Does anyone feel like this? VENT ...

Im a regular poster...but i jsut didnt wnat to expose myself..


Ever since i got pregnant (which DH and I wanted for a while.) Things between DH and are just not the same. Infact they seem worse where before things were great. Its like we forgot how to communicate, be loving toward each other, sexual, and just having fun.

I am sooo upset right now bc all be do is bicker or fight. It seems like its everyday and I KNOW there are times i am overreacting on some issues but sometimes im just not thinking straight.
Instead of being an understanding DH with all these hormones he fights with me back and makes things worse. He makes comments here and there that just sting me.

Its so upseting bc were so off track in our relationship yet we have this bundle of joy coming.... Im already half way done with my pregnancy adn i see no light at the end of the tunnel....I AM SO SAD THAT THIS TIME IN MY LIFE THAT IS SUPPOSED TO BE SO GREATAND ITS RUINED WITH ALL THIS

Message edited 10/22/2006 4:53:56 PM.

Re: Does anyone feel like this? VENT ...

I'm so sorry things are so stressful right now. Dh went through some bickering when I was first pregnant. Even though we both totally wanted to be pregnant, it was still a big adjustment to go from being an impulsive couple to thinking of ourselves as parents. But it did get better and now I feel like we've never been closer- which is fantastic considering we'll be meeting our son this week. Yes the sexual part is in a bit of a lull, but we're so emotionally connected right now that I know the physical part of our relationship will go back to normal.
And just as a little suggestion, but I think it would be a great idea for you guys to take a weekend getaway. I know that I felt like DH and I reconnected after we went on a cruise together. We focused on each other and things seemed to really get back on track.
Good luck, and we're always here to listen and help when we can.

Re: Does anyone feel like this? VENT ...

I am so sorry you are feeling this way and going through this at a bad time. Is it stress related over making sure things are okay for when the baby comes?
I am not a great advise giver, but I can offer tons of .
Maybe you can bring this up to him and see if you are both being stressed out and can figure out why. Good luck to you!

Re: Does anyone feel like this? VENT ...

sorry this is all happening to you. hopefully it is only a phase and it will pass. u guys should really try to sit and talk and just tell him how u feel - even if u have already i would just do it again. i'm sure once the baby is born u guys are going to reconnect no matter what!

Re: Does anyone feel like this? VENT ...

Try to sit down with him when both of you are calm and explain your feelings. Even when you really want to get pg it can be overwhelming.

The biggest adjustment for me was dealing with the fact that I just don't have the energy level I used to and being pg with multiples I have to take it easy. I used to act like Super-woman. I was frustrated that I had to rely on people and would get impatient with DH that he didn't know that the floor needed to be scrubbed OF course, most of that was my frustration with my energy level and my perfectionist ways. I've had to let it go. Yes, a few times I chewed DH's head off and it totally wasn't his fault.

Perhaps you are going throguh the same thing or something similar and it's being compounded by the hormones. Guys have no idea how hormones affect our bodies and it's not their fault that they don't know. I'm sure if you explained it to him he might get a better idea. Also, maye give him a head's up when you are feeling moody, tired, etc. I do this with my DH and he always offers to help.

Re: Does anyone feel like this? VENT ...

Its a huge adjustment, and even a strong relationship needs to work on being a bit stronger during these times - I mean, DH and I are very strong and we have had our moments - I mean, hello - you are having a BABY! What a change in every aspect of your life - the stress is bound to take over once in a while - just remember to always return to that perspective...

You know, on LIW, occasionally a lady will change her name, and talk about ever since she and FH have been engaged, there has been bickering, crying, no sex, etc - I really have been able to see (and feel better about) the fact that when life goes thru any major change, it takes a while to acclimate and adjust.... That is why these items are listed on "major stressor" checklists....

Justr keep talking and working on it.... You guys will get thru this!

Re: Does anyone feel like this? VENT ...

I think it happens to a lot of couples and that once this baby gets here and you see what you have created together things will get better. Like you said between hormones, anxiety, anticipation, and fears of being parents any two people could find themselves in your situation. But I really think things will get better if not before than at least once the baby is born.