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Choosing Godparents...

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preciouslove
I love my DS!!!

Member since 5/05

9340 total posts

Name:
Blank

Choosing Godparents...

DH and I have been discussing our choices and he wants to pick his Godson as our son's Godfather. But his Godson is 13 years old! I know that technically you can be a godparent as long as you have received baptism, communion and your confirmation. But isn't that a little too young??? I just feel like they are not mature enough to understand being a godparent s. DH is like "yeah but when our son is older his godfather will be only 13 years older and still young enough to play ball with him, etc." I am not crazy about the idea. He's a great kid but he's a little immature too, but that's because he's still a kid.

DH was like "but my brother choose his wife's 16 year old nephew as godfather to their third son"...So why do we have to do what others do??? We are starting to argue about this and I don't want it to stress me out!

What do you think ladies?

Posted 1/12/06 3:00 PM
 
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HalloweenBride04
LIF Toddler

Member since 5/05

498 total posts

Name:

Re: Choosing Godparents...

I personally think that 13 is young BUT my godmother, who is my 2nd cousin, was 13 at the time! I know that she and my mom had it out at some point because she wasn't "acting" like a godmother, in hindsight I think "DUH" she was only like 16 or 17 which is also young.

Posted 1/12/06 3:08 PM
 

Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn

Member since 5/05

27567 total posts

Name:
Janice

Re: Choosing Godparents...

I became a Godparent at 12. My brother became one at 11. My sister became one at 17. I think it is great honestly. I am all for it.

At this point I am 27, godson is 15. I see him in church serving every Sunday, go to his games, we have a very special connection. (He is also my brother)

My other brother, Reilly, became one at 11 to my sister. They have such a special relationship. They go to ballets and shows together.

My other sister, Coleen, is my little cousin's godmother. She goes to his house twice a week, goes on walks with him, reads to him...has a true love for him.

A lot of my aunts and uncles are each other's godparents too, I guess when you have a big family, it is more common.
I think I am going to do the same thing, mainly because if you pick someone young, they aren't married and don't have any kids. Your kid is going to be sooooo special to them.

Good luck whatever you chose!

Posted 1/12/06 3:08 PM
 

Ali1
Mommy

Member since 8/05

3116 total posts

Name:

Re: Choosing Godparents...

I find nothing wrong with it. My godmother was 13 when she became mine (she is my cousin) and we are very close. She has stood by me in all of my important religiious choices as well.

Posted 1/12/06 3:15 PM
 

KangaMom
...

Member since 1/06

4593 total posts

Name:

Re: Choosing Godparents...

We chose my sister and her DH (our BIL). Both devout Catholics we are close to and love Chat Icon I think it's ok to choose any age, it's just a personal preference.

My Godson (their son) recently made his confirmation and chose his 16 year old cousin to sponsor him so I just think it's a personal choice. Best of luck to you in whatever you decide Chat Icon

Message edited 1/12/2006 3:18:35 PM.

Posted 1/12/06 3:16 PM
 

preciouslove
I love my DS!!!

Member since 5/05

9340 total posts

Name:
Blank

Re: Choosing Godparents...

Nothing against his Godson. He's a great kid but i'm just not comfortable with the idea.

Does he have to be Godfather to our son in order to play sports with him. He can still do that with him.

Posted 1/12/06 3:21 PM
 

anon
where's winter?

Member since 11/05

2209 total posts

Name:

Re: Choosing Godparents...

will the godparents hold certain responsibilities or will it be more of a symbolic tradition?

we will ask my sister to be the godmother and along with that she will be responsible for raising the child should anything ever happen to the both of us. as far as the godfather goes, we haven't really decided yet!

Posted 1/12/06 5:45 PM
 

pharmcat2000
Mom of 2 + 1

Member since 10/05

7395 total posts

Name:
Catherine

Re: Choosing Godparents...

I personally think 13 is too young. I really think it should be somebody who knows who they are in life. At 13, he can't possibly know what direction his life will take, religiously, let alone be able to be there for another person. I know alot of people think of it as just an honor, and a title, but I think it should be a person who can help your child find their way -- not just play sports. I agree with you. DH's godson can still play baseball and do alot of other things with your child even if he isn't his godfather.

Posted 1/12/06 5:52 PM
 

LIMOMx2
...

Member since 5/05

24989 total posts

Name:

Re: Choosing Godparents...

IMO I think 13 is too young. My SIL picked her 14 yr old cousin (now 18) who is currently not involved with the family.

I am having a very hard time with this issue myself.Chat Icon

Posted 1/12/06 10:54 PM
 

steph4777
**************

Member since 5/05

11726 total posts

Name:
Stephanie

Re: Choosing Godparents...

I don't think it's too young. I became my brother's godmother at 10. Now, he's my son's godfather.

Posted 1/12/06 11:55 PM
 

preciouslove
I love my DS!!!

Member since 5/05

9340 total posts

Name:
Blank

Re: Choosing Godparents...

Posted by pharmcat2000

I personally think 13 is too young. I really think it should be somebody who knows who they are in life. At 13, he can't possibly know what direction his life will take, religiously, let alone be able to be there for another person. I know alot of people think of it as just an honor, and a title, but I think it should be a person who can help your child find their way -- not just play sports. I agree with you. DH's godson can still play baseball and do alot of other things with your child even if he isn't his godfather.



I agree. It's more than just an honor and a title.

Posted 1/13/06 9:53 AM
 

btrflygrl
me and baby #3!

Member since 5/05

12013 total posts

Name:
Shana

Re: Choosing Godparents...

I'm not sure about age...but for us, as long as the godparents can provide a good role model and help our child follow the faith. We chose people who actively practice their faith and who make it a part of their daily lives instead of someone who never goes to church, etc.

Posted 1/13/06 12:08 PM
 

jennifaaaa
Live..Love..Laugh!

Member since 5/05

1207 total posts

Name:
Jenn

Re: Choosing Godparents...

Well my godparents su_k!!! my parents picked godparents that were in their mid 20's and they haven't acted like godparents since they were chosen. I havent talked to my godmother in 23 years. Her doing not mine. She just fell off the earth. She called my dad 12 years ago when my mom died but never bother to speak with me.

But my DH became his nephews godfather at the age of 10. ( russian orthodox) And he is a great roll model.

So the age isnt always a deciding factor..Chat Icon at least not in my familyChat Icon

Message edited 1/13/2006 4:32:10 PM.

Posted 1/13/06 1:14 PM
 

VickiC
Rocking the party

Member since 5/05

4937 total posts

Name:
Vicki

Re: Choosing Godparents...

Well if you are Catholic, you cannot have a Godparent that is not at least 16. I'm surprised that a RC church would allow a 13 year old, never mind an 11 year old, to be a Godparent.

IMO, 13 is too young to be a Godparent. You (general you) have no idea what kind of person you are at 13, so how would they be a role model to your (general your) child?

Posted 1/13/06 1:54 PM
 

Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn

Member since 5/05

27567 total posts

Name:
Janice

Re: Choosing Godparents...

For Catholics, 1 person has to be a confirmed. The other doesn't have to be. So you could not do two 12 year olds...1 12 year old and one adult.

ETA: I was only 14 when I was confirmed..by being confirmed, you are choosing to be Catholic.

Message edited 1/13/2006 2:05:24 PM.

Posted 1/13/06 2:02 PM
 

preciouslove
I love my DS!!!

Member since 5/05

9340 total posts

Name:
Blank

Re: Choosing Godparents...

Posted by VickiC

Well if you are Catholic, you cannot have a Godparent that is not at least 16. I'm surprised that a RC church would allow a 13 year old, never mind an 11 year old, to be a Godparent.

IMO, 13 is too young to be a Godparent. You (general you) have no idea what kind of person you are at 13, so how would they be a role model to your (general your) child?



What's even strange is I thought that you had recieve your 3 sacraments before you can baptize anyone. So how can the catholic church even allow an 11 year to baptize someone if they haven't recieved their confirmation. Isn't confirmation done at age 13?

Posted 1/13/06 2:05 PM
 

michele31
LIF Adult

Member since 5/05

3372 total posts

Name:
Michele

Re: Choosing Godparents...

Each church is different with different rules. My friend's church required BOTH godparents to be confirmed and have proof of it. Mine requires only one.

I think it really depends on what a godparent means to you and what feels right to you.
I don't think age is as much of a factor as those things.

Posted 1/13/06 2:11 PM
 

Eireann
Two ladies and a gentleman!

Member since 5/05

12165 total posts

Name:

Re: Choosing Godparents...

My DH's godparents are his brother and his cousin who were both 11 at the time! I think 11 is a bit young. Now DH's brother is 45 and he's my daughter's godfather which I think is nice...so dad and baby have the same godfather. I feel 11 is a bit young, but I'm out of the loop--I'm still trying to figure out how my niece's godfather is Jewish!

ETA: I don't think 13 is a problem

Message edited 1/13/2006 4:24:02 PM.

Posted 1/13/06 4:23 PM
 

Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn

Member since 5/05

27567 total posts

Name:
Janice

Re: Choosing Godparents...

Posted by bedda26

Posted by VickiC

Well if you are Catholic, you cannot have a Godparent that is not at least 16. I'm surprised that a RC church would allow a 13 year old, never mind an 11 year old, to be a Godparent.

IMO, 13 is too young to be a Godparent. You (general you) have no idea what kind of person you are at 13, so how would they be a role model to your (general your) child?



What's even strange is I thought that you had recieve your 3 sacraments before you can baptize anyone. So how can the catholic church even allow an 11 year to baptize someone if they haven't recieved their confirmation. Isn't confirmation done at age 13?



you do have 3
Baptism
Confession
Communion

Posted 1/13/06 4:33 PM
 

2003fallwedding
SISTERS!!!

Member since 5/05

4317 total posts

Name:
Tracy

Re: Choosing Godparents...

Posted by bedda26

Posted by VickiC

Isn't confirmation done at age 13?



Every RC church is different. My nephew is 11 and he just made his Confirmation this past October.

Posted 1/13/06 5:43 PM
 

VickiC
Rocking the party

Member since 5/05

4937 total posts

Name:
Vicki

Re: Choosing Godparents...

Posted by Janice

Posted by bedda26

Posted by VickiC

Well if you are Catholic, you cannot have a Godparent that is not at least 16. I'm surprised that a RC church would allow a 13 year old, never mind an 11 year old, to be a Godparent.

IMO, 13 is too young to be a Godparent. You (general you) have no idea what kind of person you are at 13, so how would they be a role model to your (general your) child?



What's even strange is I thought that you had recieve your 3 sacraments before you can baptize anyone. So how can the catholic church even allow an 11 year to baptize someone if they haven't recieved their confirmation. Isn't confirmation done at age 13?



you do have 3
Baptism
Confession
Communion



Confession is not considered one of the "major" sacraments to be able to be a godparent. You must be Confirmed and at the church I used to work at, and the ones surrounding me, the person needs to be 16. Confirmation is a reaffrmation of your Baptismal vows. You get confirmed which shows an entering into adulthood in the Church and that you understand what it means to be Catholic.

Now I know in other religions, some are confirmed in 4th grade, which would make someone around 9. Still a little young I think.

Message edited 1/14/2006 12:35:30 AM.

Posted 1/14/06 12:33 AM
 

Amanda
LIF Infant

Member since 1/06

52 total posts

Name:
Amanda

Re: Choosing Godparents...

I have 2 godson's Elijah and Isaiah. I am 24. I have no children of my own yet. I think being a godparent is a big responsibility. Maybe too big of a resposibility for a 13 year old to handle. A godparent is someone who not only guides the child towards the Lord but is also someone who is there for them in all aspects of their life. They are like a second set of parents. And they aren't only there for the children they are there for the parents also. My godsons' parents know they can count on me and my husband for any help they need. We are a shoulder for them to lean on. And we are there to help to help them through any rough times. Our family is not catholic. But they felt that a godparent is someone who will help raise their kids to be upstanding citizens with good morals and values and also someone who would raise their kids how they would if anything were to happen to them. All in all a godparent is someone you trust and someone your kids will trust. Being a godparent isn't just about teaching the kids how to play ball it's about so much more. Maybe your husband should talk to the 13 year old about it and explain to him what it means and see if he even wants the responsibility. I love my godkids more than anything (ages 4 and a week and a half) and would do anything for them.
Sorry so long.
Amanda
godmom of Elijah (who calls me his angel mom) and Isaiah!Chat Icon

Posted 1/14/06 1:05 PM
 
 

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