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KateDevine
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Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
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Do I have the right to be annoyed? (DH Vent)
DH works a rotating schedule, which has been nice since I have been home b/c we should have family time together during the week.
Except, normally between sleeping late and working on his car it is like 8pm before he has time to do anything with me and DS and DS starts to meltdown around then.
So last night his friend called him and asked him to come and lay sod with him and he'd pay him $50. Normally, I'd be all for it, BUT he lives on Staten Island, so basically the $50 will cover his gas and tolls But DH says yes. Then he proceeds to tell me that he is going to do a bunch of other stuff while he is there so he doesn't hit rush hour traffic home and will be home late. Now, I'm annoyed, yesterday we had agreed that we would go to Port Jeff to walk around and have dinner, but that plan goes out the window.
Now, the same friend's kid turned four a couple of weeks ago, and his birthday party is on SI on Saturday. DH has to work in Brooklyn til 5pm, SOOO we had agreed it would be too much to go to the party, but NOW Dh is going!!
Do I have a right to be annoyed? I completely understand he needs downtime, but I NEVER get any.
Well, at least I am now planning on going to my parents in Montauk on Saturday, and I can bring my laundry since that was my big plan today so DH could watch DS and I didn't have to lug him to the laundomat....GRRR
And DH's whole point is that I have to be more independant, but that is hard when we are trying to not spend a lot of money and you have a 9 week old...
Sorry for the vent And the rambling....
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Posted 6/28/07 10:41 AM  |
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Belladonna219
HOT MAMA
Member since 2/07 2642 total posts
Name:
Belladonna219
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Re: Do I have the right to be annoyed? (DH Vent)
It is hard adjusting to being new parents. DH and I had to do alot of compromising and pitching in to make it work. I am a do it myself type of person but there comes a limit and DH had to step it up a bit and give up some of his "time" to help me out and hang out with DS. I think are right to be annoyed, parenting is not easy and everyone needs time for themselves too so maybe you should talk to your DH and try to compromise otherwise it just creates more stress. 
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| Posted 6/28/07 10:47 AM |
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pmpkn087
Life is good...
Member since 9/05 18504 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Do I have the right to be annoyed? (DH Vent)
I think you should sit DH down and have a talk with him. He can not be living the spur-of-the- moment life that he lived before you guys had DS. It is not a matter of you being more independent, it's a matter of him sitting his arse home with his family and not out with his friends or his car.
I would make a plan for you to do something for yourself and TELL him that the baby is his responsibility during that time. HIS responsibility, no baby sitter.
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| Posted 6/28/07 11:02 AM |
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CkGm
They get so big, so fast :(
Member since 5/05 13848 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Do I have the right to be annoyed? (DH Vent)
I would be really annoyed. They don't understand that we NEVER get a break. I would sit him down and explain how upset you are and that you want to take a break now and again yourself. Set up a time to go out and just go.
My DH was the same way when the baby was born- go out, do stuff, meet the other moms, etc. Not so easy when they are 8 wks old This is not about being independent- its about having you time.
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| Posted 6/28/07 11:07 AM |
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snuggleupagus
I'm a rolling machine.
Member since 9/06 2064 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do I have the right to be annoyed? (DH Vent)
Posted by CkGm
I would be really annoyed. They don't understand that we NEVER get a break. I would sit him down and explain how upset you are and that you want to take a break now and again yourself. Set up a time to go out and just go.
My DH was the same way when the baby was born- go out, do stuff, meet the other moms, etc. Not so easy when they are 8 wks old This is not about being independent- its about having you time.
I agree...and mine doesn't get it either. He thinks I am trying to control him and tell him what to do.....no, you go play 2 sports each week for 2-4 hours at a time, I do not leave the house alone for that long EVER. It is more than within my rights to say he can't go out with his friends...and mind you they'v ALL been to our house to see the baby in droves, but I'm not supposed to take the baby out in public b/c he might be exposed to something. Meanwhile, when's the last time he tried to do something with JUST me aside from watching tv on the couch while waiting to see if DS is sleeping 3 hours or 5 at night??? (the answer is not once since he was born)
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| Posted 6/28/07 1:13 PM |
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CouponKT
Our family is complete
Member since 6/06 16494 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: Do I have the right to be annoyed? (DH Vent)
In general, it's always OK to be annoyed at DH - that's what they are there for I think 
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| Posted 6/28/07 1:58 PM |
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JennyGirl
LIF Adolescent
Member since 4/06 606 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Do I have the right to be annoyed? (DH Vent)
Posted by pmpkn087
I think you should sit DH down and have a talk with him. He can not be living the spur-of-the- moment life that he lived before you guys had DS. It is not a matter of you being more independent, it's a matter of him sitting his arse home with his family and not out with his friends or his car.
I would make a plan for you to do something for yourself and TELL him that the baby is his responsibility during that time. HIS responsibility, no baby sitter.
I totally agree.
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| Posted 6/28/07 2:49 PM |
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angelbear217
Mommy of 2
Member since 5/05 4313 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: Do I have the right to be annoyed? (DH Vent)
You have every right to be annoyed. I have had numerous conversations with DH about the fact that he can come and go as he pleases. I have no down time or time to myself. He can go to softball, out with friends or whatever he feels like doing. I need to ask if he is available to watch DD.
You need to talk to DH and tell him, as Stephanie said, that his carefree life as he knew it is over and that he needs to spend quality time with you and DS.
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| Posted 6/28/07 2:58 PM |
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