Daycare and Caiden

I don't know what to do??? My DH has to go already to pick up Caiden because of his behavior. They called us yesterday afternoon too. He's spitting, kicking, hitting, yelling at his teachers. He already acted up when I dropped him off and I was getting Connor settled in. I was able to calm him down and he seemed ok. I guess I was wrong. The owners are not happy. They told us that he can't be there if he's going to act like that. He's going to get kicked out of daycare. I can't afford anywhere else? He's been going there since he was 6 weeks old. I thought he was going to be good today because he was punished all night last night. What's going on with my son? I'm sure they're quick to call us to pick him up because it's easier for them. I think they need to try somewhat with him, no? I don't know what to do anymore. Being punished doesn't seem to work either. What's left? Between this and my DH being at of work I'm so stressed out! So much for a Merry Christmas!

Message edited 12/22/2006 9:26:14 AM.

Re: Daycare and Caiden

I have no clue here as my son is only 4 months old...but it sounds like he might be picking up on your stress and acting out. Can you spend some one on one time w/him and try to keep things mellow around him? How about rewards for positive behavior? Im sorry you're going thru this it sounds like this is the last thing you need.

Re: Daycare and Caiden

Sorry Melissa!! As if things aren't bad enough for you right now!

A few things that came to mind...
Have you tried a reward system with him? Like a sticker chart? Is he possibly acting out because of the "pressure" at home? Are you and DH arguing in front of him? Is he upset because Daddy stays home with Connor? Do his caregivers have any suggestions (other than to pick him up when he's acting out!?)?

He's not quite 3 but I know he's a smart kid! Have you tried talking to him and asking him what's going on. Not *why* (because they'll never answer "why" at this age!! ), but maybe he can tell you how he's feeling.

Re: Daycare and Caiden

A reward system may work. He's old enough to understand what its all about. If you reward him for positive behavior with some small treats that he loves...this may do the trick.
Good luck!

Re: Daycare and Caiden

I think it is a combination of things. I am sure he feels the stresses you have been feeling, he also now has to share his time his new brother and I think is seeking attention. He knows that if acts up enough he will get sent home. When he gets home he gets to spend time with mom or dad. I would also speak to daycare and see if they have any suggestions.
I know if he got kicked out it would be very difficult for you to find another reasonable place, but maybe this is a blessing in disguise? Maybe you could keep Caiden out of daycare and DH can watch him until he finds a jobs. You would be saving a lot of money and Caiden would be getting that one on one time that he might need. I would also try for both you and DH to try to have a "date" with Caiden either together or sperately and go do something that he really enjoys and I am sure anything at this age will make him happy.

Re: Daycare and Caiden

I'm for positive reinforcement of good behavior. Can you sit with him with just mommy and Caiden time and ask him "how do you feel?" Maybe he's sad because he feels that he doesn't have the same place in the family or maybe he feels bad that mommy stays home with the new baby and he has to go to daycare. It's really a guess that only he knows.

I think starting with asking is a good place... Good luck - it must be hard.