dealing w/non pregnant/childless friends advice

So I have a very good friend that I know thinks she’s helping me; but is CONSTANTLY giving me advice or her opinion on what I should/shouldn’t do. Little things like when I told her I was doing Yoga; she was like how there are certain moves I shouldn’t be doing. I know…that’s why I’m doing prenatal yoga. Or about eating franks and premade salads at bbq’s ( I eat franks steaming hot & freshly made; but not ones that have been sitting out on a table for several hours). I avoid them but she was like to go ahead and eat them because she’s seen plenty of pregnant women eating at bqq’s. Or when I told her my OB said an average weight gain of 30lbs and she said that was too much; that she thought friends of hers that had babies before only gained 15-25lbs. And that she wouldn’t let herself go over 20. My OB and even the books I've read say 1-2 lb a week between the 2nd & 3rd trimesters...that's over 28lbs right there @ 1lb a week. No i'm not trying to gain 35lbs; but I'm not going to beat myself up if i gain 28-30.

It’s just little things constantly. And it’s more annoying that she’s so strong in her opinion but doesn’t have any experience with pregnancy to even back up what she’s saying.

Sorry-just need to vent because this is a very close friend of mine; and I don’t want to say anything directly to her.

dealing w/non pregnant/childless friends advice

You'd better not even beat yourself up if you gain 40 lbs! Your body does what it needs to do to support the growing baby. All these guidelines and numbers are theoretical. If you gain 85 lbs, so be it. I wouldn't fret the weight thing, unless you find out later you have GD.

As far as your friend goes, I'd just smile and nod and thank her for all her advice (but probably roll my eyes behind her back). She sounds like she means well, but ugh how annoying. Sounds like she may be just a tiny bit jealous you're experiencing this without her and wants to be as involved as possible. Hope she knows how to change diapers!

Re: dealing w/non pregnant/childless friends advice

dealing w/non pregnant/childless friends advice

Every time I ask to make sure my meat is well done or choose not to eat something that has feta cheese in it, someone in my family always goes on a rant about how years ago pregnant women ate anything they wanted with no restrictions, smoked, and drank alcohol and babies were just fine... blah, blah, blah... or cousins who have been pregnant will tell me about what they did or didn't do and what i should or should or shouldn't do. people have their opinions, it doesn't really bother me

If I were you i'd just smile and let it go. it's not worth an argument or hurt feelings, IMO

Message edited 7/6/2012 10:25:05 AM.

dealing w/non pregnant/childless friends advice

It sounds like shes just trying to be helpful. I would just tell her thanks for the advice and walk away. If its really annoying you just tell her that you've asked your OB and they said what you're doing is fine. Every pregnancy is different.