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maxsgirl
LIF Adult
Member since 1/06 2086 total posts
Name:
sarah
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Childfree- Job related
Do you think that you get treated differently at your job b/c your childfree, ie. Being asked to work longer hrs
I personally haven't experienced this, but I went on an interview the other day and the guy asked me if I was married or had children. Honestly, dont know what that had to do with the job (thought it was illegal to ask) as its a 9-5.
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Posted 2/11/10 8:41 AM  |
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baghag
:P
Member since 5/05 10278 total posts
Name:
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Re: Childfree- Job related
I haven't experienced it at my current job.
I thought it was illegal to ask about marital staus and children also. 
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| Posted 2/11/10 8:57 AM |
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Re: Childfree- Job related
Posted by maxsgirl
I personally haven't experienced this, but I went on an interview the other day and the guy asked me if I was married or had children. Honestly, dont know what that had to do with the job (thought it was illegal to ask) as its a 9-5.
Yeah, those are big no-no questions in an interview!! I'd look elsewhere if it's an option!
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| Posted 2/11/10 8:58 AM |
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MrsPJB2007
MBA at your service!
Member since 7/06 12020 total posts
Name:
MJ
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Re: Childfree- Job related
While it hasn't affected me at my job (work in a family busienss), I can definitely see how that happens a lot.
I know friends of mine who have had bosses act as if their time is not as valuable since they do not have children. Like working OT or having to come in on a day off is something is treated as if it's no big deal since well, you don't have kids.
While I understand that parents do have to juggle their schedule around for kids, it does not mean that a CF person's time is not as valued.
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| Posted 2/11/10 9:05 AM |
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maxsgirl
LIF Adult
Member since 1/06 2086 total posts
Name:
sarah
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Re: Childfree- Job related
Posted by BaseballWidow
Yeah, those are big no-no questions in an interview!! I'd look elsewhere if it's an option!
lol definitely not a contender as a new job. Guy was a d- bag and very shady when I asked questions regarding the job.
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| Posted 2/11/10 9:31 AM |
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Blazesyth
*yawn*
Member since 5/05 8129 total posts
Name:
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Re: Childfree- Job related
My old job was like this. It was 'OK' for me to work 30+ hours in a row while the people with kids were OK to go home after 12 hours.
ETA: I'm waiting for the comments about how people without kids should have been in the office yesterday. I know it's going to be mentioned. If they're smart, they won't say it to me directly otherwise they are going to get an earful.
Message edited 2/11/2010 9:46:23 AM.
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| Posted 2/11/10 9:43 AM |
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maxsgirl
LIF Adult
Member since 1/06 2086 total posts
Name:
sarah
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Re: Childfree- Job related
Posted by Blazesyth
ETA: I'm waiting for the comments about how people without kids should have been in the office yesterday. I know it's going to be mentioned. If they're smart, they won't say it to me directly otherwise they are going to get an earful.
Is this management making the comments? I would totally complain to HR, that is if you have a separate dept.
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| Posted 2/11/10 10:53 AM |
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KittyKatCopper
missing my handsome boy
Member since 3/09 1579 total posts
Name:
Kat - HamptonsBride (LIW)
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Re: Childfree- Job related
I was asked if i was married & had kids at my last job interview...made me laugh...especially when i said i wasn't having kids...of course it was men interviewing..but it's also in a male dominated profession...i am pretty sure they're not supposed to ask...don't see how it affects job performance unless you're calling out sick alot.
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| Posted 2/11/10 11:07 AM |
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Nifheim
allo
Member since 1/09 5476 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Childfree- Job related
i think parents are given a lot more flexibility then i do as CF individual. They are allowed to come in late, take late lunches or leave for childcare events (everyone has their kid in childcare at my job) they take off more often due to sick kids, snow, etc. Now today i came in late and i am not charging it against my hrs because i am on time every day this is the only way i can stay sane otherwise i know i will break and say something.
as far as job interviews they are not supposed to ask personal questions, but some places do especially to women. I understand they don't want to hire someone then have them pregnant with in a month then out on maternity. I think its rude to do this on PURPOSE but if it happens on accident there is nothing you can do.
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| Posted 2/11/10 11:32 AM |
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smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!
Member since 5/06 32461 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Childfree- Job related
Posted by Nifheim
i think parents are given a lot more flexibility then i do as CF individual. They are allowed to come in late, take late lunches or leave for childcare events (everyone has their kid in childcare at my job) they take off more often due to sick kids, snow, etc. Now today i came in late and i am not charging it against my hrs because i am on time every day this is the only way i can stay sane otherwise i know i will break and say something.
Parent crashing... Sorry!
But I feel the same about smokers. Taking gazillion breaks and never asked to make up time not worked.
This is MY experience when I was CF and now as a parent and having worked with Executives hiring.
1/ CF are seen as potential workers. Putting a lot of hours.
2/ But said employees referred above is also a potential breeder. Which mean she might get PG, take sick time, and have kids with school closings, sick kids, etc..
Oh it's highly illegal but that's reality.
As far as the comment on being more sympathetic to parents and taking time off. I never understood the arguments of mothers trying to put other down as an excuse why they are late/off, etc..
For example, I remember an article about mothers who would say as a way to justify their absences "well, I have kids, I am not selfish". "you would not understand, you don't have kids". Well, it fact it was a way to hide the amount of absences they had from their job. Plenty of mom make it on time. Yes, there will be times when a mom will have to get out of her job "now" because daycare is closing in 1 hour. But you will find irresponsible people all the time. The party guy who calls in sick on a monday after a night of partying. The single girl who cannot get her $hit together. Those are all people who just rely on others to do their job because they feel entitled.
It's nobody's fault that someone else has a sick child. It's not the fault of the parents and while co-workers can pitch in once in a while it's completely unfair to the other workers. I did not understand it when I was a CF, I still don't understand it as a parent. Things happen but your co-workers have lives too. They cannot be pitching in for me on a regular basis.
I loved when I was once told (I was married and CF) that I could come work on Saturday afternoon "anyway" because my EXDH was working those days and I did not have kids. As if I had NOTHING else to do with my life.
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| Posted 2/11/10 1:44 PM |
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Mushesgirl
Too blessed to be stressed
Member since 4/09 6691 total posts
Name:
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Re: Childfree- Job related
Last Monday I had to leave my job for a md appt that went 3 hours long b/c of the wait time. I went back to work and stayed later to make up the time, and no one gave me a hard time.
Why can't parents do this? Ok fine, you have to go b/c of whatever, but make it up! Why should you have a shorter work week than the CF person?
ITA with the pp about smokers as well. So to be fair to myself, I get up and go chit chat with co workers for 10 min every so often as my 'break'.
One phone interview I had once the guy asked if I was married. I was taken aback, not expecting that question (yes its illegal), and I answered yes. He didn't ask about kids tho. DH threw a fit when he found out about the question b/c he's a big union labor advocate with labor law etc. I did get that job but left 3 months later because the place was a disaster and so was that interviewer who was the administrator. Maybe that is the tipoff if they ask you something like that then they are ready to abuse their workers!!
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| Posted 2/11/10 2:00 PM |
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Nifheim
allo
Member since 1/09 5476 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Childfree- Job related
Posted by smdl
As far as the comment on being more sympathetic to parents and taking time off. I never understood the arguments of mothers trying to put other down as an excuse why they are late/off, etc..
But you will find irresponsible people all the time. The party guy who calls in sick on a monday after a night of partying. The single girl who cannot get her $hit together. Those are all people who just rely on others to do their job because they feel entitled.
Oh i completely agree when i was a young adult i called in sick at times from being hung over. But it kills me as adults that certain parents pull that parent card out way to many times especially at my job. Reason why i don't feel so bad jumping on here during the day. I come in early and sometimes i work through lunch to makeup the time i spend online. And the people who do it the most here seem to complain about their children the most. How they suck the life out of them, etc. Makes you wonder.
Also with comment on smokers - i agree that should be built in to a normal 15 min break for the day or taken away from your lunch. I was once a smoker and i only smoked on my designated break times.
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| Posted 2/11/10 2:22 PM |
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Mushesgirl
Too blessed to be stressed
Member since 4/09 6691 total posts
Name:
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Re: Childfree- Job related
I highly recommend
Baby Boon
fair warning, it got me very fired up
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| Posted 2/11/10 2:37 PM |
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Sherwood
LIF Adult
Member since 8/08 1643 total posts
Name:
s
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Re: Childfree- Job related
I've never been treated differently at any job because I dont have kids. I've certainly picked up the slack for people who have had to leave early or not come in at all due to some emergency with their child, but I understand that it happens sometimes. If the kid is sick, what are they supposed to do? And its nice to know that I would be granted the same priviledge if I ever needed it...not for a sick child obviously, but if an emergency ever came up.
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| Posted 2/11/10 3:51 PM |
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brownie
Baby #1 is here!
Member since 11/08 13903 total posts
Name:
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Re: Childfree- Job related
Posted by Sherwood
I've never been treated differently at any job because I dont have kids. I've certainly picked up the slack for people who have had to leave early or not come in at all due to some emergency with their child, but I understand that it happens sometimes. If the kid is sick, what are they supposed to do? And its nice to know that I would be granted the same priviledge if I ever needed it...not for a sick child obviously, but if an emergency ever came up.
ITA!
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| Posted 2/11/10 9:25 PM |
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dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Childfree- Job related
I'm crashing as a parent too. I have a job where we have a generous amount of time off, but no flex hours. you come in late, you have to take time, you can't stay late to make it up, children or not. I have very little time on the books at the present time because I usually have to use most of my time off for when my child is sick or for doctor appointments. I don't expect anyone to pick up my work if I am not in, it's all waiting for me when I return.
I chose to stay at the job I have, however, because of the amount of paid time I get off and the benefits. I never really understood why anyone should have to work 30+ hours in a row, whether they are parents or not. I realize some people have careers that require them to work a lot of hours, but I also think that's something they should factor in when they decided to have children. I don't think it's fair that those who don't have children get left holding the bag, but it's too bad that employers don't see that EVERYONE should be able to go home after a certain amount of time, or for family reasons, whether that family is spouse, children, parents, siblings, whatever. You shouldn't have to procreate just to enable you to have a life outside of work.
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| Posted 2/11/10 9:57 PM |
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timanda
Puppy Love
Member since 6/08 1627 total posts
Name:
Amanda
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Re: Childfree- Job related
Posted by dpli
You shouldn't have to procreate just to enable you to have a life outside of work.
I really like this sentence.
Re: the OP
Me personally - I honestly don't mind having to pick up the slack sometimes for those who have family issues. I remember being a child and getting sick a lot and my mother was constantly leaving her job early to pick me up from school, take me to the doctor, stay home for the day while I was sick, etc. I don't know how she did it, but her reasons were always legitimate and I hope none of her co-workers resented her. She is the hardest worker I've ever seen and if she wasn't at work she was taking care of her children. NEVER did she use her kids as a reason to slack off. So if someone in my office needs to take their kid to a doctors appt, I am willing to help out. Hopefully I am building up some goodwill for some time in the future when I need someone to pick up the slack for me - even if my reasons don't involve children.
My perspective is also different because I am still young, and the truth is, I don't have a whole lot of emergency situations popping up in my life that I don't have the option to plan for. If your kid comes down with the flu you probably had no warning.
Oh, and I wholeheartedly agree that there are PLENTY of parents who use their kids as an excuse to slack off and still get full credit. But there are plenty of slackers who don't have kids, so my respect for someone's work ethic is determined on an individual basis. And you can certainly tell when someone is being a devoted parent who just doesn't have enough hours in the day to balance the responsibilities at work and home, and when they are just being a lazy turd with no interest in actually working.
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| Posted 2/12/10 12:38 PM |
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LulaBell
:)
Member since 1/06 3508 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: Childfree- Job related
Crashing
I was childfree for 8.5 years at my current job. I was often expected to go above and beyond because I did not have kids. I had comments that were overt ("X can't do it because she has to be home with the children so it would help if you would") to the subtle, as in more difficult assignments than others without kids. I was insulted by it then, and still am now. I find that people love to justify their unfair behavior. Before I was married I heard how I didn't understand because I wasn't married. Same before I bought a house and before I had a child. I still don't agree with it even though I have a child. I don't expect to be treated any differently than people without children. I am paid well for what I do and feel I should live up to the same expectations as anyone else. That being said, I am in a child friendly career (teaching) and I still see people try to take advantage and use excuses to get out of extra work. P*sses me off.
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| Posted 2/12/10 9:37 PM |
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Bellaocchi
Hope Faith Love
Member since 2/07 5694 total posts
Name:
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Re: Childfree- Job related
As a matter of fact, I am now thinking back to this one co-worker who constantly makes comments to me regarding how I don't have any children, what do I do all the time when not at work.. like life must be so easy bc I am child free right now.. she makes her comments with such a sarcastic tone too. What an idiot!
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| Posted 2/13/10 1:09 AM |
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maxsgirl
LIF Adult
Member since 1/06 2086 total posts
Name:
sarah
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Re: Childfree- Job related
Posted by ToriaRae
like life must be so easy bc I am child free right now..
yea.... like you have no other responsibilities in your life, right?!?!?!
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| Posted 2/13/10 1:17 AM |
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mrsboss
my little love
Member since 12/09 5054 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Childfree- Job related
my current job isnt as bad as my last, but i do see some parents that frequently are at work less than those w/o kids, and my boss is ok with that. For instance, they come in late often, leave early, etc. My last job, i was single, and was made to work late on xmas eve 'since i had NOTHING to rush home to'.
eta: totally agree about the smokers.
Message edited 2/13/2010 8:01:53 AM.
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| Posted 2/13/10 7:57 AM |
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Re: Childfree- Job related
I believe that I was treated differently at a job when I was both single and unmarried but I think that the single thing was more the issue than me not having kids.
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| Posted 2/14/10 8:58 PM |
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MrsRbk
<3 <3 <3 <3
Member since 1/06 19197 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: Childfree- Job related
I remember years ago when I was working at a different company. I worked for a VP for a very long time, I was like his work wife... he couldn't do anything without me.
I used to come in at 7 and leave at 8pm. If I left at 6 he'd want to know why I was leaving early  This was before I was married.
One day as he was leaving for the day at 3:30... he said to me... "Michelle, I hope you never meet anyone, get married and have kids, otherwise I'm in BIG trouble"
He was lucky I liked him, otherwise I would have been on the phone with HR in a heartbeat!
I do find now that I have a kid, and I'm working, I don't get preferential treatment because I have a kid. In fact, even though I work PT, I find I'm in the office much more than my co-workers who are CF. Someone on my team ALWAYS has a reason why they need a day off or need to leave early.
Since I've been back at work, I've taken 2 days off because DD has been sick, and have left work early once because daycare called me to pick her up.
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| Posted 2/16/10 12:50 PM |
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KittyGags
LIF Adult
Member since 7/09 5614 total posts
Name:
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Re: Childfree- Job related
i work in an office where as long as you have a kid, you can come and go as you please. Yet I needed/wanted to leave early at 450 one day to make it to my nail place before they closed one day (I was leaving for vacation the next day at 7am for a wedding) and I got soooooooooo much ish about it it wasn't even funny. I had to pack still and worked late every other night that week to make it a non issue but it still was.
I call it the "kidscuse." All of our bosses/managers have kids so the people that don't (there are only 3 of us in my group) are expected to work all night long because we obviously have nothing to do.
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| Posted 3/6/10 9:40 PM |
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maxsgirl
LIF Adult
Member since 1/06 2086 total posts
Name:
sarah
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Re: Childfree- Job related
OK so I would just like to mention that I went to another interview with ANOTHER company and asked the same question.
This time it was with a woman, so I would like to think, she was just trying to make small talk, but I was still shocked.
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| Posted 3/6/10 9:59 PM |
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