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BabyAvocado
Happy New Year
Member since 5/05 17334 total posts
Name:
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Do you think there are people
who are just more prone to being doormats than others? Or is it something they do that makes it easy for others to feel more comfortable taking advantage of their kindness and/or willingness to be helpful?
Is it something they do to themselves or something that is done TO them?
Or is it just that when you are naturally a kind or generous person, you are opening yourself up to being taken advantage of on a regular basis so it is bound to happen to you more?
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Posted 2/5/08 11:52 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
Preguntas
it's pretty precious
Member since 1/07 3839 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: Do you think there are people
my sister is a doormat, because she refuses to learn from people's previous actions. She keeps getting upset about the same situation with the same person- over and over.
She makes herself the doormat by expecting more form this person than this person has every proven they will give.
Yet she continues to go out of her way for this person.
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| Posted 2/5/08 12:01 PM |
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JessInCA
live laugh love
Member since 8/06 5082 total posts
Name:
Jess
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Re: Do you think there are people
Yes, I think some people are WAY more prone to it than others. And I think it's due to a combination of things done to them, and things they do to themselves. No concrete answers here.
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| Posted 2/5/08 12:01 PM |
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photoshopbabe
wow....
Member since 5/07 2197 total posts
Name:
linda
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Re: Do you think there are people
i refuse to be a doormat anymore-i used to care so much about waht ppl thought and now i just dont. a lot of stuff-just NOT worth it at all. 
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| Posted 2/5/08 12:02 PM |
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baghag
:P
Member since 5/05 10278 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you think there are people
I think it's something they allow to happen. You can be helpful and generous, but still have limits.
A coworker often says: There are no victims, just volunteers.
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| Posted 2/5/08 12:03 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you think there are people
I think it's nature & nurture. It depends on the type of personality & the family dynamics.
It's definitely the person doing it to themselves, not something that is being done to them.
I subscribe to the Ann Landers/Dear Abby theory that no one can take advantage of you unless you allow it.
I don't think being kind & generous necessarily opens you up to being taken for granted, but if you're not kind & generous there is nothing to take for granted.
Not sure if that makes sense.
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| Posted 2/5/08 12:28 PM |
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MrsERod
Praying for Everyone.
Member since 5/05 26170 total posts
Name:
MrsERod™®
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Re: Do you think there are people
in the words of Eleanor Roosevelt:
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
and
If someone betrays you once, it’s their fault; if they betray you twice, it’s your fault.
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| Posted 2/5/08 12:33 PM |
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Lichi
what what!?
Member since 5/05 4206 total posts
Name:
Lissette
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Re: Do you think there are people
Usually, those prone to being dormats are very nice people. HOwever, I know a few people that are strong-willed, but certain people still take advantage of them, and they don't do anything about it.
Personally, I think people do it to themselves. Unfortunately, I don't think one can blame the "doer" because when there's a hole in the "system", people will take advantage. It's up to the "system" to block that hole up.
PS: Hi Sandra!
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| Posted 2/5/08 12:34 PM |
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Tany
Becoming a different woman
Member since 5/05 24460 total posts
Name:
Tania
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Re: Do you think there are people
i definitely think that you are in charge of how other people treat you, you and only you can change and assert yourself to get the respect that you deserve.
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| Posted 2/5/08 12:38 PM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Do you think there are people
Posted by baghag
There are no victims, just volunteers.
I like this 
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| Posted 2/5/08 12:41 PM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: Do you think there are people
Posted by MrsERod
in the words of Eleanor Roosevelt:
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
and
If someone betrays you once, it’s their fault; if they betray you twice, it’s your fault.
I believe in both of those things.
but I feel they are more like a jumping off point than an answer.
it's a strange thing this...there are some people who are constantly being taken advantage of. there are those that do not allow anyone ever to take advantage of them. and then there are still people that for the MOST part, do not allow anyone to take advantage of them, but for some reason allow one particular person to walk all over them.
I think this happens for varied reasons. I think first, you have to be a naturally giving person. I also think there are self esteem issues at play here...you think it's your fault...b/c you did or didn't do enough/too much what have you.
then there is the personality of those that would take advantage.
it's easy to spot a push over (for me at least) it's up to ME (or anyone, as a person) to decide not to allow yourself to do that, no matter how easy it may be. not everyone can or wants to do that. there are those that actively look for push overs...like hunters to prey.
so when this perfect storm of personality issues comes together...they create this doormat.
sometimes you don't see it happening. and then you are just there...wiping mud and treadmarks off your face...wondering how they got there.
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| Posted 2/5/08 12:41 PM |
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MrsERod
Praying for Everyone.
Member since 5/05 26170 total posts
Name:
MrsERod™®
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Re: Do you think there are people
Posted by Ophelia
Posted by MrsERod
in the words of Eleanor Roosevelt:
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
and
If someone betrays you once, it’s their fault; if they betray you twice, it’s your fault.
I believe in both of those things.
but I feel they are more like a jumping off point than an answer.
it's a strange thing this...there are some people who are constantly being taken advantage of. there are those that do not allow anyone ever to take advantage of them. and then there are still people that for the MOST part, do not allow anyone to take advantage of them, but for some reason allow one particular person to walk all over them.
I think this happens for varied reasons. I think first, you have to be a naturally giving person. I also think there are self esteem issues at play here...you think it's your fault...b/c you did or didn't do enough/too much what have you.
then there is the personality of those that would take advantage.
it's easy to spot a push over (for me at least) it's up to ME (or anyone, as a person) to decide not to allow yourself to do that, no matter how easy it may be. not everyone can or wants to do that. there are those that actively look for push overs...like hunters to prey.
so when this perfect storm of personality issues comes together...they create this doormat.
sometimes you don't see it happening. and then you are just there...wiping mud and treadmarks off your face...wondering how they got there.
SO PERFECTLY stated!!!!!! especially the last part:
Posted by Ophelia
sometimes you don't see it happening. and then you are just there...wiping mud and treadmarks off your face...wondering how they got there.
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| Posted 2/5/08 12:44 PM |
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HeathKernandez
Our Ron is an awesome Ron
Member since 4/07 9091 total posts
Name:
baby fish mouth
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Re: Do you think there are people
Posted by Preguntas
my sister is a doormat, because she refuses to learn from people's previous actions. She keeps getting upset about the same situation with the same person- over and over.
She makes herself the doormat by expecting more form this person than this person has every proven they will give.
Yet she continues to go out of her way for this person.
you just described me... well, an OLDER version of me...
my welcome mat says 'WELL....'
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| Posted 2/5/08 12:50 PM |
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Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you think there are people
Oh yeah. Its the people who let it happen to them. I should know, I used to be one of them.
But then I got more self confidence and realized that I don't need to be a doormat to have someone like me.
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| Posted 2/5/08 12:59 PM |
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BabyAvocado
Happy New Year
Member since 5/05 17334 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you think there are people
Posted by Lichi
PS: Hi Sandra!
LISSETTE!!!  Hiiiii!!!!!!!! 
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| Posted 2/5/08 2:55 PM |
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donegal419
St. Gerard, pray for us.
Member since 7/07 7650 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: Do you think there are people
yes, my DH and I are perfect example! People know (mainly in our family) that we will do anything for them, and sometimes I think people take advantage. LIke we would be the first to be asked to go to the store, visit so-and so, lend someone some money, etc. and no one else is EVER asked.
In some ways, it's hard because it gets annoying sometimes and we know that everyone knows that we'll "come through" , but then a lot of the time, we do it because we want to do the right thing.
I think everyone knows that we're kind hearted and too generous and sometimes that gets taken advantage of. But i guess i would rather that than be the one that has to feel guilty because they're selfish.
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| Posted 2/5/08 3:01 PM |
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PegaLega
Lets Get This!!!!!
Member since 1/07 1110 total posts
Name:
Peggie
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Re: Do you think there are people
I think more people are prone to it but I also think that others choose to be walked all over.
I think it takes ONE situation that makes that person stand up for themselves to change this as a habit-but there is still the tendency to be nice and let it go
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| Posted 2/5/08 6:29 PM |
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JenniferEver
The Disney Lady
Member since 5/05 18163 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Do you think there are people
My mom kind of has "doormat" written on her head. She's really nice and people kind of flock to her to try to take major advantage. it pisses me off
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| Posted 2/5/08 6:32 PM |
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