Curious as to what you guys think

IDF SOLDIER'S DREAM TO COME TRUE, AFTER DEATH

In August 2002, 19-year-old Sergeant Kevin Cohen was guarding an Israeli settlement in the Gaza Strip. At 7 a.m. he was shot dead by a Palestinian sniper. It was that bullet that killed Kevin and his dream, which he had related to his mother, Rachel Cohen, of one day fathering a child.

But this week, four years after his death, a dramatic ruling by an Israeli court means Kevin Cohen’s dream may very well come true.

A ‘biological will’
After her son’s death, Cohen approached a non-profit organization called "New Family" which is dedicated to advancing family rights.

The organization is trying to convince people to write a "biological will," which in case of death would allow doctors to extract sperm from their bodies," explained Irit Rosenblum, the founder of "New Family" and Cohen’s lawyer.

It was a mother's instinct that led Cohen to request doctors to freeze her dead son’s sperm. Cohen said she had a dream one year after her son died.

"He appeared in my dream and asked me, mom what’s with my child? Please hurry," said Cohen. "I woke up with a big sweat and decided to go ahead, all the way."

Then came the legal battle, which was fought around the ruling permitting only the wife of a deceased man to extract his sperm and to become impregnated by it. The new ruling now recognizes the parent’s right over a dead child’s sperm.

Battle won
Cohen’s cell phone rang with the good news just as she was laying flowers on her son's grave. "I was too nervous and frustrated with the court battle, I decided the best place to be was near Kevin’s grave," said Cohen.

Rosenblum called with the news that her dream of becoming a grandmother was going to come true. "The decision gave me great happiness but still the pain is so huge, I turned to the grave and told the good news to Kevin," said Cohen.

"The ruling represents a light at the end of the tunnel both for a family mourning the loss of a child, and also for a single woman wanting to bring a new life into this world," said Rosenblum.

An unusual appeal
During the course of the legal battle Cohen sent out an emotional appeal to the Israeli public for help. It was a strange request: Would a woman come forward and give birth to Cohen’s dead son's child?

The process of finding a mother for Kevin Cohen’s child took more than two years. Two hundred women were interviewed, medical tests were conducted, meetings with psychologists took place and finally one was chosen. "She won my heart right away," said Cohen.

The 35-year-old woman preferred not to be identified, but Cohen said, "There are a lot of women out there that really want to know the father’s identity, his background, to be able to tell the child who was his father."

Now Cohen is waiting for another phone call, for more good news, that maybe nine months from now she will become a grandmother. At last she will be able to look at her son’s picture and tell him he has a child.

I do feel sad for her that she lost her child BUT this weirds me out big time because she played God for her own personal gains. Or is that a narrow minded view? Curious as to what everyone else thinks.

Re: Curious as to what you guys think

maybe I'm being stupid but I'm confused - they are supposed to extract sperm from the dead body??

Re: Curious as to what you guys think

Re: Curious as to what you guys think

As a Wife, of course, I would want this...but, for a mother to want this.... not sure how I feel about this. It is a bit strange.

Message edited 1/18/2007 2:56:09 PM.

Re: Curious as to what you guys think

Re: Curious as to what you guys think

Posted by juju

As a Wife, of course, I would want this...but, for a mother to want this.... not sure how I feel about this. It is a bit strange.

Re: Curious as to what you guys think

I really have mixed feelings about this. I am very sad for the parents and all, but this child will never know his biological father. To interview strangers to raise their grandchild. I don't know. I am not in their shoes, so I guess I just don't understand.

Re: Curious as to what you guys think

While I can understand why a wife would do this, I think his mother took what he said too literally.

Re: Curious as to what you guys think

From the info given here, I am against it.

Telling your mom at 19 that you'd like to have kids isn't the same thing as giving her permission to extract sperm from your body and impregnate a woman of her choosing. We don't know in what context he said it. We don't know if he'd approve of his child being raised in that situation.

What about custody issues? Who is raising this child? Does the birth mom have to sign anything giving visitation rights to the grandmother? What if they argue over child raising issues? That's a huge can of worms.

Re: Curious as to what you guys think

I understand a wife wanting to do this & having the right to do it. Even for the wife, she is legally playing with fire. Social Security does not pay survivor's benefits to the child. I don't believe any estate should be allowed to be transferred unless the child was conceived before death.

For a mom, I think it's creepy. I understand wanting to have any piece of your deceased child but I think it brings up too many issues. How is this "grandmother" going to feel when the woman decides she doesn't want contact? Is she going to sue for visitation? Very few states allow grandparent's rights. (realizng this is international but thinking domestic implications).

I think there are a natural order of things. If the son wanted to donate sperm while he was alive that's his business. Upon death, I think the issue should end.

Re: Curious as to what you guys think

It sounds a little wierd to me. But I don't think its as bad as some other things out there. I just have a lot of questions-

Is the biological mother going to raise the child with the grandparents as the grandparents? Or are the grandparents going to raise the child and use the biological mother as a surrogate

Frankly, if she wants to have a child, and the grandmother wants to have a grandchild- then I don't see the big deal. As long as everyone is in agreement in the beginning.