does anyone feel guilt really bad?

I do and I cant shake it. My Dad is in the hospital, he had a really bad motorcycle accident and has since had more problems and has been in Icu for a few weeks now, He is not in a life threatening situation but he has a lot of healing to do. ANyway, Me and my Dad have had somewhat of an estranged ( sp) realationship since my mom died 3 yrs ago. Basically he did some pretty awful things while she was dying and was just never there for us while she was dying. So Basically our relationship has been off again on again and then he got into the accident and I tried to be there for him, I went to the hospital when I got the news and visited him a few more times that week and since then I have only been able to go to the hospital once a week because I have 10 month old baby and he is in ICU so I cannot bring the baby and the visiting hours are limited plus I also watch my nephew during the week which is sort of my job- I get paid for it so I really can only get there on the weekends. Despite that Im getting alot of flak my his Family saying how I should be there for him and how I should find babysitters and work it out Even though he is in a drug induced coma and wouldnt know if I was there or not, we are not close and I have responsibilites at home. They are really playing the guilt card on me and I cant lie it def, gets to me thats just how I am. I wish I could be different..

Re: does anyone feel guilt really bad?

I am so sorry to her about the whole situation--you have every right to feel how you do about your father. It sounds like you are taking a big step by even going to visit him at all.

You have responsibilities to your child and your nephew, you are taking the time out to go see him and I truly think that it is enough, you are going out of your way to be there for him. I am sorry that you are going through this.

You know, I would probably feel the same way you do, and it is definitely easier from the outside to say that they are unfairly guilt-tripping you, but really, they are just being selfish by telling you that you're not doing enough. Get there when you can and if you want, and that will be enough. Like you said, he's not even awake anyway. So, do as I say and not as I would do, and don't feel guilty. I know it's hard, but from an outside perspective, you are totally right and shouldnt' feel guilty.

Re: does anyone feel guilt really bad?

I agree with newYawkah. It's easy to let them lay the guilt trip on you, and who wouldn't feel bad? but I don't think you should feel guilty. You're doing the best you can with all of your responsibilities. It's not like he needs you there every second, he doesn't even know you're there anyway, and I can't imagine it being easy to be there with the kind of relationship you have. I don't think they have realistic expectations. Keep your head up

Re: does anyone feel guilt really bad?

Do not feel badly, or guilty. You are entitled to your feelings. And don't let his family guilt you into anything - they didn't walk in your shoes. Keep your head up.

Re: does anyone feel guilt really bad?

don't let them make u feel guilty. when you're there, i'm sure your dad knows

Re: does anyone feel guilt really bad?

Re: does anyone feel guilt really bad?

Posted by NewYawkah

I am so sorry to her about the whole situation--you have every right to feel how you do about your father. It sounds like you are taking a big step by even going to visit him at all.

You have responsibilities to your child and your nephew, you are taking the time out to go see him and I truly think that it is enough, you are going out of your way to be there for him. I am sorry that you are going through this.

You know, I would probably feel the same way you do, and it is definitely easier from the outside to say that they are unfairly guilt-tripping you, but really, they are just being selfish by telling you that you're not doing enough. Get there when you can and if you want, and that will be enough. Like you said, he's not even awake anyway. So, do as I say and not as I would do, and don't feel guilty. I know it's hard, but from an outside perspective, you are totally right and shouldnt' feel guilty.