krashnburn
I am Batman!
Member since 5/05 4093 total posts
Name: I'm Batman, I tell you!
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Cute FWD I got today
Anonymous 2nd grade teacher > > I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. > > I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I > know is the one I saw in my own second-grade classroom > a few years back. > > When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always > have a few sessions with my students. It helps them > get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty > tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, > pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. > > And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations > on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk > about it, they're welcome. > > Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, > very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to > the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her > sweater. > > She holds up a snapshot of an infant. "This is Luke, > my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his > birthday." > > "First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their > love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and > Luke grew in there. > > He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord." > > She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and > I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder > with me. The kids are watching her in amazement. > > "Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying > and going, 'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!' Erica puts a hand behind > her back and groans. "She walked around the house for, > like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' Now this kid is doing a > hysterical duck walk and groaning. > > "My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, > but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the > Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like > this." Then Erica lies down with her back against the > wall. > > "And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept > in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up > and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!" This > kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming > water flowing away. It was too much! > > "Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' > > and 'breathe, breathe. They started counting, but > never even got past ten. > > Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was > covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from > Mom's play-center, so there must be a lot of toys > inside there." > > Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and > returned to her seat. > > I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, > when it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, > just in case another "Middle Wife" comes along.
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