Curious, what are your thoughts on this?

Let me first say that it's over and done with, so nothing can be done at this point. I'm just curious as to others opinions on this.

On Friday, my mil called and asked to come over on Sunday to see the baby. This means her and my FIL. She'll make dinner and bring it with her. Fine, no problem.

She calls the next day, to ask us to come to her. I say no b/c my mom and aunt are coming over on Sunday to see the baby too. Fine, they will come to us.

So Sunday comes and in walks my BIL, and his gf with my IL's.

We only thought my IL's were coming. Not a big deal, b/c I know my MIL made more then enough.

My issue is, she invited them to my house without asking us first. And of course we would have said no problem, but we never got the phone call that said, "bil and gf want to come too."

I'm thinking it's a wee bit rude to invite people to someone else's houe. And I know that if we ask MIL her answer will be "I thought I told yous." (yes, yous.)

What are your thoughts on that?

Re: Curious, what are your thoughts on this?

My personal thoughts are always "the more, the merrier" when it comes to MY family. We do things like this all the time because it's just the way we operate. At the last minute, someone might decide they want to come over, too, etc. I don't have any problem with it.
If I was the one cooking and I didn't make enough, I'd be upset, but since I always make enough food to feed an army, it's never a problem.

Now, if it was my inlaws, that'd be another story. I don't let them come over anyway, so I guess it's not an issue

Sorry you were upset, though. Just be glad they want to see you and the baby. Some families (like me inlaws) have nothing to do with their grandchildren.

Re: Curious, what are your thoughts on this?

She should have called and asked! My MIL pulls this one on us as well, so you're not alone!

Re: Curious, what are your thoughts on this?

Your BIL being your husband's brother? I don't think I would be upset if it were my husbands siblings. How does your husband feel about it?They should have called but some families don't think that way. I know mine doesn't

Re: Curious, what are your thoughts on this?

Posted by prncss



Sorry you were upset, though. Just be glad they want to see you and the baby. Some families (like me inlaws) have nothing to do with their grandchildren.

Re: Curious, what are your thoughts on this?

This happens all the time with my mil. She always brings extra people. In my opinion/family...more is not merrier. Next time she calls to come over, ask her if anyone else is coming with her.

Re: Curious, what are your thoughts on this?

I would have liked a little bit of a heads up

Re: Curious, what are your thoughts on this?

I don't get along with my BIL and SIL, so I would of been pi$$ed if my IL's just decided to bring them along with them to my house! They should of called you first.

Re: Curious, what are your thoughts on this?

my first initial thought is that it was rude of them.

how close is your DH to his brother? I guess what I am saying is that if they are super close and see each other often, they probably didn't see an issue with it.

Re: Curious, what are your thoughts on this?

I would not be upset if it was my husbands brothers and sisters. I would however be upset if I was the one making dinner and they came unannounced

Re: Curious, what are your thoughts on this?

not really a big deal IMO, since you weren't cooking.

Is a heads-up courteous? Sure. But totally not a big deal

Message edited 8/24/2009 10:34:33 AM.

Re: Curious, what are your thoughts on this?

Re: Curious, what are your thoughts on this?

I have to agree with most, I don't think it's a big deal. We typically have an open door policy in our house and whoever feels like attending just shows up.

There have been a couple of times where I will specify only "xx" and "xx" can come. And usually that's for when we are making some form of an announcement.

I think your feeling a little more disrespected then anything else. Disrespected because it's your house and no one thought to ask you if you'd mind. Which is understandable.

But, like Rachel said. When your IL's upset you with something like this be thankful they want to see the baby at all!

Re: Curious, what are your thoughts on this?

as long as its family that i get along with i dont think i'd care. i like having guests.

but in my instance, if my MIL brought my SIL and her FH without telling me then i wouldve been ******! cause i cant stand FBIL!

Re: Curious, what are your thoughts on this?

Re: Curious, what are your thoughts on this?

IMHO it is rude to invite guests to come to another person's home without checking with the homeowners first. I don't care that it is family, or that I'm not cooking or whatever - it is just plain rude.

Re: Curious, what are your thoughts on this?

The only thing that would have bothered me is that if I was just expecting ILs I would have been more likely to be in sweats that might even have spit up on them. If I knew BIL & his gf were coming too I would have made an effort to look a little nicer. When my babies were first home I was so focused on them and I knew that my mom and my ILs didn't care how I looked, you know?

Re: Curious, what are your thoughts on this?

Re: Curious, what are your thoughts on this?

It really wouldnt have bothered me at all.

If it was someone I didnt know well or wasnt family I might feel different but for us call or no call family is always welcome.