Do you think your parents are proud of you?

are you proud of yourself? Which is more important to you??

Just caught a bit of Cheerleader Nation... and thought about my childhood... how my parents were so competitive, always expects me to exceed the best and when I can't deliver... the pain of letting them down is more than failing the task at hand.
I guess it is in my culture, because it gives them "face" when they have something proud to talk about at dinner parties with their friends... I hate how they always compare me to their friends' kids...
so I vowed that I will never do this to my children, I will let them surprise me and just be happy when they give their best...

my deep thought for this lovely saturday morning

Message edited 4/1/2006 12:55:48 PM.

Re: Do you think your parents are proud of you?

I know my parents are proud of me. They would be proud of us kids no matter what we did as long as we werent in trouble. I am proud of myself bc of all of my accomplishments. I wanted to have many of my milestones done in my 20's. I feel pretty successful and I just turned 30 and am now pregnant.

Re: Do you think your parents are proud of you?

My Dad's very proud of me.

My mom died when I was young and he had two failed marriages after that. Trust me it made soap operas look tame Through it all I didn't not use it as an excuse to screw up my life and I have plenty of students now who are not going through half of that and they are doing nothing with their lives. I always had at least a part-tiime job since I was twelve and worked very hard in school... I had my MS at 22.

When I was 26 my father had a massive stroke. I moved back in within 4 days. Stayed at the hospital for 11 days, moved him into a rehab center for 4 months then back home for rehab for a year. Luckily, I had enough money in the bank to float his bills for a while until I could get power of attorney. I worked 60 hour weeks, did post grad work, cooked for his dietary needs, cleaned a huge house, did home repair, invested his money, took him to doctor's appt's, out to functions all with no outside help... not even a cleaning lady... no help except my brother. Not one vacation in twelve years. Oh, and I had to find time for dating as well. I did this for seven years until DH and I were engaged.

I'd say he's proud. He wouldn't be where he is today without my determination.

Message edited 4/1/2006 11:41:25 AM.

Re: Do you think your parents are proud of you?

Posted by Tah-wee-ZAH

My Dad's very proud of me.

My mom died when I was young and he had two failed marriages after that. Trust me it made soap operas look tame Through it all I didn't not use it as an excuse to screw up my life and I have plenty of students now who are not going through half of that and they are doing nothing with their lives. I always had at least a part-tiime job since I was twelve and worked very hard in school... I had my MS at 22.

When I was 26 my father had a massive stroke. I moved back in within 4 days. Stayed at the hospital for 11 days, moved him into a rehab center for 4 months then back home for rehab for a year. Luckily, I had enough money in the bank to float his bills for a while until I could get power of attorney. I worked 60 hour weeks, did post grad work, cooked for his dietary needs, cleaned a huge house, did home repair, invested his money, took him to doctor's appt's, out to functions all with no outside help... not even a cleaning lady... no help except my brother. Not one vacation in twelve years. Oh, and I had to find time for dating as well. I did this for seven years until DH and I were engaged.

I'd say he's proud. He wouldn't be where he is today without my determination.

Re: Do you think your parents are proud of you?

My mom is proud of me.

But, growing up, she never understood the difference between Harvard and state school. To her, as long as someone went to college, that was all that mattered. So, I don't think she truly recognized my accomplishments until much later on...(not that I went to Harvard, just that she didn't fully understand how hard it was to always get good grades and stuff like that)

My dad. Nope, I doubt very much that he's proud of me. But, we can't all be prominent scientists, can we? If we were, he wouldn't be "special" anymore.

Re: Do you think your parents are proud of you?

Yes... My mom and dad tell me all the time.

my dad has two more, and he's told me i'm the only one he's proud of... well dad, maybe it's because you've spoiled the other two rotten

Re: Do you think your parents are proud of you?

yes. it showed in the poem that he w rote and read at the wedding

Re: Do you think your parents are proud of you?

I think my parents were proud of all four of their children. Not so much as there are 7 college degrees between us, but the fact that we have used all of their great lessons in life on how to be decent people so we can take care of our own families. My married siblings are great spouses and parents - they have wonderful, happy and smart children. My other sister is single, but devotes much of herself to the care of my mother as well as keeping the family together after the loss of my father. People are always telling us how Mom says she couldn't have survived the past year without us. (Sometimes she just doesn't tell US but we know). I tell Mom all the time that she can measure her success as a parent in how we are with our own families and what we give back to each other.

There are people who are good people in spite of possible dysfunction or inconsistency and lack of a tight-knit family unit. These people fight great odds, but someone out there is proud of them too.

Re: Do you think your parents are proud of you?

I know my mother is, but more importantly I am so proud of her. She is the model for me of a strong, self-supporting woman, and more than that she's my best friend.

I am proud of myself, which is most important to me. I have led a very moral and ethical life with very few or no regrets. I can say I am a virtuous person and have led a virtuous life. On paper I have accomplishments I am proud of, but I am most proud of how much I have helped others, and how I have been able to support myself and buy a condo with what I have earned. My father was always hard on my brother and me, and said he would only pay for a portion of college if we went to ivy league schools...Well, we did, and still nothing was good enough. But I think having a parent like that made us push ourselves 110% and become all that we had the potential to become. I look at some of DH's friends, not working and trying to scheme to never work a day, and that would never have happened in my family. My father would never say that he is proud, but I can say I have moved beyond having his opinion matter to me. I still try sometimes, telling him about papers I have had published or my dissertation, but he always just finds ways to put me and what I do down.

Re: Do you think your parents are proud of you?

Yes, I know my parents are proud of me. They tell me all the time.

Re: Do you think your parents are proud of you?

I know my parents are very proud of all three of us.

Re: Do you think your parents are proud of you?

yes...i think they are proud of me and how i have turned out..

Although i did have the competitive dad too...And i worked hardest to make him proud of me...
But for me...this wasn't a bad thing...
I think it gave me the drive to go get what i want. And i am grateful

ETA...i guess there are things i am proud of, things that i have accomplished...
But i am still a work in progress...

Message edited 4/1/2006 12:29:30 PM.

Re: Do you think your parents are proud of you?

I think my parents on some level are proud of me. I think they had hoped I would have made more of my life then I did. I am only 27 and working on doing that. I got side tracked for a while. Am I proud of myself? I am proud of myself that I finally got my act together and I working so hard to achieve my goals. I am trying not to live in the past and be accepting of the decisions I made are what they are and just focus on what will be.

I think being proud of yourself reflects in how others perceive you. If you are happy with yourself then there is a confidence so it makes people more likely to express a high opintion of you.

Re: Do you think your parents are proud of you?

I honestly don't know if my parents are proud of me. Both my siblings passed away and both were in that arts like myself. I have always been told that I don't have to succeed only for me, but for my brothers also. I have had some small successes in theatre, but certainly not what I/or my parents was hoping for, so If I had to guess I would say that they aren't very proud of me. So far, I have not only dissappointed myself, but also my brothers.

Re: Do you think your parents are proud of you?

Posted by nferrandi

Posted by Tah-wee-ZAH

My Dad's very proud of me.

My mom died when I was young and he had two failed marriages after that. Trust me it made soap operas look tame Through it all I didn't not use it as an excuse to screw up my life and I have plenty of students now who are not going through half of that and they are doing nothing with their lives. I always had at least a part-tiime job since I was twelve and worked very hard in school... I had my MS at 22.

When I was 26 my father had a massive stroke. I moved back in within 4 days. Stayed at the hospital for 11 days, moved him into a rehab center for 4 months then back home for rehab for a year. Luckily, I had enough money in the bank to float his bills for a while until I could get power of attorney. I worked 60 hour weeks, did post grad work, cooked for his dietary needs, cleaned a huge house, did home repair, invested his money, took him to doctor's appt's, out to functions all with no outside help... not even a cleaning lady... no help except my brother. Not one vacation in twelve years. Oh, and I had to find time for dating as well. I did this for seven years until DH and I were engaged.

I'd say he's proud. He wouldn't be where he is today without my determination.

Wow, I don't even know you and I'm extremely proud of all you've done.

Re: Do you think your parents are proud of you?

My dad was very proud of me. He passed almost 6 years ago.

If he was here now, i doubt he would be proud...I really feel he would be so disappointed in me over my failed marriage....even though it was totally out of my control.

Re: Do you think your parents are proud of you?

"I am proud of myself, which is most important to me. I have led a very moral and ethical life with very few or no regrets. I can say I am a virtuous person and have led a virtuous life. On paper I have accomplishments I am proud of, but I am most proud of how much I have helped others, and how I have been able to support myself and buy a co-op with what I have earned. "

Ditto to this statement.

No comment on the parent issue. I don't need their praise or approval. Never did, never will.

Message edited 4/1/2006 1:32:16 PM.

Re: Do you think your parents are proud of you?

My mom and dad divorced around the time I was born. My mom pushed me to be everything she never was...Alanis' song "Perfect" comes to mind. Except that I have always been strong minded, full of opinions and nobody's puppet. Mom is very proud of me. So much so that she almost made me cry a few weeks ago when she said "you're everything I wish I was"... How do you answer that?

My dad is also proud of us. But he's proud of all of us. He has no idea how my older sister and brother (and me) have accomplished so much at such a young age when we're "kids of divorce" yet his other 3 kids with his second wife are complete under achievers...complacent with "blah"...I guess my sibs and I worked hard because mom pushed us.

So my super long novel in a nutshell ? Yes, my parents are proud of me. And I am too.

Re: Do you think your parents are proud of you?

My parents are no longer living, but I never doubted they were proud of me and still are......

Re: Do you think your parents are proud of you?

I think my parents are proud of all 3 of us

Re: Do you think your parents are proud of you?

My Mom tells me she is all the time. I really know it when other people tell me she is.

As for my Dad, I know he was proud of me even though I was a bratty teenager when he died.

Re: Do you think your parents are proud of you?

My parents are proud of me. They were never the pushy kind of parents and always just told me to do my best and be happy. Any pressure that I felt growing up was pressure that I put on myself. They are proud of me because of my academic accomplishments, but more important because I'm a good, kind person with strong morals and ethics.

I am proud of myself for the most part, although a little disappointed in myself for not pushing myself harder in grad school and finishing my dissertation on time. I should have been graduating next month, but I won't be for at least another year. That is the only disappointment in my academic/professional life. Otherwise, I am very proud of who I am as a person and the way that I live my life.

Re: Do you think your parents are proud of you?

My parents are proud of me. I think all they ever really wanted for me was happiness and financial stability. Since they always worried about money, it was very important that I get a good education, be self-sufficient and not dependent on a man for money.

They love that I chose to become a teacher (especially my dad, who is all about good benefits! ) I know too that they were proud that I went off on my own when I finished grad school and even though money was tight I never asked for help.

And as odd as it may sound, I know they are proud of my relationship with DH, that we are happy together and respect each other. I think as I got a little older and was still alone, that they worried that I'd "settle" for the wrong person.

Re: Do you think your parents are proud of you?

My parents are proud of me in general. They are *ecstatic* about certain things in my life and would have liked more from me in other areas.

My parents had a failed marriage and both see my marriage as an incredible success. I can tell I impressed them. My mother always says "I married very well". One of those really attentive types, DH affords me a lot (opportunity to be a SAHM, take classes with my daughter, lunch with my friends, hit the gym). He has a lot of integrity and character in addition to a great career!
My mother also recently told me I am a good mother. I nearly fell off the chair when she told me that I was a better mother than her! LOL!

One thing they would have liked was an advanced degree. Both my parents have them and they spent a long time trying to convince me to go back. But, oh well!