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nov04libride
big brother <3
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
Name:
Me
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Do you judge those that have affairs when married?
I work with a woman who is relatively high-level within my very large organization. It's fairly public knowledge that she is having an affair with another man who works here in an even higher-level position. The man she is having an affair with works closely with her and is also married. If someone would like to fight a decision she made, they must speak to her LOVER. Her DH also works here, in another area.
I had a meeting in her office recently, and she has tons of pictures of her kids hanging up...Next to a picture of her and the guy she is having the affair with. None of the husband. I am just disgusted. Maybe because her DH works here and could easily see, or because it could get back to him...They also grope each other in the hallways. Not that age matters, but these people are in their 50s or 60s!
I used to be very live and let live, whatever works for you in your marriage, but this just disgusted me and I came back to my office and commented on what an immoral and unethical person she is to be doing all of this in the workplace with her DH working here. I don't know if it all bothers me more because I am married or what, but I am just so very disgusted. 
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Posted 7/9/07 10:40 AM  |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you judge those that have affairs when married?
yes, I do judge people who cheat, and I don't care what anyone has to say about it. it's WRONG! and especially if the person in question is my boss, I would have ZERO respect for her/him! that is repulsive!
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| Posted 7/9/07 10:47 AM |
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JennZ
MY LIFE!!
Member since 8/05 25463 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you judge those that have affairs when married?
Well since she is having an affair to begin with, to me it shows she has no respect for her DH anyway; so publicly showing her affair doesnt shock me. I think it is disgusting and personally find it repulsive, but to each his own. Maybe she is just with DH on paper. Sometimes people finde it easier NOT to get divorced.
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| Posted 7/9/07 10:48 AM |
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4monkeys
boys will be boys =)
Member since 9/05 7205 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: Do you judge those that have affairs when married?
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
yes, I do judge people who cheat, and I don't care what anyone has to say about it. it's WRONG! and especially if the person in question is my boss, I would have ZERO respect for her/him! that is repulsive!
SAME HERE !  
One of my previous bosses wasnt even discreet about it One girl called a few times for him  and once the Waldorf AStoria called to say he forgot his watch there 
I was too embarassed to give him that message  so I told him to call them back.
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| Posted 7/9/07 10:49 AM |
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Jesaroo
is not the girl you knew
Member since 5/05 14266 total posts
Name:
Jes
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Re: Do you judge those that have affairs when married?
oops just re-read and saw "married"
Message edited 7/9/2007 11:18:16 AM.
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| Posted 7/9/07 10:54 AM |
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Kara
Now Zagat Rated!
Member since 3/07 13217 total posts
Name:
They call me "Tater Salad"
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Re: Do you judge those that have affairs when married?
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
yes, I do judge people who cheat, and I don't care what anyone has to say about it. it's WRONG! and especially if the person in question is my boss, I would have ZERO respect for her/him! that is repulsive!
I agree completely. Cheating on your spouse is WRONG. Period.
If you're so unhappy in the marriage, do your spouse the courtesy of ending it before moving on to screw your boss.
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| Posted 7/9/07 10:55 AM |
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HoneyBadger
YourWorstNightmare.
Member since 10/06 15979 total posts
Name:
BahBahBlackJeep
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Re: Do you judge those that have affairs when married?
Yes, I would be judgemental. Right, wrong or otherwise, I would.
I have absolutely no respect for anyone who cheats.
Zero.
Message edited 7/9/2007 11:06:15 AM.
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| Posted 7/9/07 11:05 AM |
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mrswask
Pookie Love
Member since 5/05 20229 total posts
Name:
Michal
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Re: Do you judge those that have affairs when married?
Posted by Jennie0898
Yes, I would be judgemental. Right, wrong or otherwise, I would.
I have absolutely no respect for anyone who cheats.
Zero.
me too
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| Posted 7/9/07 11:06 AM |
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Snozberry
I might steal your diamonds
Member since 2/06 4680 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: Do you judge those that have affairs when married?
What people do in their personal lives is not my business.
I'm MUCH harder on strangers than on friends/family.
HOWEVER, since she's putting it out there AT WORK - I'd judge, judge, judge. Don't throw that in people's faces. It's going to come back to get you personally or profesionally. And she deserves it.
If someone that I know came to me with a confession about it - no judging from me.
Not my life.
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| Posted 7/9/07 11:09 AM |
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~Colleen~
my loves...
Member since 5/05 9129 total posts
Name:
guess
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Re: Do you judge those that have affairs when married?
Like some others have said, whether right or wrong, I would absolutely be judgemental of a cheater.
That said, it sounds like maybe this woman and her husband have an agreement...otherwise there is absolutely no way her husband doesn't know about the affair. I don't care if they work in different parts of the country - if they're in the same company/office situation - they know. Especially if someone is so openly flaunting it.
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| Posted 7/9/07 11:10 AM |
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HoneyBadger
YourWorstNightmare.
Member since 10/06 15979 total posts
Name:
BahBahBlackJeep
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Re: Do you judge those that have affairs when married?
Posted by Snozberry
I'm MUCH harder on strangers than on friends/family.
ITA I'm much more forgiving of "my own" than those who mean nothing to me.
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| Posted 7/9/07 11:11 AM |
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Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A
Member since 7/05 32475 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: Do you judge those that have affairs when married?
Posted by ~Colleen~
Like some others have said, whether right or wrong, I would absolutely be judgemental of a cheater.
That said, it sounds like maybe this woman and her husband have an agreement...otherwise there is absolutely no way her husband doesn't know about the affair. I don't care if they work in different parts of the country - if they're in the same company/office situation - they know. Especially if someone is so openly flaunting it.
I agree. I also agree with Snozberry. Don't throw it in our faces. It is really unprofessional and it would make me uncomfortable. I would definitely be judgemental.
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| Posted 7/9/07 11:13 AM |
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KGools
Happy
Member since 9/06 9532 total posts
Name:
Kim
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Re: Do you judge those that have affairs when married?
I think it's sometimes unavoidable to judge... but my mind would start to analyze this situation...
Since she's so open about it regardless of the fact that her DH works there, perhaps they have an "agreement"?
Maybe he cheated on her and this is her way of getting back?
Maybe he doesnt' care?
Maybe she doesn't care?
Who the F knows, but yeah, I'd be judging AND I'd be curious as all hell as to what is going on at home with the woman and her DH!
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| Posted 7/9/07 11:14 AM |
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Hi-Fi55
12 years...wow....
Member since 2/06 2984 total posts
Name:
Dianne
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Re: Do you judge those that have affairs when married?
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
yes, I do judge people who cheat, and I don't care what anyone has to say about it. it's WRONG! and especially if the person in question is my boss, I would have ZERO respect for her/him! that is repulsive!
I agree. If you are putting it out there than I'm judging away!
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| Posted 7/9/07 11:15 AM |
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Kate07
Feel better my little guy!
Member since 5/05 4476 total posts
Name:
Kate
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Re: Do you judge those that have affairs when married?
The husband doesn't know
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| Posted 7/9/07 11:16 AM |
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nov04libride
big brother <3
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Do you judge those that have affairs when married?
Posted by CoopersMom01
Who the F knows, but yeah, I'd be judging AND I'd be curious as all hell as to what is going on at home with the woman and her DH!
I'm so curious about that too!  Apparently her DH is old and sick, which makes me feel even worse for him. 
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| Posted 7/9/07 11:17 AM |
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nov04libride
big brother <3
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Do you judge those that have affairs when married?
Posted by Kate07
The husband doesn't know
I guess we can't be sure about that...But our organization is very, very large, with many, many buildings (being vague so as not to give away where it is), so it is possible. He does not work in the same building. Let's put it this way--if my DH worked here chances are I would never see him. So it is possible.
Message edited 7/9/2007 11:20:48 AM.
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| Posted 7/9/07 11:18 AM |
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LIMOMx2
...
Member since 5/05 24989 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you judge those that have affairs when married?
No I do not judge. It is not my place to judge anyone.
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| Posted 7/9/07 11:19 AM |
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chelle
It's a Good Life
Member since 8/06 15404 total posts
Name:
Isn't it obvious?
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Re: Do you judge those that have affairs when married?
Posted by Jennie0898
Yes, I would be judgemental. Right, wrong or otherwise, I would.
I have absolutely no respect for anyone who cheats.
Zero.
Me too
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| Posted 7/9/07 11:20 AM |
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Jesaroo
is not the girl you knew
Member since 5/05 14266 total posts
Name:
Jes
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Re: Do you judge those that have affairs when married?
we can judge but at the end of the day its none of anyones business but their own.
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| Posted 7/9/07 11:21 AM |
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Kate07
Feel better my little guy!
Member since 5/05 4476 total posts
Name:
Kate
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Re: Do you judge those that have affairs when married?
Posted by nov04libride
Posted by Kate07
The husband doesn't know
I guess we can't be sure about that...But our organization is very, very large, with many, many buildings (being vague so as not to give away where it is), so it is possible. He does not work in the same building. Let's put it this way--if my DH worked here chances are I would never see him. So it is possible.
Well if it is a large place then it is understandable. But I would think work would spread like wildfire.
I try not to judge but I really think that when it hurts other, which it usually does, I can't help but to think so little of a person.
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| Posted 7/9/07 11:22 AM |
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nov04libride
big brother <3
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Do you judge those that have affairs when married?
Posted by Jesaroo
we can judge but at the end of the day its none of anyones business but their own.
Now, that was my first thought, but in an organization where if she turns something down you petition to her lover, it seems like that starts to hurt other people.
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| Posted 7/9/07 11:28 AM |
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MarathonKnitter
HAPPY
Member since 2/07 17374 total posts
Name:
EMBRACING CHANGE
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Re: Do you judge those that have affairs when married?
i wouldn't judge.
there are too many variables in everyone's life for an outsider to judge.
i would definitely be curious as to what makes them feel so comfortable to not hide it at work.
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| Posted 7/9/07 11:31 AM |
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CathyB
Member since 5/05 19403 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you judge those that have affairs when married?
Yes. My dad cheated on my mom with his second wife. She was married and pregnant by her then husband. While my dad hasn't cheated on her, she did cheat on him. I have no problem judging them. It was wrong on SOOOO many levels.
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| Posted 7/9/07 11:36 AM |
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MrsPorkChop
Twinning!!
Member since 5/05 9941 total posts
Name:
Missy
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Re: Do you judge those that have affairs when married?
who knows what type of marriage her and her husband have?
yeah, i think cheating is pathetic and gross and i know many that do it and i definitely think less of them however its their life and how they live it is not my biz
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| Posted 7/9/07 11:40 AM |
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