Confessing my fears.....

#1: at my last appt, they did not use the doppler to check for the heartbeat, so I'm absolutely terrified that when we go for the ultrasound next week, something might be wrong.

#2 as silly as it is, I'm afraid of what I'll look like after having the baby and that my DH won't be attracted to me

#3 I'm afraid I won't be able to handle it all.....

Re: Confessing my fears.....

Shana, it's completely normal to have those fears, just know that everything wil come into place. also have faith and be positive.

Re: Confessing my fears.....

#1 and #3 are my fears too...as far as #2...lets just say DH won't care what I look like..I am under DR's orders not to BD while I am preggo so he can't wait for the baby to be born...

I feel my baby move and I still have the fear that something might still go wrong..I think it is completly natural.

Re: Confessing my fears.....

I've had similar fears, too. I always get so nervous before going to the appointments, thinking that something might go wrong. It's not silly thinking how you will look after pregnancy... I do too. What if I can not get back to my pre pregnancy weight...

But, as Tania said, stay positive. Everything is going to be fine and is normal to have all of those fears

Re: Confessing my fears.....

I feel the same way.

Re: Confessing my fears.....

Sometimes (and i know this is stupid), but because I dont really "FEEL" pregnant since i really haven't had alot if any symptoms, I think that maybe the baby went "away". I know it is dumb. And because I am only 16 weeks and dont feel the baby move yet. That is when i freak out and run to work to have one of the sono girls scan me, and they say "HE'S STILL THERE! "..... SO DUMB I KNOW!

And then the radiologist i work with tells me, "When he's crying at 4 am after you've had 1 hour sleep, believe me you'll know he didnt' go "AWAY".... HAHA...

Message edited 7/6/2005 7:49:13 PM.

Re: Confessing my fears.....

I can totally relate Shana. I think its normal to feel this way, but like everyone said, stay positive and I'm positive everything will be fine. Your DH married you because he loves you, so don't worry about that. Im sure he will be more in love after he sees the best gift only you can give him.

Re: Confessing my fears.....

I don't really know if this will help you, but the fears you express are so normal and rational, especially for a first-time Mom.

WRT the baby's heartrate...you can ALWAYS ask your doctor to use the doppler, just to give you that reassurance. Sometimes the best way to get the care and treatment we want is to speak up and demand it.

WRT your post-baby body...there will be an adjustment period FOR YOU more than your hubby, to be honest. I personally think it's much more difficult for a woman to accept her "new" curves.

I am sure your hubby will absolutely still love you...and you may even find that your love for each other has deepened in a way you never thought possible, after the baby is born.

And, I don't know ANY first-time Moms who think they can handle it all...you will learn to do the best you can and not ask too much of yourself all the time. It is a constant struggle for balance...but, welcome to Motherhood!

Re: Confessing my fears.....

I can completely understand where you are coming from. Being at the same point in the pregnancy, it still feels surreal and is very scary when I can't feel or see this living baby inside of me.
As far as my DH, I had issues with body image to begin with. This is probably going to be an issue I need to deal with so that it doesn't affect US. My DH has been so supportive and loving...I just have to focus on that instead of my own insecurities.
And in terms of dealing...every first time mother learns quickly from what I can see! I KNOW there will be times when I am overwhelmed, but ...You will make your own routine for what works for you and your baby.

Re: Confessing my fears.....

I was totally scared the whole first trimester about--like a previous poster said--the baby not "being there" any more. I felt so ridiculous, I probably never even mentioned it to my DH.

Currently, I totally relate with #2, but I'm also worried about how DH feels about my body NOW. I had a hormonal breakdown a couple of days ago over this. I told him that I know 10 years from now when the baby-making is all over he'll confess that he never really liked my pregnant body...totally irrational on my part. He reminded me that I am doing the most important thing any human being could do and not to trivialize the magnitude of carrying a baby by worrying about how my body looks...it's supposed to look that way. I think that's a really cool way to look at it, even though, as women with our body hang-ups, etc, it can be hard.

Just know that the baby is going to be perfect you're going to be a great--and hot--mommy!!