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MrsMessina
Thankful for our miracles!
Member since 2/07 7254 total posts
Name:
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Confused and sad
I have PCOS and want a baby more than anything. Since before we got married we had decided that we would try for kids when I was 27 or so. I'm going to be 28 in 6 months and I'm losing my Cobra at the end of the year and after that will have no medical.
To complicate things, in the past year my husband has become a die hard Christian and doesn't believe in IVF b/c it's thru science and not thru God. Honestly, I would've tried it by now b/c I'm having no luck any other way. I'm just feeling really lost and sad today. We went out for lunch and everywhere I turned were babies and children... and my heart is breaking    
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Posted 3/4/07 3:06 PM  |
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CellarDweller
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 1562 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Confused and sad
Wow, I'm so sorry. I don't have PCOS but definitely know how frustrating TTC is. And I totally understand how some days it seems like every woman is either pg or with a kid.
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| Posted 3/4/07 4:53 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: Confused and sad
oh wow...Thats a really hard place to be in.
I dont know how I react if my husbands views were so different then mine.
I think thats one thing you will need to make sure you come to terms with so you dont have resentment in the end.
Are you being treated for PCOS? What does your OB say about your chances? Anything you can do to improve your odds naturally?
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| Posted 3/4/07 6:11 PM |
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rose825
Best Friends
Member since 6/05 10228 total posts
Name:
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Re: Confused and sad
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| Posted 3/4/07 6:21 PM |
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jms100303
Luv my munchkins
Member since 5/05 4789 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Confused and sad
Oh wow, you are in a really tough place. It is hard to give advice, so I am sending you lots of . I hope things work out for you.
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| Posted 3/4/07 6:54 PM |
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Gertyrae
Peace out Homies!
Member since 5/05 20046 total posts
Name:
Gerty ®
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Re: Confused and sad
I'm sorry you are in this situation and can only offer you hugs. It's very difficult if you and DH are on different pages regarding having a baby.
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| Posted 3/4/07 9:02 PM |
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juju
Welcome to the World!
Member since 5/05 6747 total posts
Name:
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Re: Confused and sad
I sent you an FM. So sorry you are confused and that you and DH are in a different place right now .
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| Posted 3/4/07 9:22 PM |
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LaurenExp
Waiting patiently for baby sis
Member since 8/06 11613 total posts
Name:
L-Diddy EDD 11/11/11 :)
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Re: Confused and sad
Are you being treated for the PCOS? If you're on Metformin, perhaps that'll help you conceive naturally. How does he feel about IUI?
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| Posted 3/5/07 7:18 AM |
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calendargrl
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 1686 total posts
Name:
jan
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Re: Confused and sad
I'm sorry your feeling like this. I would definitely see your RE so they can help you with PCOS. 
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| Posted 3/5/07 8:42 AM |
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lulugrrl
My 3 Blessings
Member since 3/06 6551 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: Confused and sad
I'm sorry you are going through this. I don't know what I would do if hubby and I were not on same page. Would you be allowed to take CLOMID or Metformin for the PCOS, you would not necessarily have to do IVF. Well, I just want to send oyu some
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| Posted 3/5/07 9:47 AM |
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jellybean78
:)
Member since 8/06 13103 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: Confused and sad
I'm so sorry you have to go through this but not everyone with PCOS has to do IVF. I'm sorry you and your husband don't see on the same page. That is very hard but don't give up hope. IVF is usually the last step taken in the IF route. Good Luck!
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| Posted 3/5/07 3:33 PM |
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MrsMessina
Thankful for our miracles!
Member since 2/07 7254 total posts
Name:
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Re: Confused and sad
Well I'm kind of keeping it as my body, my way. It just means he won't go get his swimmers tested or go the IV route with me.
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| Posted 3/5/07 7:20 PM |
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michele31
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3372 total posts
Name:
Michele
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Re: Confused and sad
HUGS to you.
I could see myself resenting my husband very much if his new found beliefs prevented me from having a child. Have you and he discussed how this will effect your relationship? I am so sorry that you have to deal with so much.
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| Posted 3/5/07 9:00 PM |
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MrsMessina
Thankful for our miracles!
Member since 2/07 7254 total posts
Name:
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Re: Confused and sad
Posted by michele31
HUGS to you.
I could see myself resenting my husband very much if his new found beliefs prevented me from having a child. Have you and he discussed how this will effect your relationship? I am so sorry that you have to deal with so much.
Yes, we have. To some degree I see where he's coming from b/c I've always lived by the philosophy that "if it's meant to be it will happen" but I'm reaching a point in my life when that's not acceptable anymore. He's not anti child he's just anti science- he believes that if we're meant to have a child that God will allow us to. I kind of take it a step farther and say that God is allowing science to do these amazing things- but that's when I lose him and he tells me I'm wrong... aahhh... the joys of religion- where no one can prove the other person right or wrong- it was so much easier when we were on the same page.
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| Posted 3/6/07 9:27 AM |
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juju
Welcome to the World!
Member since 5/05 6747 total posts
Name:
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Re: Confused and sad
Posted by MrsMessina
Posted by michele31
HUGS to you.
I could see myself resenting my husband very much if his new found beliefs prevented me from having a child. Have you and he discussed how this will effect your relationship? I am so sorry that you have to deal with so much.
Yes, we have. To some degree I see where he's coming from b/c I've always lived by the philosophy that "if it's meant to be it will happen" but I'm reaching a point in my life when that's not acceptable anymore. He's not anti child he's just anti science- he believes that if we're meant to have a child that God will allow us to. I kind of take it a step farther and say that God is allowing science to do these amazing things- but that's when I lose him and he tells me I'm wrong... aahhh... the joys of religion- where no one can prove the other person right or wrong- it was so much easier when we were on the same page.
I used to be that person and I have come to hate the phrase ...."if its meant to be it will happen" as if I am suppose to just sit back and let life take its course without any control. I now feel that we control our destination with God's guidance. And like you, I feel that God is allowing Science to do these amazing things for us. I believe that is what God intended.
I think you and Dh need to discuss his new found beliefs b/c if you are in disagreement now, what will happen when you have children? Will it only be his way without any consideration on how you feel? So sorry about your struggles!
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| Posted 3/6/07 10:51 AM |
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michele31
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3372 total posts
Name:
Michele
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Re: Confused and sad
What are his views on adoptions? You don't have to post them, but that is not "science" and you do become a parent to a child that needs you.
Having his sperm tested is not science IMO..it is not making a baby but rather knowing if there is an issue so you can make a full decision with ALL information.
Lots of things happen..good and bad. Sometimes God wants us to take control of our lives. We have free will. Would your husband not allow you medicine if you were sick because it is "science"? Of course not. It is all the same thing.
HUGS. This must be VERY stressful.
Message edited 3/6/2007 12:31:27 PM.
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| Posted 3/6/07 12:31 PM |
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MrsMessina
Thankful for our miracles!
Member since 2/07 7254 total posts
Name:
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Re: Confused and sad
Posted by michele31
What are his views on adoptions? You don't have to post them, but that is not "science" and you do become a parent to a child that needs you.
Having his sperm tested is not science IMO..it is not making a baby but rather knowing if there is an issue so you can make a full decision with ALL information.
Lots of things happen..good and bad. Sometimes God wants us to take control of our lives. We have free will. Would your husband not allow you medicine if you were sick because it is "science"? Of course not. It is all the same thing.
HUGS. This must be VERY stressful.
It's funny that you brought this up b/c he's adopted. So are his siblings and no offense to anyone (adopted ones or adoptees) but they're the only 3 I know that are adopted and I feel like I have a closer relationship w/ their parents than they do. It's like all 3 of them fell from 3 different trees... none of them are close. I would probably die if I didn't see and talk to my family on a regular basis- that's how close I am with them- but his family - we could go months w/o talking to either sibling... it's so strange. So though he's not against adoption, i'm not fully aware of my feelings on it yet... in the event that I can't get pregnant it would definitely be an option to consider down the road though.
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| Posted 3/6/07 11:03 PM |
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michele31
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3372 total posts
Name:
Michele
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Re: Confused and sad
I guess because I just adopted my son i would say that you might want to get another experiene. I know MANY blood-birth siblings that are not close and only see each other on the holidays too. I think it is how you are raised and the personalities more than adopted vs. blood birth.
I can say 110% that I felt NO difference between when the OB handed me Molly and when the nanny handed me Jason. I am probably one of the few with both experiences and I can share that both of my children hold the same place in my heart. The journeys were different to both children but both journeys were beautiful and had their challenges.
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| Posted 3/8/07 9:26 PM |
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