Re: Does anyone else ever feel like this...Please dont be offended at all! LONG

There are times when I read some posts on here and feel like why can't I do that or why don't I have that.

Then I realize what I do have, and I can't compare my life to others.

I'm not accusing anyone of lying, but it's the internet. People can say what they want, and who knows what is true and what is not.

I'm not crafty and I have no eye for photography or design, but you know what? big whoop. It's not who I am and that is fine by me.

Re: Does anyone else ever feel like this...Please dont be offended at all! LONG

I sometimes feel a pang... I would love to take my DD to an LIF get together but can't because it revolves around food. I saw the pictures all the cute LIF kiddies eating pizza and cake, and I think I only wish...

's - So many other poster's had it right. It's just about doing your thing... and what makes you happy.
I'm kind of like BXGELL2 - My one DD has been to a studio for pictures once - My second DD - never. They sometimes wear stained clothes, but they are happy, and have a mother who loves them, and spends a lot of time with them. In my book - that's what counts.

Re: Does anyone else ever feel like this...Please dont be offended at all! LONG

I am sorry that you feel that way! I think that you should never ever compare yourself to anyone else! Thats a major no no in my opinion.

Everyone is so different and you have to accept and appreciate everyones differences!

Be confident in yourself and your choices!

eta...I have never taken my child for professional pictures, my house is a mess, I am a working mother and I enjoy it, I have no money....so on and so forth

Message edited 11/16/2007 5:21:40 PM.

Re: Does anyone else ever feel like this...Please dont be offended at all! LONG

I definitely feel like message boards I've been on have made me question myself a bit more than I would have if I had never discovered them at all. Especially when I first had my kiddos I would think, "Am I doing enough?" because of what someone else was doing. I hate that I am susceptible to that sort of thinking, and wish I could just be 100% confident that I am doing a good job. I've gotten better about it as my kids have gotten older though, they're turning out pretty well!

Of course there are times when I wish I could afford this or that when someone posts about their house or things they've bought. But then I think that I am just lucky to have what I have, that there are plenty of people out there who are not as fortunate and probably wish they had what I have.

Re: Does anyone else ever feel like this...Please dont be offended at all! LONG

I see what you're saying, and to answer the question, no, coming on here or any other message board doesn't make me feel like I'm not a good enough parent or that my fashion sense isn't the best or sad that I don't have more material things.
I'm a shutterbug, so I have tons of pictures of Jackson. I don't, however, have time to play with any photo software and make fancy collages of him. Will he care when he's grown up? I doubt it. He'll care more that I spent time reading to him and playing with him and cuddling him. To me, nothing matters more than how it feels to have his arms around my neck. No designer clothing could replace that, or any other material things.
If your family loves you, that's all that matters

Re: Does anyone else ever feel like this...Please dont be offended at all! LONG

I don't think I ever feel pressure. I sometimes have a bit of the jealousy bug, but ultimately I am very happy and secure in who I am.

Re: Does anyone else ever feel like this...Please dont be offended at all! LONG

I don't ever feel like the boards pressure me but they do inspire me to do more. I read things and it's like, "Oh, I can do that." I never feel as if I am a bad mommy if I don't do as others do. I just think I am secure with who I am.

Re: Does anyone else ever feel like this...Please dont be offended at all! LONG

Posted by dandr10199

Posted by DanaRenee

I think I know what you mean, and when I feel that way I try to remember to never let what anyone else has or does steal the joy or contentment I have with my own life. I thank God every day for the blessings he's given me, be it material things, my friends and family, my health...etc. No matter what your status, there are so many that have less, and those are the people we need to compare ourselves to

Well Said.

Re: Does anyone else ever feel like this...Please dont be offended at all! LONG

Posted by Anniegrl

I see what you're saying, and to answer the question, no, coming on here or any other message board doesn't make me feel like I'm not a good enough parent or that my fashion sense isn't the best or sad that I don't have more material things.
I'm a shutterbug, so I have tons of pictures of Jackson. I don't, however, have time to play with any photo software and make fancy collages of him. Will he care when he's grown up? I doubt it. He'll care more that I spent time reading to him and playing with him and cuddling him. To me, nothing matters more than how it feels to have his arms around my neck. No designer clothing could replace that, or any other material things.
If your family loves you, that's all that matters

Re: Does anyone else ever feel like this...Please dont be offended at all! LONG

I understand how you feel! I can't say that I feel pressured, but a little upset because things don't go good for me, or I could never afford that, etc. I just wonder why not me? What makes me so prone to things not going right? I try not to let it bother me, but I'll admit, it's hard. I just keep telling myself that you can't compare yourself to others but you know what... you can't help it! I am grateful and feel blessed for what I do have but at the same time wonder what did I do to deserve something always going wrong. I don't know, just do what you can with what you have. Everyone tells me, your time will come! I'm still waiting!

ETA: I'm always happy for others, but it's still hard!

Message edited 11/16/2007 8:18:58 PM.

Re: Does anyone else ever feel like this...Please dont be offended at all! LONG

I know exactly what you are saying. I don't feel pressure to do what everyone else is doing, but sometimes I do have to remind myself that I can't have EVERYTHING everyone else has.

What people post that they have and what they actually have can be two different things. You don't know for sure.

Also, just because children have certain things, doesn't mean the parents live an ideal world where everything is perfect. Let me explain. Steven has a TON of toys. And he has decent clothes (not designer or anything, but nice stuff from Gymboree, Janie and Jack, Old Navy, etc.), but he also has loads of stuff from Wal-Mart. My parents and siblings by him loads of toys, so that adds to a lot of the stuff he has. Also, my mom buys lots of toys and clothes for him and he is the only baby in the family, so he gets everything from everyone. So, it's not like I have tons of money to buy him all this stuff...it's a collaboration of things from different people.

Also, I live in a tiny apartment in Queens, just like you do. I don't have a house with a yard, nor do I see that in the near future.

I think everyone just makes it work and different people are willing to make certain sacrafices to have certain things. Not every aspect of people's lives can be perfect. If it looks/sounds too good to be true, it usually it.

Re: Does anyone else ever feel like this...Please dont be offended at all! LONG

Sometimes!! You are completely validated in how you feel..its human I think.

For example...I got so caught up in having a nice first bday for him because reading what some people did/were doing REALLY threw me off. I brought myself back to reality quickly though and did it how I wanted to do it..with the means we could afford.

Like other posters have said...at the end of the day I love my life and am so grateful for the blessings I have. I wouldn't change a thing, and if EVERYONE did it the same way what a boring world it would be!!

Re: Does anyone else ever feel like this...Please dont be offended at all! LONG

Posted by Summerrluvv

Posted by Anniegrl

I see what you're saying, and to answer the question, no, coming on here or any other message board doesn't make me feel like I'm not a good enough parent or that my fashion sense isn't the best or sad that I don't have more material things.
I'm a shutterbug, so I have tons of pictures of Jackson. I don't, however, have time to play with any photo software and make fancy collages of him. Will he care when he's grown up? I doubt it. He'll care more that I spent time reading to him and playing with him and cuddling him. To me, nothing matters more than how it feels to have his arms around my neck. No designer clothing could replace that, or any other material things.
If your family loves you, that's all that matters

See this kind of response bothers me. Because there are many on here that play around and spend time enhancing their pictures, etc., they don't spend time reading and playing with their children? I think a happy balance is a good thing