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princess99
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3944 total posts
Name:
ME
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Crying my eyes out, and very upset....
Sorry for such a dramatic header on this. I am so upset. We just went to dinner with "friends". Or so I thought. I have known this couple for about 15 years, for about 5 years they had moved out of state. She had problems having her son. I just got married 3 years ago. I missed out on a lot while I was taking care of 2 sick and now deceased parents. I spent my 20's taking my Mom for chemo treatments, juggled collge and work, and my late 20's and early 30's dealing with my dad being a frail diabetic, and then havng a stroke in front of me and me picking him up from the floor. It has been rough. I have a wonderful DH. We have traveled alot and I am very happy. We are trying to have a baby. I had 1 MC in late 2005. I took a break from actively TTC, becuase I do not think I was emotionally ready for a baby, and whatever happened happened. My 2 SIL were pregnant and I did not want to be pregnant with them. I wanted my own time and they both have there parents. I wanted my time to have a baby to be special because there were no grandparents left on either side. One SIL had the babies ( twins) the other is still pregnant. My DH had some problems and had to see a urologist and he had an infection. He went on meds and is now okay. We have to try actively with timing for a year. This supposed friend said to me tonight
" how are things going with the house? I said okay we are working on redoing the diniing room etc. She said, Well, don't you think you should be actively trying to have a baby????!!!! THE NERVE. She nows the situation, and when is this her business or her problem. I hate confrontation and DH just changed the topic. I came home and have been crying since. I have had a very rough time in my 20's and part of my 30's. She is 42 years old. I am just starting to really enjoy my life and really want to actively try with OPK's etc. I am just so upset. there is no way I can say anything becuase I have said it before. Now she wants me to come over in the morning and there is no way I am going over there. I am just so so so upset that someone would say something to me like this. What would you do? 
Message edited 12/5/2007 9:57:11 PM.
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Posted 12/5/07 9:55 PM  |
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DeniseMarie
<3
Member since 8/07 10682 total posts
Name:
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Re: Crying my eyes out, and very upset....
Some people just dont realize how a simple comment (to them) can be taken. She should know that this is a stressful topic for you.
Feel better
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| Posted 12/5/07 9:58 PM |
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MrsO
Big Brothers to Be
Member since 1/07 4521 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: Crying my eyes out, and very upset....
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| Posted 12/5/07 10:22 PM |
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Dani922
Here's to new beginnings
Member since 10/07 7260 total posts
Name:
Danielle
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Re: Crying my eyes out, and very upset....
I don't think she meant to hurt you, but that doesn't excuse the comment. I don't think some people realize how sensitive & personal the topic of TTC can be.
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| Posted 12/5/07 10:25 PM |
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Domino
Always My Miracle
Member since 9/05 9923 total posts
Name:
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Re: Crying my eyes out, and very upset....
some people just dont get it. She may have just been trying to help as it sounds like you're nearing mid 30s when it starts becoming a little more difficult for us TTC.
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| Posted 12/6/07 6:26 AM |
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princess99
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3944 total posts
Name:
ME
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Re: Crying my eyes out, and very upset....
Posted by Dani922
I don't think she meant to hurt you, but that doesn't excuse the comment. I don't think some people realize how sensitive & personal the topic of TTC can be.
She makes comments like this ALL the time. She is in a miserable marriage too.
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| Posted 12/6/07 6:34 AM |
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diva7531
My Peanut
Member since 2/07 5199 total posts
Name:
Ryan 3 boys EDD 11/6!
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Re: Crying my eyes out, and very upset....
hope your feeling better this morning
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| Posted 12/6/07 6:34 AM |
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princess99
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3944 total posts
Name:
ME
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Re: Crying my eyes out, and very upset....
Posted by diva7531
hope your feeling better this morning
DREADING calling her to tell her I cannot see her this morning. I might just say I overslept.  I hate/never to lie, but in this case, I need to protect myself.....
PS I had my MC this time of year too, so it does not help at all.....
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| Posted 12/6/07 6:44 AM |
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Kissy331
My two miracles!
Member since 5/06 17826 total posts
Name:
Kristen
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Re: Crying my eyes out, and very upset....
Her comment was definately rude & uncalled for but people have no sense sometimes
With that said, I am one to be honest, so I would call her this morning & tell her, I can't make it. I am not feeling up to it today. If she questions, I would say, I am honestly hurt with your comment last night. I am not sure if you meant it or not, but I would really rather not discuss this with you.
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| Posted 12/6/07 7:11 AM |
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runlikethewind
Love my babies!
Member since 12/06 2941 total posts
Name:
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Re: Crying my eyes out, and very upset....
OMG what is wrong w/ people?? 
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| Posted 12/6/07 7:17 AM |
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mooshyboo
So Blessed!
Member since 11/07 6297 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Crying my eyes out, and very upset....
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| Posted 12/6/07 7:34 AM |
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twinkletoes807
Mommy's Girls! ♥
Member since 11/07 10116 total posts
Name:
Gabi
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Re: Crying my eyes out, and very upset....
Posted by princess99
Posted by Dani922
I don't think she meant to hurt you, but that doesn't excuse the comment. I don't think some people realize how sensitive & personal the topic of TTC can be.
She makes comments like this ALL the time. She is in a miserable marriage too.
I am so sorry that you are dealing with an insensitive a$$hole. To be honest, if I were in your shoes, I would not continue this relationship. If she is supposed to be your friend and makes nasty comments all the time, who needs the stress and negativity? You have been thru enough!  Cut her off! 
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| Posted 12/6/07 7:45 AM |
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NCMom
LIF Infant
Member since 9/06 160 total posts
Name:
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Re: Crying my eyes out, and very upset....
I'm so sorry she was so inconsiderate. Some people just think that you BD once and you get a baby. They have no clue that some people might have other struggles. It's upsetting when come from a friend who you think should understand.
After you feel a little better, you might want to try and talk to her about her comment and how it made you feel. Especially if this person is going to be staying in your life.
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| Posted 12/6/07 7:50 AM |
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BunnyBaby
Loving Motherhood!!!
Member since 11/07 1238 total posts
Name:
Audrina
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Re: Crying my eyes out, and very upset....
Wow... What a real hurtful thing to say  . Some people just speak & they dont realize what they are saying & how it will affect people. I'm sorry you had to deal with that.
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| Posted 12/6/07 8:19 AM |
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bicosi
life is a carousel
Member since 7/07 14956 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Crying my eyes out, and very upset....
I am so sorry!
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| Posted 12/6/07 9:30 AM |
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pickles16
Real Estate Professional
Member since 11/07 17227 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Crying my eyes out, and very upset....
Posted by twinkletoes807
Posted by princess99
Posted by Dani922
I don't think she meant to hurt you, but that doesn't excuse the comment. I don't think some people realize how sensitive & personal the topic of TTC can be.
She makes comments like this ALL the time. She is in a miserable marriage too.
I am so sorry that you are dealing with an insensitive a$$hole. To be honest, if I were in your shoes, I would not continue this relationship. If she is supposed to be your friend and makes nasty comments all the time, who needs the stress and negativity? You have been thru enough! Cut her off!
If she always makes comment like this I would totally call her up this morning and put an end to the friendship. It's obviously jealousy if she's in a miserable marriage and is thrivining on someone elses' pain to not deal with hers, and I know you hate confrontation, but I would say that right to her today on the phone....you don't need such a negative person in your life, you seem like you've been through a lot and are a really GOOD person, and you need to surround yourself with people that are just as good as you, not hurtful and mean...
Do you want me to go there and give her a piece of my mind
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| Posted 12/6/07 9:33 AM |
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toni-mike
???????
Member since 10/07 1196 total posts
Name:
Toni
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Re: Crying my eyes out, and very upset....
when she said ....
Well, don't you think you should be actively trying to have a baby????!!!!
I would have said, well dont you think you should actively try to NOT be a asssssssswhollllleeee !!!!!!
xoxo
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| Posted 12/6/07 9:48 AM |
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neener1211
:-)
Member since 4/07 22952 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: Crying my eyes out, and very upset....
Posted by Dani922
I don't think she meant to hurt you, but that doesn't excuse the comment. I don't think some people realize how sensitive & personal the topic of TTC can be.
I agree....
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| Posted 12/6/07 9:51 AM |
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mia818
LIF Adult
Member since 12/07 2197 total posts
Name:
Mia
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Re: Crying my eyes out, and very upset....
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| Posted 12/6/07 9:52 AM |
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tann22
LIF Adult
Member since 6/05 2421 total posts
Name:
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Re: Crying my eyes out, and very upset....
ahhh I'm sorry
Some people are so stupid and don't realize
that some comments can be so hurtful.
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| Posted 12/6/07 10:21 AM |
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KellyDance
Merry Christmas!
Member since 6/07 2153 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: Crying my eyes out, and very upset....
I'm sorry! She is probably just jealous and wants to make you feel badly. I would say something calmly to her if you want to keep the friendship...otherwise you will harbor bad feelings. Just tell her that comment hurt you.
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| Posted 12/6/07 1:46 PM |
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Re: Crying my eyes out, and very upset....
Posted by toni-mike
when she said ....
Well, don't you think you should be actively trying to have a baby????!!!!
I would have said, well dont you think you should actively try to NOT be a asssssssswhollllleeee !!!!!!
xoxo
Sounds like a proper reply to me.
I dont usually come on this board but your story broke my heart.
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| Posted 12/6/07 2:08 PM |
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dancerandchef
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/07 575 total posts
Name:
Charlotte & Michael
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Re: Crying my eyes out, and very upset....
We are really sorry to hear about this. Some people just do not think about our feelings. We know how you are feeling because we have been married a little over two months and some family and friends want us to start BM. We tell them things will happen when they are suppose to.
I have been crying my eyes out also but I have learned to just focus on my husband and me.
Here are some hugs and if you need to chat you can FM me. 
~dancer and chef~
charlotte and michael
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| Posted 12/7/07 12:27 PM |
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snowflake08
Love my boys!!!
Member since 8/07 5148 total posts
Name:
Laura
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Re: Crying my eyes out, and very upset....
personally, i think it is extremely ignorant for anyone to EVER comment or ask about WHEN you are going to have a baby
unless you bring up the topic, it is nobody's business
JMO
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| Posted 12/7/07 10:55 PM |
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Madisonmom
LIF Infant
Member since 10/07 173 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: Crying my eyes out, and very upset....
I am so sorry you are upset.. I have a friend who is just like your friend. I used to be upset with her stupid comments all the time. I have learned over the years to take her with a grain of salt. My DH always says look where its coming from... And I put her in her place every chance I get. I think people should learn that TTC is not open for public discussion, unless we want to discuss it.
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| Posted 12/7/07 11:05 PM |
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