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Cheeks24
Living a dream
Member since 1/08 8589 total posts
Name:
Cheeks
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Re: curious what you think... i'm sure many would disagree with me
Posted by Ophelia
in switzerland they get 2 years.
and I want to thank whomever it is that posted about how important time to bond is with your newborn.
I think our maternity laws here are terrible. terrible.
I don't think it's cool for people to take advantage or abuse (I think your friends are wrong to be honest for not advising their employers of their intentions to not go back after the paid leave period is over) but regardless of if you are child free or not, you have to see the value of being a mother in society. being able to raise a child, a new citizen of the world, and the value of having that burden just be slightly lessened.
I work for the federal govt. we have NO maternity leave policy. well rather, we don't offer paid maternity leave. you take sick/vacation/advanced leave/unpaid leave under FMLA. that's it.
I returned back to work exactly one year ago today.
my son was just 6 weeks old. 6 WEEKS out of the womb and I was already handing him off to someone else for care.
I cannot express to you how difficult that is. it's not possible.
to be honest, I don't think we value FAMILY all that much. I cannot believe anyone would be denied time to care for a dying parent. I think that is deplorable.
we should be working to make these "benefits' more global. stop taking away family importance.
the importance of being a new, nurturing mother.
the importance of being a dutiful, nurturing wife, daughter, granddaughter.
if you want things to be even, make it to everyone's favor, not to everyone's detriment.
I completely agree!
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Posted 12/1/10 10:34 PM  |
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Cheeks24
Living a dream
Member since 1/08 8589 total posts
Name:
Cheeks
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Re: curious what you think... i'm sure many would disagree with me
Posted by MrsPJB2007
Posted by jilliibabii
Now the thing I have a problem with- paternity leave. 
I was just curious -- what is wrong with paternity leave?
I was wondering this too. I wish DH would get it so he can get up in the middle of the night with me!
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| Posted 12/1/10 10:35 PM |
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heathergirl
Cocktail Time!
Member since 10/08 4978 total posts
Name:
American mouth
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Re: curious what you think... i'm sure many would disagree with me
Posted by Mici C
Posted by MrsPJB2007
Posted by jilliibabii
Now the thing I have a problem with- paternity leave.
I was just curious -- what is wrong with paternity leave?
I was wondering this too. I wish DH would get it so he can get up in the middle of the night with me!
I think paternity leave is fine. I would love for DH's to have some access to time off at birth.
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| Posted 12/1/10 10:43 PM |
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MissJones
I need a nap!
Member since 5/05 22136 total posts
Name:
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Re: curious what you think... i'm sure many would disagree with me
I think if we DIDN'T have paid maternity leave, we'd be backwards as a country in our thinking. As Ophelia posted, many countries in Europe support new mothers MUCH more than America and here we are thinking we are so progressive.
But it's also not like these women are having a baby just to get paid for not being at work.  It's a pretty legitimate reason.
However, I do agree that a similar courtesy should be extended to those who choose NOT to have children but may have a different kind of familial obligation.
For me, I'm basically paying into my maternity leave. I will be using my saved sick days. Will it be paid? Yes, but it is costing ME something. I think that does make sense. It doesn't affect those who do not have children and it still allows me to take the time I will need.
As for paternity, I see nothing wrong with a paid week or 2 for a new father. Again, we have to support families, ALL kinds, in our society. We have been moving away from that and it's been evident in the kind of society that we have become.
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| Posted 12/2/10 7:00 AM |
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IrishLasss334
I'll be there soon!
Member since 1/08 6549 total posts
Name:
Patty
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Re: curious what you think... i'm sure many would disagree with me
Posted by Ophelia
in switzerland they get 2 years.
and I want to thank whomever it is that posted about how important time to bond is with your newborn.
I think our maternity laws here are terrible. terrible.
I don't think it's cool for people to take advantage or abuse (I think your friends are wrong to be honest for not advising their employers of their intentions to not go back after the paid leave period is over) but regardless of if you are child free or not, you have to see the value of being a mother in society. being able to raise a child, a new citizen of the world, and the value of having that burden just be slightly lessened.
I work for the federal govt. we have NO maternity leave policy. well rather, we don't offer paid maternity leave. you take sick/vacation/advanced leave/unpaid leave under FMLA. that's it.
I returned back to work exactly one year ago today.
my son was just 6 weeks old. 6 WEEKS out of the womb and I was already handing him off to someone else for care.
I cannot express to you how difficult that is. it's not possible.
to be honest, I don't think we value FAMILY all that much. I cannot believe anyone would be denied time to care for a dying parent. I think that is deplorable.
we should be working to make these "benefits' more global. stop taking away family importance.
the importance of being a new, nurturing mother.
the importance of being a dutiful, nurturing wife, daughter, granddaughter.
if you want things to be even, make it to everyone's favor, not to everyone's detriment.
Germany has 3 years. You are not paid your full salary for the entire time, but your job is secured until your return.
I agree we need to have better "leave" policies in general whether it be maternity/paternity or caring for a sick parent/grandparent/spouse, immediate family member.
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| Posted 12/2/10 8:47 AM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: curious what you think... i'm sure many would disagree with me
Posted by shadows
I know not a ton of places do paid maternity leave, but regareless, I was just wondering what people thought about it. And there are a fair number of places that do it - my law firm does, and I know a few others that do (and the poster above said that her firm does). Maybe it's more common in law firms.
Someone in my own family had 8 kids, basically one after the next. If your office had paid maternity leave, would that bother you at all? Does it reach a point where it's just unfair to everyone else holding the weight in the company? If so, what is that point?
(I swear I am not trying to be argumentative or anything like that - I am just honestly interested in what people think about random topics sometimes  )
they would have to be making BEAUCOUP money. to be able to have 8 kids in childcare. I think at that point, a person with 8 kids continuing in the work force would be VERY few and far between.
it's far more lucrative nowadays to get your own tv show.
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| Posted 12/2/10 10:02 AM |
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MissRadiant
Happily Ever After
Member since 9/08 2534 total posts
Name:
N
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Re: curious what you think... i'm sure many would disagree with me
I have no problem with paid maternity leave. I think it is GREAT. I truly wish that more companies did that for their employees. I also think that its important for the fathers to get paternity leave. It is just as much their baby as it is the mothers and their help is truly needed. I am currently CF but I would love to work in a place so considerate when i have a kid.
Also - its the same thing as when someone is off on a sick leave or disability. The work that the person does must be split. I would think that if any of us were in any position where we had to take a break from our jobs we wouldn't want to come back to people being bitter because "they had to do our work". My boss is a cancer survivor and for 9 months last year I did my work and her work. I was greatful that she came back HEALTHY. That's what mattered to me. I did not get an extra dime and I didn't complain.
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| Posted 12/2/10 10:24 AM |
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MrsRbk
<3 <3 <3 <3
Member since 1/06 19197 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: curious what you think... i'm sure many would disagree with me
Posted by Ophelia
Posted by shadows
I know not a ton of places do paid maternity leave, but regareless, I was just wondering what people thought about it. And there are a fair number of places that do it - my law firm does, and I know a few others that do (and the poster above said that her firm does). Maybe it's more common in law firms.
Someone in my own family had 8 kids, basically one after the next. If your office had paid maternity leave, would that bother you at all? Does it reach a point where it's just unfair to everyone else holding the weight in the company? If so, what is that point?
(I swear I am not trying to be argumentative or anything like that - I am just honestly interested in what people think about random topics sometimes )
they would have to be making BEAUCOUP money. to be able to have 8 kids in childcare. I think at that point, a person with 8 kids continuing in the work force would be VERY few and far between.
it's far more lucrative nowadays to get your own tv show.
I guess I fall into that category (not the 8 kids part, then I'd be locked away in a padded cell!) I went back PT to my previous FT job in July of 2009 when my DD was 5 months old. I got pregnant again in December and was out on leave again starting the end of July this year. I chose to have my kids close in age, I'll be 40 in a couple of months and didn't have the luxury of time on my hands (DH is 45), plus both my kids are IVF babies so getting pregnant on my own in my own time was not an option.
But again, my leave benefits come directly out of my pat as I pay into my short term disability.
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| Posted 12/2/10 11:06 AM |
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Re: curious what you think... i'm sure many would disagree with me
Posted by MissRadiant
I have no problem with paid maternity leave. I think it is GREAT. I truly wish that more companies did that for their employees. I also think that its important for the fathers to get paternity leave. It is just as much their baby as it is the mothers and their help is truly needed. I am currently CF but I would love to work in a place so considerate when i have a kid.
Also - its the same thing as when someone is off on a sick leave or disability. The work that the person does must be split. I would think that if any of us were in any position where we had to take a break from our jobs we wouldn't want to come back to people being bitter because "they had to do our work".....
ITA! I think the US is really backwards in not offering more maternity leave friendly employer/work policies... it already encourages lower middle class and poverty level women to being baby factories just to continue getting the gov't cheese.
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| Posted 12/2/10 11:24 AM |
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rightasrain
LIF Zygote
Member since 7/10 34 total posts
Name:
Kelly Lynn
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Re: curious what you think... i'm sure many would disagree with me
i am allllllll for it. i know i'd want it if i was having a child. i don't begrudge anyone else that luxury!
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| Posted 12/2/10 3:43 PM |
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tourist
Member since 5/05 10425 total posts
Name:
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Re: curious what you think... i'm sure many would disagree with me
I just think of it as a benefit. They are offered to all employees, to use IF & WHEN needed, like berevement days.
We get 3 berevement days for a death in the family, but if you don't need them, you don't use them.
I do however think that for UNPAID, maternity leave, since the company isn't paying that person's salary, temps should be hired during the employees absence. Even if they can't repalce the employee due to expericnce, training etc) they can take care of duties that would free other people up to cover the employee's work.
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| Posted 12/2/10 4:03 PM |
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yankinmanc
Happy Days!
Member since 8/05 18208 total posts
Name:
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Re: curious what you think... i'm sure many would disagree with me
I'm on month 9 of my year long maternity leave, and this is my last month being paid, when I go back to work in March, I will receive a large payout for all of my 5 weeks holiday that I accrued in the meantime. The US does not take good care of their new mothers and babies, its a real shame. I have had 2 kids and have had a year off for each one. I don't see how anyone can begrudge someone maternity leave...whether you are childfree or not.
I also love socialised medicine. So shoot me! I have enjoyed my year of free prescriptions and dental care! Its a shame it has to come to an end.
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| Posted 12/2/10 5:41 PM |
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brownie
Baby #1 is here!
Member since 11/08 13903 total posts
Name:
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Re: curious what you think... i'm sure many would disagree with me
Posted by Ophelia
in switzerland they get 2 years.
and I want to thank whomever it is that posted about how important time to bond is with your newborn.
I think our maternity laws here are terrible. terrible.
I don't think it's cool for people to take advantage or abuse (I think your friends are wrong to be honest for not advising their employers of their intentions to not go back after the paid leave period is over) but regardless of if you are child free or not, you have to see the value of being a mother in society. being able to raise a child, a new citizen of the world, and the value of having that burden just be slightly lessened.
I work for the federal govt. we have NO maternity leave policy. well rather, we don't offer paid maternity leave. you take sick/vacation/advanced leave/unpaid leave under FMLA. that's it.
I returned back to work exactly one year ago today.
my son was just 6 weeks old. 6 WEEKS out of the womb and I was already handing him off to someone else for care.
I cannot express to you how difficult that is. it's not possible.
to be honest, I don't think we value FAMILY all that much. I cannot believe anyone would be denied time to care for a dying parent. I think that is deplorable.
we should be working to make these "benefits' more global. stop taking away family importance.
the importance of being a new, nurturing mother.
the importance of being a dutiful, nurturing wife, daughter, granddaughter.
if you want things to be even, make it to everyone's favor, not to everyone's detriment.
ITA and think its sad that some people think paternity leave is unnecessary.
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| Posted 12/3/10 9:08 AM |
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MrsA1012
love my little girl !
Member since 9/10 5777 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: curious what you think... i'm sure many would disagree with me
Posted by Ophelia
in switzerland they get 2 years.
and I want to thank whomever it is that posted about how important time to bond is with your newborn.
I think our maternity laws here are terrible. terrible.
I don't think it's cool for people to take advantage or abuse (I think your friends are wrong to be honest for not advising their employers of their intentions to not go back after the paid leave period is over) but regardless of if you are child free or not, you have to see the value of being a mother in society. being able to raise a child, a new citizen of the world, and the value of having that burden just be slightly lessened.
I work for the federal govt. we have NO maternity leave policy. well rather, we don't offer paid maternity leave. you take sick/vacation/advanced leave/unpaid leave under FMLA. that's it.
I returned back to work exactly one year ago today.
my son was just 6 weeks old. 6 WEEKS out of the womb and I was already handing him off to someone else for care.
I cannot express to you how difficult that is. it's not possible.
to be honest, I don't think we value FAMILY all that much. I cannot believe anyone would be denied time to care for a dying parent. I think that is deplorable.
we should be working to make these "benefits' more global. stop taking away family importance.
the importance of being a new, nurturing mother.
the importance of being a dutiful, nurturing wife, daughter, granddaughter.
if you want things to be even, make it to everyone's favor, not to everyone's detriment.
ITA 
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| Posted 12/3/10 8:17 PM |
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MrsA1012
love my little girl !
Member since 9/10 5777 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: curious what you think... i'm sure many would disagree with me
Posted by yankinmanc
I'm on month 9 of my year long maternity leave, and this is my last month being paid, when I go back to work in March, I will receive a large payout for all of my 5 weeks holiday that I accrued in the meantime. The US does not take good care of their new mothers and babies, its a real shame. I have had 2 kids and have had a year off for each one. I don't see how anyone can begrudge someone maternity leave...whether you are childfree or not.
I also love socialised medicine. So shoot me! I have enjoyed my year of free prescriptions and dental care! Its a shame it has to come to an end.
What country do you live in? That sounds great.
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| Posted 12/3/10 8:18 PM |
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CAMCaps
Live Laugh Love Run
Member since 6/07 4922 total posts
Name:
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Re: curious what you think... i'm sure many would disagree with me
I work at a place where you get time off for maternity and/or paternity leave, as well as family illnesses. You only get paid for it if you have the time in your sick bank. I am fine with it. Honestly, I think women should get off more time after child birth. I have never had a child, but I know it profoundly changes your life. You need time to heal and then to adjust to your new role.
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| Posted 12/4/10 10:40 PM |
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Jackie24
~We Did it~
Member since 7/06 6718 total posts
Name:
Jackie
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Re: curious what you think... i'm sure many would disagree with me
Posted by dpli
I think ideally, there should be paid family leave for employees that can be used in isolated cases. Some people may use it for maternity leave, some may use it for taking care of a sick family member.
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ITA, my Dad actually does get sick days for things like this.
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| Posted 12/5/10 4:22 PM |
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shadows
LIF Adult
Member since 1/10 4694 total posts
Name:
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Re: curious what you think... i'm sure many would disagree with me
Posted by Jackie24
Posted by dpli
I think ideally, there should be paid family leave for employees that can be used in isolated cases. Some people may use it for maternity leave, some may use it for taking care of a sick family member.
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ITA, my Dad actually does get sick days for things like this.
ITA with this too.
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| Posted 12/5/10 5:48 PM |
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klingklang77
kraftwerk!
Member since 7/06 11487 total posts
Name:
Völlig losgelöst
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Re: curious what you think... i'm sure many would disagree with me
Posted by MissJones
I think if we DIDN'T have paid maternity leave, we'd be backwards as a country in our thinking. As Ophelia posted, many countries in Europe support new mothers MUCH more than America and here we are thinking we are so progressive.
While I agree with that, there is also a stigma that comes along with working and taking care of young children at the same time. I can only speak for Germany, but they have a term here Rabenmutter (translates to raven mother, or bad mother) and that is used for those who choose to work and have young children at the same time. Daycare isn't really popular here and when the child is school age, if you can even find a Kindergarten for them, , school gets out at 12 or 1. So on the flip side if you want to work, that option isn't so easy and is probably easier to achieve when the child gets older.
Three years is good, but if you are career minded, then society kind of isn't so progressive thinking. I don't know, hope that made sense, but this is what I've seen here. At times, I think it can be like the 50s sometimes here.
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| Posted 12/6/10 5:51 AM |
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BunnyWife
Insert Witty Comment Here
Member since 5/07 8274 total posts
Name:
BunnyWife
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Re: curious what you think... i'm sure many would disagree with me
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by MissJones
I think if we DIDN'T have paid maternity leave, we'd be backwards as a country in our thinking. As Ophelia posted, many countries in Europe support new mothers MUCH more than America and here we are thinking we are so progressive.
While I agree with that, there is also a stigma that comes along with working and taking care of young children at the same time. I can only speak for Germany, but they have a term here Rabenmutter (translates to raven mother, or bad mother) and that is used for those who choose to work and have young children at the same time. Daycare isn't really popular here and when the child is school age, if you can even find a Kindergarten for them, , school gets out at 12 or 1. So on the flip side if you want to work, that option isn't so easy and is probably easier to achieve when the child gets older.
Three years is good, but if you are career minded, then society kind of isn't so progressive thinking. I don't know, hope that made sense, but this is what I've seen here. At times, I think it can be like the 50s sometimes here.
That is very interesting. It's hard to believe that Germany, the richest country in Europe, would have that sort of standard.
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| Posted 12/8/10 10:23 AM |
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Lola0703
LIF Adolescent
Member since 4/07 677 total posts
Name:
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Re: curious what you think... i'm sure many would disagree with me
Posted by brownie
Posted by Ophelia
in switzerland they get 2 years.
and I want to thank whomever it is that posted about how important time to bond is with your newborn.
I think our maternity laws here are terrible. terrible.
I don't think it's cool for people to take advantage or abuse (I think your friends are wrong to be honest for not advising their employers of their intentions to not go back after the paid leave period is over) but regardless of if you are child free or not, you have to see the value of being a mother in society. being able to raise a child, a new citizen of the world, and the value of having that burden just be slightly lessened.
I work for the federal govt. we have NO maternity leave policy. well rather, we don't offer paid maternity leave. you take sick/vacation/advanced leave/unpaid leave under FMLA. that's it.
I returned back to work exactly one year ago today.
my son was just 6 weeks old. 6 WEEKS out of the womb and I was already handing him off to someone else for care.
I cannot express to you how difficult that is. it's not possible.
to be honest, I don't think we value FAMILY all that much. I cannot believe anyone would be denied time to care for a dying parent. I think that is deplorable.
we should be working to make these "benefits' more global. stop taking away family importance.
the importance of being a new, nurturing mother.
the importance of being a dutiful, nurturing wife, daughter, granddaughter.
if you want things to be even, make it to everyone's favor, not to everyone's detriment.
ITA and think its sad that some people think paternity leave is unnecessary.
I totally agree!!!
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| Posted 12/10/10 9:53 AM |
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Kara
Now Zagat Rated!
Member since 3/07 13217 total posts
Name:
They call me "Tater Salad"
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Re: curious what you think... i'm sure many would disagree with me
I think parental leave for mothers and fathers is a wonderful benefit and I wish more companies offered it. I can't imagine how difficult it would be to work full time and have a newborn. I can't imagine how difficult it would be to afford a child without some sort of leave policy. I can't imagine how painful it would be to have to leave a two-week old baby and return to work because you can't afford to stay home and care for him or her. I also can't imagine begrudging a new parent leave to bond with their child just because I don't get to take 4 months off for the hell of it. How about this -- You can take 4 months off, but you MUST not go away on vacation and you MUST get up every 2-3 hours, 24 hours a day, 7-days per week for those four months and at least 2-3 months after that.
Seriously, I have way, way better things to be offended or upset about that this doesn't even remotely come close to being on my radar.
I wish more companies were even more generous with their paid maternity leave. I think parental leave for dads is awesome, too. A new baby is a ridiculous amount of work and responsibility. Giving parents the time they need to care for their children is the decent thing to do. And let's face it, it's not like people are having children just to get paid time off.
And this is coming from someone who is childless by choice. You cannot, on any level, compare "vacation" with the first few months of a newborn's life.
ETA -- Just b/c I don't have children doesn't make children any less important. Family -- of whatever size - is important. I cannot fathom how someone would think maternity leave or paternity leave is someone unfair to those of us who don't have children. Seriously. This absolutely boggles my mind.
Message edited 12/10/2010 5:31:47 PM.
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| Posted 12/10/10 5:10 PM |
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Kara
Now Zagat Rated!
Member since 3/07 13217 total posts
Name:
They call me "Tater Salad"
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Re: curious what you think... i'm sure many would disagree with me
One final thought, less about this topic and more about the general parent and child bashing that crops up on this board from time to time...
When we are elderly, today's children are the ones who are going to be running our government, our schools, our hospitals, law enforcement, our justice system, and our healthcare system. They are going to be our doctors, lawyers, nurses, teachers, and soldiers. They are going to be our representatives and senators, our judges, our police force, our governors, and our President. Whether one has children or not, every member of society should care about our country's children and the people who are raising them and educating them. You may think it's just a cheesey line, but they are our future - and they are incredibly, incredibly important.
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| Posted 12/10/10 5:31 PM |
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Mrs213
????????
Member since 2/09 18986 total posts
Name:
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Re: curious what you think... i'm sure many would disagree with me
I don't know who you are working for but I don't know anyone who gets 4 months paid. Where I work its 6 weeks - 8 weeks if you have a c-section. Most take an additional 4 weeks but that is unpaid under the FMLA
And to answer the question I think everyone should get some paid maternity leave...
edited because I read through and saw where u work - I think that is an exception how much time they get def not the norm. I can see your opinion about what they are doing and I've known people have done the same. I guess the felling is why not take the money?? Kwim?
Message edited 12/10/2010 11:50:39 PM.
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| Posted 12/10/10 11:45 PM |
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ReddHeadd
LIF Infant
Member since 9/10 104 total posts
Name:
Jessica
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Re: curious what you think... i'm sure many would disagree with me
I'm trying to save all my sick and vacation time for when we are ready to have children. That way I won't have to take any unpaid leave time.
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| Posted 12/11/10 9:46 PM |
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