Do You and DH Agree on Throwing Things Away

This post almost belongs on the relationship board, but it does seem home related to me more than anything, so I'll put it here.

I am curious to see how many people disagree with their DH/SO about getting rid of stuff. I tend to be a big tosser, but DH likes to hold on to things. I wouldn't say he's a pack rat, but he definitely keeps more than I do and attaches more sentimental value to his stuff. Most of the time, I'm okay with it, but now that we are beginning to look at what we are taking with us when we move, it's beginning to bug me!

If you are in this situation, what do you do and say? I suppose all I can do is compromise and ask that he get rid of some stuff while letting him keep other things. I think this is one of the few areas in our relationship where we really don't see eye to eye, and in the scheme of things, I suppose it's not a big deal. But it does get annoying for both of us, so I'm wondering how others deal with this.

Re: Do You and DH Agree on Throwing Things Away

Yes, we both hate clutter and like to "periodically pitch".

DH's ex-wife saved everything She had a huge crate of every card and note everyone ever wrote to her from high school to the present. Not just special occassions, every single card or note

Short of calling in the "Clean Sweep Crew" maybe you can take a weekend and work on a room or two together.

Have a bit of a contest... if you both want to buy something for the house or tickets to a play, etc. tell him you thought of a great idea. Find stuff throughout the house that both of you can sell at a garage sale or on e-bay, craigslist, whatever that will raise the amount you need.

One, you'll get rid of the clutter and two, you'll be able to enjoy your purchase w/ virtually free money.

This is basically the premise for a BBC/TLC show.

Goood lcuk.

Re: Do You and DH Agree on Throwing Things Away

DH and I for the most part, in agreement with what needs to be tossed/saved.

We haven't come across anything, yet, in our move that we disagree on.

Re: Do You and DH Agree on Throwing Things Away

We completely disagree. I hate clutter and throw anything away that I haven't used in six months. Luckily we have a big house and our compromise has been he gets the two garages and the unfinished part of the basement. As a matter of fact the last workman that had to get to the boiler area remarked that he couldn't believe that basement was in my house.

Re: Do You and DH Agree on Throwing Things Away

DH is a pack rat, and I've threatened to call the "clean sweep" show!!! He has every card ever sent to him, every school paper and even has one of those storage facilities!!! I mean, come on.....do you really need to save your little league uniform or the bat you used for playing stick ball when you lived in the Bronx??

Re: Do You and DH Agree on Throwing Things Away

I HATE CLUTTER! My DH saves everything. I get the mail before he comes home open everything and toss unless it's something her REALLY needs to see

Re: Do You and DH Agree on Throwing Things Away

I throw everything out and he likes to save things. Example- I was cleaning out a closet (this is AFTER we had moved into a new house) and found PC Richards reciepts from 1993 and on- a HUGE stack of them!! Most of the stuff we don't even have anymore! Needless to say those got pitched. Also he likes to keep ALL his clothes, so I have to secretely clean out his closet for clothes that no longer fit or have huge holes in them. I think he is finally getting used to it cause he jokes about how I throw all his stuff away now

Re: Do You and DH Agree on Throwing Things Away

I hate clutter, I throw out everything. DH hates it. he is always looking for stuff I just throw away. I philosphy is if it wasn't touch or moved within a day or two, it is not important so in the garbage it goes!!!

Re: Do You and DH Agree on Throwing Things Away

When I met DH he saved everything and that changed after 6 months . I do not like to have boxes of stuff places so if it doesnt fit in the closet that means the closet needs to be cleaned out. I throw out all cloths that I have not worn in the last year. DH does like to hold on to his pants when he was thinner and actually I think he will get back into them too.
I can't wait to move to throw out more stuff!!

Wanted to add that I do all my throwing out when DH isn't home so their is no discussion. If I am really unsure about it then I leave it. But if I know he hasn't used it in months and it can be replaced and is inepensive it gets thrown out

Message edited 3/6/2007 7:58:46 AM.

Re: Do You and DH Agree on Throwing Things Away

Thanks for your posts. I laughed at some of these, because they remind me of us! When I first moved into our co-op, DH had an entire closet of old mail and receipts for God knows what. We still have a few boxes of receipts, but not so many. Then there are the newspapers and magazines, I don't even want to start on that!

We also have gifts we cannot use that he won't part with. We have a cheap pot, that I don't use, and he doesn't use. But it was a gift, so we must keep it. If it was a gift from his deceased grandparents or if it had some sentimental value, I could understand keeping it.

He just doesn't see anything wrong with this, and he really doesn't want me throwing things away for him. Though to be honest, there are some things I could toss, and I don't think he would notice. Hmmm, maybe some things will disappear when we move?

Thanks for your suggestions. The selling suggestion would be good if these things had value, but most do not. I've suggested helping him organize things or giving him pointers, but he's not interested.

We just don't understand each other in this respect. In almost every other way, DH is a wonderful, sweet husband. So I have the feeling I need to learn to live with some clutter, though he needs to learn to live with some purging also.

Re: Do You and DH Agree on Throwing Things Away

I cant stand clutter!!!! Dh is a pack rat and when hes not at home I go through our drawers and closets and throw everything I know he doesnt need away. He never even realizes it or misses it but if he knew I did that hed kill me! LOL.

I used to throw away all the mail as soon as I got it (junk mail) but that drives him crazy so I agreed Id only throw out junk mail addressed to me and keep his. But if I see it around for more than a few days it gets tossed

Re: Do You and DH Agree on Throwing Things Away

we both like to live clutter free - although I like to keep paperwork! He does not, but I just try to keep it organzied myself - I'm waiting for the day when having all these papers will pay off...