Do you ever feel like...

...your stepchildren do things againest the rules just so you look like a meany???

For the most part I understand that they have little or no rules over their moms. It's difficult for them to come from a home with no rules to house with many....But at what point do you stop making excuses for them?

In a matter of a few hours we didnt...shut the gate to the kitchen or the bathroom door since they got here...this is a safety concern for the baby. Went out the front door and left it wide open..again safety issue with baby. Ate candy in the living room and left wrappers all over the place..there is no eating in the livingroom..and again wrappers are a safety issue for DS.

They are only here for a little while today so I just bit my tongue..but they were just here over the weekend and they didnt do any of the above. They know they cant do those things..why are they doing them today?????

When is the test going to be over??? Im so exhausted from constantly being tested!!!!

Re: Do you ever feel like...

They are doing those things to test you and see how much they can get away with. And, yes when you put your foot down, you are a meanie. They totally take advantage. Mine always tried and then I was always the beyotch. Will your DH talk to them and remind them again of the rules and why they are in place? (mine never would) I actually went so far as to write out a list of rules one time but DH basically laughed at it. Sorry you are having a rough day I definately feel your pain

Re: Do you ever feel like...

it happens all the time.

generally my ss is a great kid, this summer, however, he broke a lot of rules - i.e. not telling the truth, not cleaning his room when told, stealing - i don't know if it is a phase, rebellion or what, but i know it kills my dh - b/c he hates to ground him when they spend weekends/holidays/summers together. it makes it a miserable existence for everyone.

i know he doesn't have rules at his mom's - i.e. all i heard this summer was, "my mom lets me play xbox for however long i want. i don't have to get off unless i want to." of course, b/c i want him to enjoy his summer outdoors playing with children, i look like the bad one b/c i limit it to 1 - 2 hours per day (he plays however long he wants to with his dad at night as their bonding time)..but again, i look like the mean one b/c i care about him being well rounded, not a mush playing video games all day just so he's out of my hair

one day, maybe, they'll stop pushing it, unfortunately, i don't think that day will be soon enough

hang in there....it'll come out ok in the end

Re: Do you ever feel like...

My SS do this all the time. They both push the limits, and my DH actually doesn't really limit them...its me who does. I think most of it is "guilt" over the divorce, him not living with them, him not seeing them as much as he'd like (although he sees them every day, if only for an hour). They are at our house every other weekend and its pretty much a free-for-all. Starting tomorrow we're going to have them through Labor Day. I'm sure there will be some fighting going on in my house!

Re: Do you ever feel like...

It seems DH and I get bent out of shape about different things... We don't seem to enforce the same rules as strictly. I am more of an enforcer of everyday rules where DH let's them slide a lot so I end up being the meany.

Re: Do you ever feel like...

before the kids came to live with us, dh was so easy on everything with them because he wanted to be the cool father. i thought that would all stop after they lived with us full time but my goodness he is STILL a big kid with them. i feel like such a meanie when i enforce the rules and dh just tells me to "relax"!!!! its so frustrating. i totally get where you're at because they can practically get away with anything!!! its just one big test to see how mad i'll get i swear it!!