Does anyone feel - why bother?

We've been ttc for over 2 years (since 1/05). I've done 3 IUI's that were unsuccessful, taken meds, had and HSG done (all clear), got preg twice (once m/c and second c/p).
My DH finally agreed to even talk about IVF, but wants me to get other testing to see if I can even hold a baby because then what would be the point. I have an apointment on the 15th to see if there are tests for this (after taking 8 months off of the RE's and trying on our own again). My insurance doesn't cover anything with IVF, so it would be all out of pocket.
There are days when I feel like I would do anything to have a baby, but literally half the time I think that maybe it wouldn't be so bad not to have children. I'm 35, so it's not like I can put it off for years. I'm just wondering if I'm trying to talk myself out of children because it may never happen. Do you ever feel like this?

Re: Does anyone feel - why bother?

yes, I do feel that way - in the beginning of the journey (with IUIs) I was hopeful, but we have one shot left and I'm beginning to think about and deal with the childless option

Re: Does anyone feel - why bother?

YES! After all the obstacles we've hit, I sometimes think "is this a sign maybe we shouldn't have kids".
And sometimes I do feel like I'm talking myself into for DH, which gets me even more stressed.
Than I'll just tell myself, keep pushing forward, you will know when enough is enough.

Re: Does anyone feel - why bother?

Message edited 5/3/2007 1:30:28 PM.

Re: Does anyone feel - why bother?

I've been feeling like this for the past month. We've also been ttc for 2 years. Dh and I would do anything to have a child. However, lately, the emotional (not to mention what I have to go through physically) rollercoaster has been very overwhelming. I find myself crying everynight and I have to catch myself during the day.
I've been thinking about adoption alot more lately. For some reason, dh is against this (which I find odd since both he and his sister were adopted). He wants to keep trying ivf until we're successful.
You are not alone in how you feel.

Re: Does anyone feel - why bother?

Yes I feel like that sometimes. We have been trying for 6 years and we have tried everything so I think sometimes I try to mentally prepare myself that I may never have a baby, but I am determined not to let IF beat me just yet & I'm only 39 so I'll keep going for now. I know how you feel, I think we all do. Try to stay positive. Good luck

Re: Does anyone feel - why bother?

I felt like giving up and throwing in the towel so many times. I TTC for 18 months, I'm know your pain. Instead of giving up, you might want to re-prioritize things...just so you don't make it the ENTIRE focus of your life like so many of us end up doing.

Just know we are all down and out sometimes. But all you can do is all you can do. Beyond that, its in God's hands.

I wish you the best in whatever you decide.

Re: Does anyone feel - why bother?

Re: Does anyone feel - why bother?

I agree with you and it's a very personal decision. I have decided that I won't stim anymore. So, if I don't get PG with the embies we have then we are done.

There comes a point where you just can't take anymore and when you reach that point you have to accept it or find other options.

Re: Does anyone feel - why bother?

I'd like to think that one day I'll get a sign from above to tell me when to stop, but so far, I have hope for a baby.

Whether or not you decide on IVF (we will go thru this hopefully in the next few months if this iui doesn't work), is a decision that both you and your dh have to be comfortable with.

Re: Does anyone feel - why bother?

I am feeling the same way as well.
I am not sure emotionally and physically how much more I can take. I have more and more started thinking about life without children.

Re: Does anyone feel - why bother?

I am not sure this is the best place to put our story, but here goes.

We had both MF and FF, were basically told that we had to do IVF. Our insurance company insisted on 3 IUI's first, and then we would actually be covered for 3 IVF lifetime. We were lucky we had good insurance. We did the first two IUI and they failed. (while we were doing the IUI's we did a lot of reading on IVF and also on adoption. We had decided that we would try IVF once, then move on to adoption). Well I was sitting in the office to start the process for IUI #3, reading yet another book on adoption in the waiting room. It was fathers day. It happened to be busy that day, and something just hit me while I was sitting there. I wanted to adopt a baby from China. I picked myself up, told the receptionist I was leaving, went home and told DH who was 100% for adoption, and we filled out the application that week. That was 6/04. In September 05, we went to China and brought home the most precious, wonderful little girl I have ever met in my life. She is as much mine as any child I would have given birth to. I would die for this precious angel. She is the best gift God could have ever given me. It took us some time to come to the adoption decision, and it is obviously not an easy decision to make. I went through a very short period where I felt, how to say it best, an inadequate feeling, but that passed quickly as we were going through the adoption process. I just wanted to put this here because I know what it feels like to be stressed and drained and feel like you may never have a child. I am sending lost of dust for all of you!!