does this mean that when my prayers get up there they are ignored because I am not conceiving the traditional way? I do not believe that God never meant for me to have children..

Your thoughts?

I view IVF like the other things I have done that "go against" the Church - Premarital sex, using birth control (if I knew then what I know now...), etc

I believe God is very loving and doesn't judge me or any of us for the choices I /we have made.

Re: Catholic girls

Re: Catholic girls

That's wierd i am extremely good good friends.. I am talking very close friends with a catholic priest.. His name is Father Michael Aggerey.. He is at Our Lady of Lords in Malverne.. He lives in Ghanna and comes every year from June - September.. I talk to him on the phone from Ghanna and I e mail him very very often.. He has done nothing but supported me prayed for me and encouraged me through out this whole process.. If you want to FM me I will give you his e mail address and you can telll him you are a friend of mine and ask him what that is all about.. He made me drink holy water right out of the tank and rub it on my stomach.. he also made Dh drink a whole glass.. he has never said one thing to me about this being wrong ever..

Re: Catholic girls

Re: Catholic girls

I am also Catholic and had a conversation with a priest about this very thing three weeks ago. We were at BIL's house for Sunday dinner with the priest that married he and SIL.

I have heard that the church "frowns upon" seeking medical treatment for infertility and I asked him about this. He said that "It is much more than frowned upon and that the church is strongly opposed to it."

I agree with PP who said that God gave us the doctors, scientists and medicines. Moreover, he gave us brains and freewill so we can figure out what is right for each one of us.

I wear my St. Gerard medal, I pray and I believe He hears me.

Re: Catholic girls

I have a very good friend who is a priest. He baptized the babies. He knew everything I went through to have them and when I asked him if what I was doing was sinful, his response was "It is not a sin to want a child to love, to bring a child who is so wanted into this world is a blessing to the family" I will never forget these words!

Some priests are just fuddy duddies!

Re: Catholic girls

My priest kind of told me that they are two separate things. And God gave the doctors their medical ways of doing things, but at the end of the day, God gives you a child. Case closed. So you can do all the IVF/IUI you want. If God has meant for you to get pregnant, you will, by whatever means necessary.

Re: Catholic girls

I am neither Catholic nor religious, and for reasons similar to your post. However, I do believe that if there is a god who created man, then part of this creation was the mind. Without the mind and the ability to analyze, dream, and discover, IVF would be impossible. So, while it is not directly related to the BD of the Adam and Eve days, it is no doubt a manifestation of the very creation of man. IVF then, is a natural process and NOT artificial. Would your priest reject a lifesaving triple bypass surgery because "god" intended for him to die instead? Science is born from the wonders of man. If God created man, then he/she also created our ability to wonder....and what good is wonder if it stays only in the mind. It's meant for the benefit of a soul, of a heart, of a marriage, a family, a neighborhood, a society, a generation, etc.... I say, go on and pursue your dreams. You only have one shot on earth...do you really believe that there is a 'god' out there who will scorn you for wanting to devote a lifetime of love and care to another human being? If you do, then I'm scared of your 'god'. Good Luck in whatever you choose.

Re: Catholic girls

I think that priest is doing a huge dissesrvice to his congregation. This is why people run from the Catholic Church. Thankfully, my priest in Center Moriches is very understanding and comforting regarding my losses and IF issues, much like some of pp's priests.

If you and DH have so much love in you to have a child, go to through what we go through to have that child, because it's not easy, you deserve it, however the means may be.

I believe that God is more loving and understanding than some priests.

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I have heard in the past that the Catholic Church does frown upon IVF but for DH & I, we are not letting that change our views. We both come from Catholic upbringings & my MIL is a devout Catholic. She has been behind us 110% & never questioned our decision, if anything, she encouraged them.

For DH & I, we believe that we have so much love to give a child, that no matter how we get there, we are following our Catholic beliefs of creating a new life. I feel like others have said, if God has given me the yearn to want to be a mother, then I will have a child. If it is not meant to be, God will let me know in one way or another.

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I have found that ALL priests have different school of thoughts. Lately, I found the one's I have met are okay with IVF.

Also, I totally agree 100% with Gerty's post.

Re: Catholic girls

I believe in God, I believe in Jesus and I do not believe I am going to hell or did any wrong by doing IVF.


now..my opinion. You can look at it like this. God helps those that help themselves. Sometimes certain people have to fight for what they want.
It won't always happen but I feel you have to fight.
I 100000000000% think God will hold no grudge against anyone bringing precious child into the world.
Sad as it is...children are abused every day..IVF babies are verrrrrrrry much wanted babies..what is wrong with that?
I know alot of them doo not believe in the left over eggs being used for research but as far as IVF...dk and do not care.
Noone knows for sure who is right in their religon, who is wrong.
I feel if you are a good person-love God with your entire being then we all get to where we have to go.

Re: Catholic girls

Re: Catholic girls

I am catholic and unfortunatly there are many things i just dont agree with the religion. I guess u can call me a liberal catholic. God put this desire in our hearts. We answer to him. Yes i know priests are Gods representatives on earth, but why are there so many different views on priests? Some say its ok, while others say its a grave sin.
I went to catholic school for my elementry and high school years and i remember a sister who once told me if you do something that is a sin against the church the hardest person to forgive is yourself. If you feel in your heart its not a sin then God is on your side. (im not talking about stealing or anything like that) we were actually discussing birthcontrol. If you can have a clear concience after forgiving yourself, God has forgiven you as well.

So in my 2 cents i will say, God put the desire of becoming a mother in our hearts. DO you feel its a sin to have a child in a scientific way? If you can answer no, then there is no one harder to face up to than yourself and God.

Just remember God is on your side.

Re: Catholic girls

I think of it this way:

People bring children into this world all the time the "natural" way and abuse them, neglect them and don't appreciate or love them. How could God be against a loving couple going through any means necessary to bring life into this world? I like to think that the God I believe in doesn't think IVF is wrong or immoral etc...I think it shows just how much a couple respects and wishes for new life to begin.

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I hope I am not intruding, but this topic is something very close to me. My mother is the most devout Catholic I know, she was going to be a nun if she had not married, and I am a proud product of fertility treatments. I too am a devout Catholic, and truly love my religion. No religion is perfect, and although a priest is suppose to represent God on earth, he too is man, and therefor not perfect. I think this is an important aspect to remember. Religion, all religions, are created by man, and therefor have faults.

I spoke to a priest about this very topic, and he told me that the reason why so many priests and people of the Christian faith look down on IVF, is not because it is modern medicine getting you pregnant, because if God does not want you to conceive then there is no procedure in the world that will make it happen, but because of what some people choose to do with the remaining fertilized eggs. Because we as Catholics believe that life begins at the moment of conception, each embryo is life. If you discard of these fertilized eggs, THAT is what they frown on. If they are used then there is nothing wrong with IVF.

And it is not just the Catholic faith that frown on IVF. Most other Christian faiths do as well. I actually got into a HUGE argument with a Christian friend of mine (not Catholic) about this very topic.

I wish you all the luck and prayers on your journey!

Re: Catholic girls

Hearing things like this just makes me very sad. I am not too religious, but I know in my heart that there is a path/journey and a reason for everything. Some people just have to take a different way when having a baby.

Re: Catholic girls

Posted by hopeandfaith75

You know I am a pretty devout Catholic was raised by a very devout Catholic mom who is pushing me to do get pregnant by whatever means necessary. I think that is absolutely awful for a priest to get up there and preach that. Sanctity of life is one thing BUT we are trying to bring life into this world and if that means through artificial means so be it! And the Catholic church wonders why the younger generation is driven away by them!

Re: Catholic girls

DH and I were both raised Catholic and we attend church every Sunday. This doesn't mean I agree with everything the church says. I personally believe like others have said that God created the ability to have a baby through IF treatments and it is no different than medical procedures that save lives.
I think some priests are proabably just very old school.