did anyone see this BBC article with an excerpt on CIO in an upcoming baby book? *WARNING: this article is most certainly against CIO (well, the author is) so if you don't care to read it...

as a mom dealing with a baby who still wakes up, I found this one sided argument interesting it's just serving to bolster my desire to not have to resort to CIO but the wake ups are DRAINING at times.

Re: did anyone see this BBC article with an excerpt on CIO in an upcoming baby book? *WARNING: this article is most certainly against CIO (well, the author is) so if you don't care to read it...

There is no real quantifiable way to prove that CIO is good or bad for a baby. Parents should just do what they feel is right. JMHO, as a mother who didn't/ and does not do CIO. My son also has a language delay... He did cry a lot though.

Re: did anyone see this BBC article with an excerpt on CIO in an upcoming baby book? *WARNING: this article is most certainly against CIO (well, the author is) so if you don't care to read it...

thanks for sharing! just sent it to DH

Re: did anyone see this BBC article with an excerpt on CIO in an upcoming baby book? *WARNING: this article is most certainly against CIO (well, the author is) so if you don't care to read it...

Posted by KerriSteve

There is no real quantifiable way to prove that CIO is good or bad for a baby. Parents should just do what they feel is right. JMHO, as a mother who didn't/ and does not do CIO. My son also has a language delay... He did cry a lot though.

Re: did anyone see this BBC article with an excerpt on CIO in an upcoming baby book? *WARNING: this article is most certainly against CIO (well, the author is) so if you don't care to read it...

Eh, there will be evidence against and evidence for - at the end of the day, I don't truly believe that CIO, in moderation, will "harm" your baby. Heck, I know for a fact that I was allowed to CIO, and I consider myself fairly well-adjusted

At the end of the day, I think it's a simple case of different parenting styles, and different temperments. What may work for one child, won't for another. What may be a priority for one parent (to teach your child self-soothing techniques) may be superceded by another (attachment parenting).

A perfect example is my family. Alex was a MUCH MUCH MUCH different child than Yael. No amount of sleep training worked, as a full-time attorney I could not withstand the 3-5 interval wake up calls in the night until she was a year and a half. With her, we allowed her to CIO, and it worked like a charm - within 4 nights she was sleeping 12 hours a night and has been ever since.

Yael, however, is so easy - a sweet, laid back disposition. I never really had to CIO with her because she was perfectly amenable to sleep training and falling asleep on her own. By 5 weeks old, she was sleeping 10+ hours a night!

My theory is this - as long as you aren't physically or mentally abusing your child, then you do what's best for your family, your life, and your child.

Re: did anyone see this BBC article with an excerpt on CIO in an upcoming baby book? *WARNING: this article is most certainly against CIO (well, the author is) so if you don't care to read it...

Thanks for posting this

Re: did anyone see this BBC article with an excerpt on CIO in an upcoming baby book? *WARNING: this article is most certainly against CIO (well, the author is) so if you don't care to read it...

Having a good friend who has adopted 3 special needs babies from foreign countries, I can wholeheartedly agree that allowing a baby to cry for long periods of time, repeatedly can be toxic and cause severe long-term damage to babies.

That being said, I think we need to differentiate between CIO, which lasts for a few days to a week, and is limited to crying in specific cases of nighttime wakings, and those instances where a baby's cries are consistently & repeated ignored for long periods of time in situations that don't just involve nighttime wakings, but where their needs are not met overall.

Re: did anyone see this BBC article with an excerpt on CIO in an upcoming baby book? *WARNING: this article is most certainly against CIO (well, the author is) so if you don't care to read it...

I think it is definitely an interesting article. I am a CIO mom, but I am always willing to read about other information.

I would be interested to find out what age they are talking about. If they are talking about babies under 6 months, or over that age since 6 months is when a lot of people recommend you start CIO.

And it also talks about uding CIO for extended periods of time. I know that for most people it only lasts a couple nights before the child is not crying anymore. Are we talking about weeks and weeks of CIO? If that's the case, even as a CIO mom, I would think there needs to be a different solution.

One other thing was it mentioned that you set different expectations for night time. It said that you are different at night, don't pick them up, don't play with them. I imagine that if you go in and are not picking up your child, they are going to cry anyway. That line had me confused because how can you go into their room and not pick them up and not have them cry?

Re: did anyone see this BBC article with an excerpt on CIO in an upcoming baby book? *WARNING: this article is most certainly against CIO (well, the author is) so if you don't care to read it...

Interesting article. We don't do full out CIO and actually I rarely let her cry anymore. I also have read articles on "controlled crying". Cortisol is a natural steroid that builds in the body when stressed. I've read studies that suggest a baby needs to cry/whine/fuss at night to release cortisol in order to relax..... Makes sense though that too much crying will lead to a build up.

We do modified ferber and always went into the room every 2-3 minutes and never let her get hysterical.......

Re: did anyone see this BBC article with an excerpt on CIO in an upcoming baby book? *WARNING: this article is most certainly against CIO (well, the author is) so if you don't care to read it...

Re: did anyone see this BBC article with an excerpt on CIO in an upcoming baby book? *WARNING: this article is most certainly against CIO (well, the author is) so if you don't care to read it...

Posted by Ophelia

Posted by KerriSteve

There is no real quantifiable way to prove that CIO is good or bad for a baby. Parents should just do what they feel is right. JMHO, as a mother who didn't/ and does not do CIO. My son also has a language delay... He did cry a lot though.

I think that quantifying levels of cortisol is valid. of course, that would also vary from baby to baby and ALL babies cry...it's unavoidable.

I know as I type this that it's a stupid thing to say, but I didn't post this to debate with moms who DO IT.

I didn't write the article. I don't argue the points. I just read it and put it on here for others to read and make their own decision.

Re: did anyone see this BBC article with an excerpt on CIO in an upcoming baby book? *WARNING: this article is most certainly against CIO (well, the author is) so if you don't care to read it...

Oh good Lord, I am waiting for the article to open and all I see is "Crying it out harms baby brains" Give me a friggin break. My kid cried for TWO nights. TWO.NIGHTS. I did not "harm his brain" I did not neglect him. I am not cruel. I let him cry for TWO STINKING NIGHTS and now he sleeps for 12 hours straight.

I will read this article once it opens but people need to do what is right for their own child. I do not judge anyone who cannot do CIO. That's fine for you. But these damn articles that are so full of judgement and say that I have harmed my child get me so damn pisssed off.

Message edited 4/30/2010 4:44:52 PM.

Re: did anyone see this BBC article with an excerpt on CIO in an upcoming baby book? *WARNING: this article is most certainly against CIO (well, the author is) so if you don't care to read it...

Posted by Diana1215

Oh good Lord, I am waiting for the article to open and all I see is "Crying it out harms baby brains" Give me a friggin break. My kid cried for TWO nights. TWO.NIGHTS. I did not "harm his brain" I did not neglect him. I am not cruel. I let him cry for TWO STINKING NIGHTS and now he sleeps for 12 hours straight.

I will read this article once it opens but people need to do what is right for their own child. I do not judge anyone who cannot do CIO. That's fine for you. But these damn articles that are so full of judgement and say that I have harmed my child get me so damn pisssed off.

Re: did anyone see this BBC article with an excerpt on CIO in an upcoming baby book? *WARNING: this article is most certainly against CIO (well, the author is) so if you don't care to read it...

Posted by Ophelia

Posted by Diana1215

Oh good Lord, I am waiting for the article to open and all I see is "Crying it out harms baby brains" Give me a friggin break. My kid cried for TWO nights. TWO.NIGHTS. I did not "harm his brain" I did not neglect him. I am not cruel. I let him cry for TWO STINKING NIGHTS and now he sleeps for 12 hours straight.

I will read this article once it opens but people need to do what is right for their own child. I do not judge anyone who cannot do CIO. That's fine for you. But these damn articles that are so full of judgement and say that I have harmed my child get me so damn pisssed off.

Diana, I don't read the article as full of judgement. I read it as a scientific experiment. I don't ready anyplace where it says that CIO is cruel.

this is exactly what I wanted to avoid. why I put a disclaimer in the Post Subject.

we are ALL going to do things differently at times. but this website is for exchange of information. we should be able to exchange information that may be contrary to what someone else does WITHOUT having to have it chalked up to being judgmental. b/c that is NOT what it is. at all.

Re: did anyone see this BBC article with an excerpt on CIO in an upcoming baby book? *WARNING: this article is most certainly against CIO (well, the author is) so if you don't care to read it...

Re: did anyone see this BBC article with an excerpt on CIO in an upcoming baby book? *WARNING: this article is most certainly against CIO (well, the author is) so if you don't care to read it...

I wish they were more specific about ages. We didn't really have to use CIO, DD has always been a good sleeper and self soother. A few times when she was clearly exhausted and needed to sleep, she cried a bit but then fell right to sleep. I wouldn't have tried that before she was at least 4 months old.

Re: did anyone see this BBC article with an excerpt on CIO in an upcoming baby book? *WARNING: this article is most certainly against CIO (well, the author is) so if you don't care to read it...

Posted by Ophelia

Posted by Diana1215


Jess, I didn't read it yet i am now outside with the boys but the heading is full of judgement!

I see what you are saying. the 'harms babies brains' is in quotes, paraphrasing what they think the article says.

it DOES talk about the potential for certain things to be harmful IF THEY EXIST but no one knows for sure.

the title of the article is a bit biased and I think meant to pull you in...but the tone of the information is slightly more balanced I think.

Message edited 4/30/2010 5:12:14 PM.

Re: did anyone see this BBC article with an excerpt on CIO in an upcoming baby book? *WARNING: this article is most certainly against CIO (well, the author is) so if you don't care to read it...

Re: did anyone see this BBC article with an excerpt on CIO in an upcoming baby book? *WARNING: this article is most certainly against CIO (well, the author is) so if you don't care to read it...

Re: did anyone see this BBC article with an excerpt on CIO in an upcoming baby book? *WARNING: this article is most certainly against CIO (well, the author is) so if you don't care to read it...

Posted by Ophelia

Posted by Diana1215


Personally, I think it's all BS. I cannot function on two hours a night of sleep. I have another toddler to take care of from 6am until 8pm. Nonstop. If I worked full time I'm sure I would feel the same way. Teaching your child how to soothe themselves back to sleep is not neglect. It is not abuse. It is not harming their brains. It's a choice that some parents choose to make.

I think this is the crux of it....we need to take ownership for our decisions..read what's out there and decide if it rings true or not.

I am not opposed to spankings and Luce will more than likely feel the heat of my hand on his bum at some point in his life. there are people that would think I was terrible for "abusing" my child. that's A-ok by me. or when I "force fed" my niece I will do that with Luce too. but I am confident that no matter what someone else believes *I* don't believe it's harmful. and to the contrary, I believe what I do is only for the betterment of my son and my family.

I certainly don't believe that anyone who does CIO would do it if they believed it was harmful. I don't think anyone on these boards would put themselves over their children to their detriment. I truly don't. I hope that my posting this (or anything else "controversial") gives that impression. It is only to promote different ideas and discussions and trying to find both like minded and contrarily (sp ) minded people out there who can talk about things.

anyway, it's friday. I feel badly b/c I'll have to leave this discussion for the weekend. but I just wanted to put this out there.

Re: did anyone see this BBC article with an excerpt on CIO in an upcoming baby book? *WARNING: this article is most certainly against CIO (well, the author is) so if you don't care to read it...

Re: did anyone see this BBC article with an excerpt on CIO in an upcoming baby book? *WARNING: this article is most certainly against CIO (well, the author is) so if you don't care to read it...

Posted by Ophelia

Posted by Diana1215

Oh good Lord, I am waiting for the article to open and all I see is "Crying it out harms baby brains" Give me a friggin break. My kid cried for TWO nights. TWO.NIGHTS. I did not "harm his brain" I did not neglect him. I am not cruel. I let him cry for TWO STINKING NIGHTS and now he sleeps for 12 hours straight.

I will read this article once it opens but people need to do what is right for their own child. I do not judge anyone who cannot do CIO. That's fine for you. But these damn articles that are so full of judgement and say that I have harmed my child get me so damn pisssed off.

Diana, I don't read the article as full of judgement. I read it as a scientific experiment. I don't ready anyplace where it says that CIO is cruel.

this is exactly what I wanted to avoid. why I put a disclaimer in the Post Subject.

we are ALL going to do things differently at times. but this website is for exchange of information. we should be able to exchange information that may be contrary to what someone else does WITHOUT having to have it chalked up to being judgmental. b/c that is NOT what it is. at all.

Re: did anyone see this BBC article with an excerpt on CIO in an upcoming baby book? *WARNING: this article is most certainly against CIO (well, the author is) so if you don't care to read it...

Posted by Bxgell2

Eh, there will be evidence against and evidence for - at the end of the day, I don't truly believe that CIO, in moderation, will "harm" your baby. Heck, I know for a fact that I was allowed to CIO, and I consider myself fairly well-adjusted

At the end of the day, I think it's a simple case of different parenting styles, and different temperments. What may work for one child, won't for another. What may be a priority for one parent (to teach your child self-soothing techniques) may be superceded by another (attachment parenting).

A perfect example is my family. Alex was a MUCH MUCH MUCH different child than Yael. No amount of sleep training worked, as a full-time attorney I could not withstand the 3-5 interval wake up calls in the night until she was a year and a half. With her, we allowed her to CIO, and it worked like a charm - within 4 nights she was sleeping 12 hours a night and has been ever since.

Yael, however, is so easy - a sweet, laid back disposition. I never really had to CIO with her because she was perfectly amenable to sleep training and falling asleep on her own. By 5 weeks old, she was sleeping 10+ hours a night!

My theory is this - as long as you aren't physically or mentally abusing your child, then you do what's best for your family, your life, and your child.