DH and I differing

ahhh...well I havent posted much about whats going on with me, cause basically Nothing is going on. Our cycle was cancelled due to another cyst ( I offically HATE CLOMID!)

Well we are talkign about if finacially we will just move on to IVF in April or not.

BUT this month we were given the option of a natural IUI.

To be honest, Im nto feeling it. I just want a break and after last months devestation I need one. Problem is it seems DH doesnt. He asks me twice a day if I tested ( OPK) and I find myself getting MAD....Telling him" I WILL TELL YOU WHEN I get a +" ....and I tried a few times to discuss with him how I dont want to do the IUI or really even try naturally this month. I feel like no expectations for a few weeks of my life is what I need right now.

But he doesnt seem to hear me at all.

Then I feel bad....Like Im not " on board" .

Ugh...any advice on how to help him understand?

p.s His urologist appointment is tommorow...getting nervous about that.

Re: DH and I differing

It is so hard when you arent on the same page at the same time. Isnt it ironic how the timing is never right. For some reason I feel really good about you getting the grant from NSUH.

I hope that you and DH can talk and come to some agreement.

Re: DH and I differing

I hear ya! I don't think men truly understand what goes into this whole fertility process. EAch month it is my body that has chemical horomones in it. It is me who has night sweats and awful emotional out bursts on clomid. It is me who has to pee on a stick several times a week and anxiously await a +. It is me who goes to the drs. office at least 5 times a month and has a vaginal ultraound done. (Oh the fun) It is me who has more blood drawn then a vampire. It is my boobs that are sore after progesterone suppositories! It is me who wears a panty-liner or pad for most of the month.

And it is me who cries at night for the child that I want so badly and cannot seem to have.

They just don't get it!

Good Luck!

Re: DH and I differing

Re: DH and I differing

Posted by BigB

I hear ya! I don't think men truly understand what goes into this whole fertility process. EAch month it is my body that has chemical horomones in it. It is me who has night sweats and awful emotional out bursts on clomid. It is me who has to pee on a stick several times a week and anxiously await a +. It is me who goes to the drs. office at least 5 times a month and has a vaginal ultraound done. (Oh the fun) It is me who has more blood drawn then a vampire. It is my boobs that are sore after progesterone suppositories! It is me who wears a panty-liner or pad for most of the month.

And it is me who cries at night for the child that I want so badly and cannot seem to have.

They just don't get it!

Good Luck!

Re: DH and I differing

Donna just hang in there, good things come to those who wait,
and mixed emotions are very normal too.

Re: DH and I differing

Donna I am so sorry for what you are going through!!!

Always know we are here for you if you need anything!!

Re: DH and I differing

Donna I know what you mean -- lately it is me who is pushing and DH who is pretending nothing is wrong. It is so frustrating...hang in there and hopefully he will be patient and things will get better.

Re: DH and I differing

Donna,

I know how frustrating this is for you and I give you lots of credit for knowing what is right for YOU!!

For the last year I felt like DH thought the infertility was all in my head. It wasn't until he sat in on the appointment at the RE that it seemed to dawn on him what I'm going through.

It's not to say this process isn't weighing on our DH's too, it's just not as consistently on their minds as it is ours and they don't have constant physical reminders of it.

I don't think DH looks at his penis and thinks "I wonder if we're pregnant this month?" While I spend time poking my own boobs, checking my cervix, peeing in cups and staring at my urine.

I wish I had an easy fix for you, but it's such a tough situation. I hope you find solution that will satisfy you both.

Re: DH and I differing

Re: DH and I differing

Most men just don't get it. My DH was blessed with his mother's personality and is actually very caring and supportive but we still have our moments...

Need I explain to him one more time about the intricacies of the human reproductive/hormone system? Did he even take Biology?

As far as "being there for me" he actually comes to as many doctor's appts as he can. When my appts. landed on Saturdays he has come (all except the day we were moving) and I think it helped for him to be in the waiting room, then come in for the sonogram and watch me get my blood drawn.

I suspect that with most men the attitude comes from the fact that they can't "fix" the situation. Men aren't wired to hear venting. Growing up in an all male household I learned two things... if we vent they think we want them to fix the problem and men get very uncomfortable when they can't fix things... they are programmed not to talk about a situation but to "just do it" and when it's something beyond their control they just check out or act strange.

Re: DH and I differing

I am so sorry you are dealing with this right now. Have you just sat down and talked to him about your wanting to take a break? Or that you need to take a break? I'm just at the beginning of this process, and have no idea how I would even handle this situation.

Lots of luck