Do we force potty-training in a few weeks? (long, sorry!)

I think you all pretty much know my drama with my daughter & potty-training.

She’s 3.5 years. Smart as a whip. Also stubborn as a mule.

Completely, 100% knows all about potty training. Knows when she has to pee, poop, etc. But REFUSES to sit on the potty—EVER!!! Has done it maybe 3 times in the last YEAR She will ask to wear underwear at home, and hours later will say she has to pee and demands a diaper. Breaks into hysterics if you ask her to sit on the potty instead….full-on drama & refusal. She has a history of UTIs (and a kidney/ureter issue that MAY predispose her to the UTIs), so the thought of making her hold it (and not giving her a diaper to pee) makes me SO nervous. Plus, I know you’re not supposed to force them to use the potty, “they’ll go when they’re ready”. But she just flat-out has us on this, she knows she has the power on this issue, and loves it.

We’ve tried it all—telling her we’ll be able to buy her more toys if we’re not spending $ on diapers, that she can use the “big kid” playground at the park instead of the “little kids one” once she’s out of diapers, said Santa won’t come if she’s not sitting on the potty by then…everything! All of her friends at school use the potty, she knows this, says how proud she is of them, but it does NOT phase her at all that she’s the last one in diapers….even is so proud of her little friend, who’s “still a baby” as she says, that has been potty trained for like 6 months!!

So....my question (sorry!!)....she will be home with my husband the week after Christmas….no major plans at all, so they can stay in the house all day, every day. Should we FORCE the potty-training that week???? It would definitely be forcing her, we’ve tried every other bribe/reward before, reasoning with her, etc. I’m sure it would be drama-filled, tears, etc.

Otherwise, I know it will never “just happen” with her….she is too fond of the power she holds in this issue and she has NO desire to ever use the potty.

Thanks for reading this LONG post!

Re: Do we force potty-training in a few weeks? (long, sorry!)

i couldn't read the WHOLE post but i think you have 2 options:
use that week as a no-diapers week and let her run around without them and see what happens (this worked with my DD this past summer)
OR
seriously let it go. my sister had to eventually do that with my nephew and it worked. right now it seems like a control thing and thats all. once you show you are not "interested" she might become interested.
nothing is for sure but i would definitely try it that week and then if nothing....let it go.
good luck i know it's frustrating!

Re: Do we force potty-training in a few weeks? (long, sorry!)

I don't think I would "force" it. My DD took forever to train. When I finally relaxed about it a little bit, she did it. She is very stubborn and it really had to be HER decision to do it. Since you do have that week with nothing going on, maybe I would try again, but I wouldn't force it.

Re: Do we force potty-training in a few weeks? (long, sorry!)

maybe try getting rid of the diapers and having her be in her underwaer all day, but get her to drink TONS of fluids. not force her, make it fun. does she have a fvorite drink? chicken soup? popsicles, so that she CAN'T hold it in?

Re: Do we force potty-training in a few weeks? (long, sorry!)

Posted by nbc188


Otherwise, I know it will never “just happen” with her….she is too fond of the power she holds in this issue and she has NO desire to ever use the potty.

Thanks for reading this LONG post!

Re: Do we force potty-training in a few weeks? (long, sorry!)

You absolutely cannot force a child to potty train. Forcing her may make things worse.

Just lay off, STOP talking about the potty, keep changing her, be matter of fact about it. No emotion whatsoever. Let her take the lead when she is darn good and ready, she will do it on her own. By you trying to FORCE it, it will backfire. Seems like she needs this to be her own idea.

Re: Do we force potty-training in a few weeks? (long, sorry!)

I agree forcing makes you take 2 steps back...it took MONTHS to train my stubborn as a mule DD at 3 yrs old...we started at 2.5..and trained by 3 but now at 3.5 still have occasional accidents bec she doesnt want to miss something (on tv)

But can you put the diaper over the underwear first this way she feels the pee easier and might be more uncomfortable?!?!

We did this to our DD for a month at night before we said good bye to the diaper at night!

When your husband is home and he doesnt mind cleaning up puddles off the floor you can always claim you ran out of diapers and see what she has to do when you *cant put a diaper on..but I think the best thing to do is to train when someone is home all week with no real plans BUT potty training...

good luck! So frustrating I know!

Message edited 12/9/2010 12:21:00 PM.