Does anyone else have a difficult 4 year old?

I'm so sad to even be posting about this because Ava has always been such a good girl, but we've really seen a turn for the worse lately.
She argues with us over everything and I mean EVERYTHING. Screams, throws the mother of all tantrums, stomps around yelling at us, etc.
The thing is, I know it's our own fault because she's not like this at school and she's not like this towards Chase or anyone else. Just us. So I'm curious if anyone else has a 4 year old or has had one that became difficult and what you did to deal with it?
When we put her in time out or in her room, she goes absolutely nuts. She practically tore her room apart the other day when I put her in there to cool off The littlest things set her off, like asking her to clean up. She'll just start screaming and if I try to talk to her, she flips her lid even more
I could really use some advice if anyone has it.

Re: Does anyone else have a difficult 4 year old?

I don't have much advice, but I don't think you should blame yourselves. Lily also acts differently at school vs. home with us and I really don't believe it's completely our fault. there are times that I know I may have made a mistake to help cause the bad behavior (ie: let her stay up too late) She has definitely had these same kinds of moments like you're talking about and the only thing that "works" with her is to get down on her level, speak to her calmly yet firmly. I always tell her that this is not acceptable behavior (that came from Supernanny ) I tell her that she needs to calm down and tell me what's bothering her. Her teacher at school recently taught them a cute saying. She came home saying "I learned about bugs & wishes. It bugs me when you yell at me. I wish you would stop." (I don't yell much anymore but this is an example.) I know this won't work when they get really worked up, like what you're describing. Usually with Lily, I can see it coming and head it off, but when it comes out of nowhere like you're describing, I usually just let her "get over it." (If we're home I let her flip out for a few minutes up in her room, then do the above when she seems to be starting to calm down -- talking to her calmly but firmly.)
Good luck!! Hopefully this is just a short phase and your good little girl will be back all the time soon.

Message edited 1/4/2011 6:50:43 AM.

Re: Does anyone else have a difficult 4 year old?

my son is like a light switch, he freaked out over me helping him with the hand sanitizer - than the whole night was shot!

Re: Does anyone else have a difficult 4 year old?

Uhhuh... yup... Alex has such incredible mood swings, it's unbearable at times. And when she's cranky... oy. She is, and has always been, an intense, fiery, spirited little child, as has your Ava. I think this is life for us Mommies for the long haul, and all we can do is try our best to redirect all that intensity and passion towards good

Re: Does anyone else have a difficult 4 year old?

I think it's the age. Ryan can be really fresh and unbearable sometimes. Hang in there.

Re: Does anyone else have a difficult 4 year old?

Thanks, girls. I really appreciate you sharing with me. I really need to find a way to channel her energy into something other than evil I'm kidding, partially, because she really needs something to do when she is feeling overwhelmed with emotion. I just don't know what yet.

Re: Does anyone else have a difficult 4 year old?

I am so glad to see this post and to see that my DD is not the only one. She has been beyond difficult lately. I am really hoping it is just the age. Her twin brother is not difficult at all - Thank GOD - I think I'd go over the edge if I had two hellraisers!

Re: Does anyone else have a difficult 4 year old?

Have you met my daughter?? Honestly 4 was rough-- 5 is much better-- I promise

Re: Does anyone else have a difficult 4 year old?

YES I DO!!!!!!!!!!! I love my 4 year old but man can she have an attitude. She cries over everything. I've been very consistent when it comes to time outs. I think she's starting to get it. 5 is right around the corner, we can't get there soon enough


BTW, my sister calls it the f..king fours as compared to the terrible twos.

Re: Does anyone else have a difficult 4 year old?

Re: Does anyone else have a difficult 4 year old?

Posted by BaroqueMama

Thanks, girls. I really appreciate you sharing with me. I really need to find a way to channel her energy into something other than evil

Re: Does anyone else have a difficult 4 year old?

YES!!! Megan is extremely difficult. She is STUBBORN, thick headed and strong minded. Everything HAS to be her way or no way and I just wont have that in this house. So we butt heads A LOT! She doesnt throw tantrums but she does try to scream AT me. Doesnt fly. I admit, sometimes I drop the ball and dont punish her but I need to stop doing that. She needs to have some sort of punishment for it each and every time.

We are also in the stage of me saying things 3837582473 billion times. Its so frustrating! I swear when she was 10 months, she listened to me better. Its been really rough around here. Also, with her being in school for 2 1/2 hours every day..I think she lets off a lot of steam when she gets home. I am so nervous for next year when shes there full time. UGH.

Re: Does anyone else have a difficult 4 year old?

Thanks, girls.
I've gotten to the point where I'm going to say something once, once only and then it's consequence time. I ended up taking out a trash bag the other night and putting all her toys that were out in it and told her it'd be by the door and she had till morning to put them away or they were trash, and I would have done it, too.
They were away in five minutes