HeathKernandez
Our Ron is an awesome Ron
Member since 4/07 9091 total posts
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baby fish mouth
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Celebrity Crush Spinoff -- the motherload
Ok, so the other day's 'Celebrity Crushes' threa reminded me of something I wrote for a blog a couple of years ago... thought I would share:
(please excuse all the grammtical errors, it was difficult to copy and paste with html involved and a lot got lost, i dont have the patience to 'edit)
I've decided to take a little trip back into my past & relive some of my more bizarre celebrity crushes. To be honest all of my crushes were pretty strange, and they sure are something to laugh at now... almost as funny as what I looked like in the late 1980s for those of you who HAVE seen the picture.
Let's have a little laugh at Caz's expense, shall we?
ahhhh Michael Knight.
Knight Rider was on every Thursday evening & my sister and I were given a deal. Either we could watch one TV program past our bedtime during the week. OR we can watch cartoons all day Saturday and for those of you that remember what TV was like when I was a kid (*gasp! dial televisions!) before cable & the cartoon network, Saturday morning cartoons were a pretty big ******* deal. My sister, being much stronger & meaner than I was always won the Thursday night/ Saturday morning television debate.. but on those rare occasions I did get to watch my Michael & K.I.T.T, rest assured I was a happy pre-teen.
Yes, I had a HUUUUUUUUUUGE crush on Ponyboy. I can remember the first time I rented The Outsiders. My sister was reading the book & wanted to see the movie so we ran across the street to [b]Get with it! Video[/b] in Valley Stream and grabbed the stores ONLY copy. Haha- anyone remember video stores in those days? I always wanted to know what was behind that 'over 21' curtain. We started watching the movie late on a Sunday afternoon, and were INTERUPPTED by my mom because we had to go to church. I remember being to ******* ****** & all I thought about through mass was my white haired pony boy. He & johnny had JUST run away when we had to pause the movie... and my heart [e-tear] My sister had a crush on Ralph Macchio at the time.. You remember, he was 35 when he did the outsiders.
These were days WAY before the internet, so the only outlet for my C Thomas Howell fetish were Teen Magazines. And plenty of them. Teen Beat, Tiger Beat, Bop, The big bopper... When I would stay with my uncle in Greenwich Village, I would wait for him to go out & then sneak out of his apartment & hit the magazine stands. Never mind cruising up & down Christopher street ogling the transvestites, there were hard to get magazines downtown! In the magazines, they had an order form for 8 X 10 photos & I remember BEEEEEEEEEEEGGING my mother to write me a check so I could buy 2 C. Thomas Howel pictures for my room. She caved & by the time they were mailed to me, my crush was over. It did last until SOUL MAN so I was pretty loyal.. By the way, Red Dawn was an excellent flick.
Who remembers this hot hunk of burning love? Yup that's right. I had little David Witherspoon up on my locker door in Junior High School. I think I was the ONLY one in America to.. and yes. I watched Our House in the late eighties.. I was in 6th grade for God's Sake! You have to admit.
Wilfred Brimley = GOOD TELEVISION.
(diabetes!)
Little side note for the fellow nerds on my friends list..Our House is returning to TV again! Weekends only on TLC, starting May 21, episodes of Our House will start showing. Oh yes, busting out the old VHS recorder for THIS one.
My love for Chad blossomed through that confusing decade & he showed up on another one of my favorite tv shows:
This time as Zach Nichols, Giovanni Ribisi's nemesis on the show. And while I'm on the subject of My 2 Dads. A few observations if you will:
Should they title a show with that name NOWADAYS, I assure you, the premise would be much different. The premise of the show:
When Marcy Bradford dies, she leaves her teen-age daughter Nicole in the custody of a father she has never met; or rather, two fathers - Michael, a straight and formal man; and Joey, a wild artist. Both were Marcy's former boyfriends, and together, they provide a unique balance of parenting skills for young Nicole.
Ok-- So basically Marcy Bradford was a whore and couldn't figure out who little unwanted Nicole's father was.. Who's to say she didn't have a few extra boyfriends thrown into the mix? I mean these two were so incredibly different... Obviously "Marcy" didn't have one true preference, right? And what kind of mother would leave her teenage daughter with men the daughter never met? Doesn't she have ANY ALTERNATIVE person? A Grandmother perhaps? A long lost sister? AND WHERE WERE ALL THE BLACK PEOPLE? I mean, this show took place in New York City... i KNOW we had black people in the eighties. I don't know about 'michael' and 'joey,' but I would be SCREAMING Paternity test! Where was Maury Povich when you needed him in the late eighties? Funny how little "Nicole" fell into her mother's footsteps with my Chad & Giovanni's characters. slut.
I know [my Chad] was on Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman for many years but by then, I had deserted him & moved onto bigger & better things.
Boy Bands..(see below)
I looked up my dear Chad recently & found out he's gay. Funny how he was my most predominant CRUSH. *******! He showed up on an episode of Cold Case recently & I swear my little 12 year old heart started to flutter some, even though he could stand to gain a few pounds.
I'm sorry for leaving you Chad. I would have been the BEST f*g h*g...
Ah yes. There is no way you can escape living in the suburbs of New York City around 1987 & escape being a New Kids on the Block fan. Anyone who says they weren't were either one of the dirt bags who listened to the Cure, or lying & secretly had their favorite New Kid. Mine was Joey. I remember when I first became obsessed with the group. My older and COOLER sister invited me to a Halloween party at one of her girlfriend's houses & one of them had a tape. (yes-- a TAPE.) We watched the Please Don't go Girl Video and I was hooked. That obsession was a little scary because not only did I go to so many concerts I lost count.. (Hey Paige! Kinda like how i lost count with the number of guys I've slept with [sn0rt]) I waited on countless lines for tickets (YES, waited in LINE... ) but.. I actually got to MEET him a couple of times. The first was when my overly developed friend Anne Marie Russo and I snuck into the back entrance of a venue and flirted with one of the roadies to letting us backstage. It was a project too. There was a boat show going on in the same coliseum so we had to first attend that. (why, i do not know) but eventually, there I was... Backstage right next to an open door where the OPENING band at the time Sweet Sensation was performing. (i KNOW half of you just went ooooooooooooooooooh! to that name drop.. come on mike sing it with me "I'm hooked on you.... Woooooooooooah woooooooooooah woooooooooooah woooooooooah") **** you guys, freestyle was hot. Anyway, I'm standing there, just star struck when all of a sudden he comes out. I just froze. I didn't even smile that cheesy 'OMG! its my favorite New kid' smile. I just froze & stared. Some little boys got all excited & shrieked for autographs in front of me. This made Joey laugh & he looked up at me & said 'I'll come & talk to you in a few minutes'
What,... me? WAS HE TALKING TO ME?! The overly-developed Anne Marie wasn't anywhere to be found so he HAD to be talking to me. He then looked up & smiled at me again, gestured with his finger to wait a minute, retreated to the back room and never returned. By that time, we were asked to leave b/c they were about to go on.
DAMMIT.
The next time I [i]saw[/i] him, my overly-zealous friends & I had snuck into a hotel they were staying at in Jersey. I have a picture of me & Donnie Wahlberg SOMEWHERE in my printed photo archives.. I also hung out with a skinner and much less popular Marky Mark WAAAAAAAAAAy before he started his little Funky Bunch.
A few years ago, good ol' Joey Mac showed up on Boston public, which was a surprise to me as I actually WATCHED the show every week. During his run on the show, the show mysteriously disappeared. go figure.
Shortly after my love for NKOTB I grew a pair of boobs & discovered drugs.
So there you go folks. a brief history of my lustful past. I will now be open for questions and WILL stand on stage for a short while for all of you to laugh and throw eggs at.
Message edited 2/4/2008 9:25:09 PM.
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