daycare drama - one mad momma (me) vent/self loathing and finally Question (what next?) ---- They fired her

I feel like such an idiot.
So stupid so very stupid.

I just made a call to AJ’s daycare. I saw a teacher sternly speak to a child, then she grabbed a child by both arms and yanked her up into her arms. She turned around to see me shocked looking through the window and started to pat her back as if she was soothing the child.

ETA: from her stance, face and motion of her shoulders as she spoke to the child, this teacher was Pizzed OFF! and the way she yanked that kid up. ugh

I saw red

If that had been MY child I’d have walked in there demanded she walk out with me and let her have it. Instead I did nothing.

AJ waltzes in all happy camper with her strawberries saying “Ms XX” (the teacher in question) “look Sta’berries”


What can I do?
NOTHING

I walked back to the front and ask for the director who’s not in yet so I’ll call back at 9. The front lady (sort of the asst director) lives in my small neighborhood asks if she can help. Nope, I’m too mad.

I walk outside and see AJ’s teacher and asks her if she’s ever seen Ms XX do this? “No never in my class” Ms XX is AJ’s room assistant. She spends all day with my daughter.

I start to drive to work and it sinks in. I’m beyond mad I’m LIVID.

Rapid fire brain thoughts:
Small round bruises on AJ, never more than one or two here and there – was it kids or was it her?
Will I always second guess this now?
She’s been in trouble before and I defended her!
Doesn’t she know she has a camera on her, or is she staying out of range?
Am I missing something to justify what happened?
Its there EVER justification?
Didn’t they say they left the kids alone if they were having a bad moment?
Its only before care, what’s so danged important that she needed to be spoken to that way (the girl was just pouting and obviously being mad but otherwise standing still).
What about the other woman in the room? Why didn’t she say anything?
How often does this happen?
What happened when the state was involved the first time she was complained about?

Then the kicker
What if it had been AJ?!

I picked up the phone and called back the school and spoke to the front lady. Told her what happened and I told her I’d have hunted that woman down if it had been my child. Yeah, probably not the best terms to use. They remove the teacher from the room. Director will call me at 9am.

9am: I call the director. She says she has AJ’s teacher in her room. Who cares? They never spoke badly of her before with the last complaint what makes you think they will now? So they let her go from the room and its just me at the director. I gave her the time of the instance so she can look it up on video.

But frankly.. I had to say .. I DEFENDED her! I supported this woman. I BACKED HER UP before any one else called to complain. She has betrayed that trust and I saw it with my own two eyes. You can talk anything away but I no longer trust her. She may be fine 80% of the time but AJ’s getting to the age where she’s getting defiant. How long until AJ is that little girl?



Director had to agree. Said that two people saying the same thing can not be tolerated. I know they are short handed. I know AJ loves this teacher but I have to think I’m doing the right thing, right?

Should I demand that this teacher be given a warning and her file permanently documented?

She’s going to look at the tapes (which she KNOWS aren’t helpful since they are slightly out of focus and also jumpy in time) then call me back.

Did I do the right thing?
What do I do now?




ETA: they fired her.. Post around 442pm

Message edited 4/4/2011 4:41:19 PM.

Re: daycare drama - one mad momma (me) vent/self loathing and finally Question (what next?)

I don't have a child in daycare and never have so maybe my opinion doesn't count for much but, if it were me, after all I have seen you post, I would find a new daycare ASAP and my child would be out of there for good. I wouldn't give it a second thought.

I would also ask your DD how this teacher and any other has handled her in the past. In case she has been aggresssive with her you want her to know that is NOT ok for the future. And, that she needs to tell you if this happens asap.

I am so sorry you are dealing with this - I can't imagine

Message edited 4/4/2011 11:01:30 AM.

Re: daycare drama - one mad momma (me) vent/self loathing and finally Question (what next?)

Dropping AJ off in the morning is usually challanging. She won't go in the room until she sees this teacher. She LOVES this teacher. If the teacher isn't in the room she wants us to find her and she'll hold this teacher's had all the way back to class and wave good bye to us "go momma's car" and even "go away, work, ok? bubye"

*sigh*

You have any idea how hard its been to get her to this stage?

But I just can't let what I saw go unsaid. I hope that child's mother would do the same if she saw it happen to AJ.

Re: daycare drama - one mad momma (me) vent/self loathing and finally Question (what next?)

I couldn't let that go nor would I want to. The teacher goes or we go.

When you have your child in day care, trust is just so important and anything that tarnishes that trust cannot be tolerated. For this to work, I need to be 100% confident that my kids are safe. If I don't feel confident, then I have to find another arrangement or quit my job. That's it.

Re: daycare drama - one mad momma (me) vent/self loathing and finally Question (what next?)

Re: daycare drama - one mad momma (me) vent/self loathing and finally Question (what next?)

You absolutely did the right thing by reporting her to the director. My blood is boiling just reading this. Please keep us updated as to what happens.

Re: daycare drama - one mad momma (me) vent/self loathing and finally Question (what next?) ---- They fired her

The director called me back.

The film was very damaging. She had no defense. This is her second complaint. The first one, the video didn't back it up. This one however, was just unnerving (says the director) the little girl in question had a record of acting up with Ms XX so this was her predisposition to handle her. Unacceptable. There was a another teacher in the room who was also spoken to for ALLOWING this to go unreported. She said "She always did that, that's just how she handles her" That teacher got a warning. It is NOT acceptable.

Minimum state requirements and the school handbook were all well out of reach with how she treated this child.

Therefore.. she was released.

A note will go out saying she has chosen another path. No one will be notified of why. I wonder if they'll even tell that child's parent what happened.

Re: daycare drama - one mad momma (me) vent/self loathing and finally Question (what next?) ---- They fired her

You did good veronica!!!!!

Im so happy action was taken and that teacher is gone!!!

Re: daycare drama - one mad momma (me) vent/self loathing and finally Question (what next?) ---- They fired her

I'd be sick to my stomach if witnessed that. I felt you did the right thing even before they had the proof on video.

That poor child. That poor child's parents...to not know what was happening to their child. Ugh.

Re: daycare drama - one mad momma (me) vent/self loathing and finally Question (what next?) ---- They fired her

I am just as livid at the second teacher. They have more than one person in a room so that this type of thing doesn't happen. I would fire her too, that is just unacceptable.

Glad you went with you gut but this kils me.

Re: daycare drama - one mad momma (me) vent/self loathing and finally Question (what next?) ---- They fired her

To be fair.. the other teacher (assistant really not a teacher) is new. Not new, new, new but new enough she thought this was acceptable and didn't know if she'd get in trouble for reporting it since Ms XX has been on board since day one, etc. She was intimidated.

Still, she was reprimanded for not having common sense basically.

Hopefully everyone there will now know what is and is NOT acceptable!

Re: daycare drama - one mad momma (me) vent/self loathing and finally Question (what next?) ---- They fired her

im so glad you called that they did the right thing.