Does anyone live away from family & friends?

We've been thinking about moving out of NY but our whole family and all our friends are here. Has anyone moved and left everything and everyone behind? How has the adjustment been? How did you deal with having a family without your family around??

TIA

Re: Does anyone live away from family & friends?

im not that far- im in CT - an hour + away but i adjusted really well.
i made friends here at work, and through my volunteer group- the junior league- and my husband has adjusted well.
i see my family fairly often though and I have my mom on IM so we chat when im at work, so I never feel they are that far away.
It will be toughter when we have kids, im sure, but for now we enjoy where we are.

Re: Does anyone live away from family & friends?

I moved across the country when I was 18 and never looked back. I moved to a state I had never visited and didn't know anyone.

I love love LOVE my family but we still see each other a few times a year and talk/IM all the time.

It was pretty easy to make friends at work. I'm really shy, so if I can do it, anyone can!

Like the PP, we don't have kids, so things may be different in the future...

Message edited 6/19/2008 3:56:30 PM.

Re: Does anyone live away from family & friends?

I moved to England almost 10 years ago with my British husband and it was the best thing I ever did. I love it here...I am really happy and I love my life here. I don't have my family around, but I have a nice big circle of friends who support me. My parents come to visit me a lot, I come home to LI once or twice a year. I am very happy. I have a great job, a lovely house and I really enjoy living in a different culture. Now that I have a 2 year old son, I do wish I had my parents near by every once in a while, but that goes away quickly!

Sometimes you never know how somehting is going to work out unless you do it.

Re: Does anyone live away from family & friends?

I moved to Australia permanently about two years ago, but I had lived overseas 2 years prior to that (1 year in Australia and 1 year in Germany).

I am not going to lie, but the adjustment was really hard. I miss my family and my friends, but I have made a few friends here. I am just starting to get used to living here. The hardest part is the time difference. I can't really talk to anyone back home until the weekend b/c I am at work when they are at home during the week. I do like living overseas, but the time difference is killing me. We plan to move to Europe March 2009.

If you decide to move, when you are adjusting keep yourself busy. That has helped me heaps.

Message edited 6/20/2008 8:54:39 AM.

Re: Does anyone live away from family & friends?

I moved from Ireland to NY at 18 & I loved NY from the start. Loved it! Not the high cost of living however! My DH and I moved to Chesapeake VA almost 2 years ago & its has been a huge adjustment for us. We do not really like it here & we miss our friends and family alot. We are not very outgoing people so it has been hard for us to meet new people. We have talked about moving back to NY in 3/4 years. I still miss Ireland esp since my Mom, sisters and brother live there & I have missed out on alot of things in their lives. I don't know if I could move back there.

Re: Does anyone live away from family & friends?

I moved to CT. Right now, we're 2.5-3 hours away from my family. I love it here and don't have any plans to leave. DH's family is in CT (about 1 hour away from us). We see my family fairly often, at least one weekend per month. We also see DH's family pretty often. It will be hard to be a few hours away from my family when is born, but my parents have already said they'll be visiting more often. I wish we lived a little closer, but I'm happy here.

Many of my friends are still in NY. I definitely don't see them as often as I'd like, but we keep in touch by phone and e-mail. I don't know if I could live a plane ride away from family and friends.

Re: Does anyone live away from family & friends?

not like across the country, but my parents are about 2 hours away, and DHs parents are about 5 hours away. we don't have kids yet, and we have a big group of friends who are like family... so its been ok so far.
the only thing is that with my parents, 2 hours is a more reasonable drive for a day, or for just overnight so we tend to be able to go down there more often for my family stuff, etc. BUT Dhs parents being 5 hours away, its a little long of a drive even for a weekend because by the time we get home from work on friday and get out there its like 11 at night, and then we have to leave at a decent time on sunday to get back home for work on monday. so we really only have one full day when we go out there for a weekend. and to have them come visit us is a lot too- planning meals, cleaning, entertaining them, etc,etc.
so we've had some arguments over why we see my family more.... i have a feeling its gonna get worse when we have kids, but we'll deal with that when it comes.

Re: Does anyone live away from family & friends?

Me. I'm not from LI at all. My family all lives in Buffalo. It hasn't been easy, but DH helps me at my weak points and we visit as much as we can!

Re: Does anyone live away from family & friends?

We do. We live in NC and ALL our family and friends are in NY. I thankfully have my brother here, so Im not completely alone but DH just has me. It is def hard, but the flight back to NY is only 1 1/2 hours. No biggie. We are actually coming back to NY next month. It is the best thing we could do for our family. Its much cheaper and a tad slower but for the best.

Re: Does anyone live away from family & friends?

I live away from my family and can ony say one thing about it, THANK GOD!!!!!!!

If I could just get away from her fam then life would be GRAND

Re: Does anyone live away from family & friends?

Posted by TJLealand3

I live away from my family and can ony say one thing about it, THANK GOD!!!!!!!

If I could just get away from her fam then life would be GRAND

Re: Does anyone live away from family & friends?

My entire family is in NY... we're in FL. But, DH's entire family is here in FL (parents, brother/SIL, tons of cousins our age) and my best friend from college lives 10 mins away so that definitely helps!

We would not have moved if we didn't have family/friends in the area already.

Re: Does anyone live away from family & friends?

I found the hardest part about moving far away was convincing employers that you were not going to leave again. It seems that everyone was concerned about that.

We eventually moved back, b/c Dh got a great job offer and I was pregnant and my hormones were pulling at my homesick emotions - otherwise I don't think we would have left.

Re: Does anyone live away from family & friends?

I moved across the country 6 years ago. It was an adjustment, it definitely took some time, but I got used to it after about the first year. When I felt down or homesick, I tried to think of all the cool things I can do being out here that I could never do in NY, and remind myself that the things I miss about NY and the people I can't see today, I can see and do the next time I visit. I still talk to all my good friends and my family members a lot, just it's on the phone or via email instead of in person. And we visit a few times a year, which is that much more special. It helped when some of my family members and friends moved to other places as well - people have to do what's best for them and live their lives, and that includes me. And I did make some new friends here.

Like Erica, I had a couple potential employers question whether or not I planned on staying. And despite buying a house and living in the same community for the past 4-5 years, I feel as though I haven't really "put down roots" here - but I don't know if that's so much because I'm far from the place I grew up, as it is because I'm young yet, don't have kids, work in another town, etc.

I don't have kids yet, and I do wonder how I'll feel at that point if/when I do, raising them away from their grandparents. I can imagine that it might be nice to live closer. But since I'm thousands of miles away right now, closer in my case might even mean a few hours' car ride away!

Re: Does anyone live away from family & friends?

I don't have any family in NC...my friends are ones that I made here after moving.

Just did a 3 day stay in the hospital with my baby. Felt very alone. Now, I am exhasted. I have been going to drs appts, pharmacy, shopping, cleaning...I haven't slept since monday night.

I know if my mother or sisters were around things would be soooooo different.

I also know if I never left NY, I would also be juggling my job right now...so who knows....

its basically flying without a net.

since I took an abulance to the hospital, my car was stranded 45 minutes away at dr office. luckily, DH is super social terrific guy that people love to do favors for.

I did not have my baby till I moved away, so I don't know any different. When I hear of grandparents with the kids, it does sting a bit. I never get a break. My parents are coming next month, DH and I are going away for a few days then. I need it.

eta: my parents want to come down to help, but they also have jobs and my brother is still in HS. it kills them that they aren't here right now.

My dad called at 1:15 aM last night with a nightmare that we were back at hospital. My mother is in therapy over the adjustment. They aren't angry that I moved, they just can't cope with not seeing josh on a regular basis.

Message edited 6/20/2008 8:49:21 PM.

Re: Does anyone live away from family & friends?

I am the opposite- I still live in NY and my family left

my sister to Maryland

my brother and Dad to FL

so I am moving to FL in the next 12 to 18 months

Re: Does anyone live away from family & friends?

DH and I are in Georgia and all of our friends and all of our family are still in NY. We made friends in GA, but to be honest...its not the same.

It's a hard adjustment and through the experience, we realized we'd rather be in NY with our family and friends. We'll be moving back within the next few years.

Re: Does anyone live away from family & friends?

We will be living far away from my family when we move to Charlotte in a few months. However, I don't have much of a family anymore. Both my parents are deceased and my older brother and I arent' close. We rarely speak. (Long story-lots of issues). I will have my best friend and her kids in Charlotte. (I am basically an aunt to those kids and they are like mine). I will also have 2 other friends there and DH will have his best friend there as well, so it won't be a problem. Other friendships that I've had over the years have faded. I will really miss my cousin's wife the most.

Re: Does anyone live away from family & friends?

Re: Does anyone live away from family & friends?

my immediate family is in florida(parents) and two sister are in ny. then i have aunts, uncles and cousins in NY and mass.

Re: Does anyone live away from family & friends?

We moved to CT. It's an easy trip to my parents on LI with the ferry, so I see them relatively often. DH's family lives in PA about 3.5 hours away and I wish they were further. With a baby on the way I get a tinge of sadness knowing that my mom won't be here everyday, which is something I always imagined.

We moved here with only one friend already living here (with his wife) so it has been tough. But for the year that we've lived here they have been very preoccupied with a major family issue (like news coverage big) so we haven't seen them as much as we'd normally see them. It's also been hard to meet people because I work from home. I hope once arrives I'll be able to join some mommy things and meet others in my area. We love it here though - the cost of living is better, we can buy a house sooner than we would on LI or NJ (where we were before this) and it will allow me to stay home with our children. That to me is worth the other sacrifices.

Message edited 6/21/2008 8:28:42 AM.

Re: Does anyone live away from family & friends?

My sister lives in Richmond, VA. SHe had a fine time adjusting when it was just her and her DH, but my niece is 1 and she gets sad that we only see each other 3x per year or so.

DH and I agreed that if we ever decide to leave LI, we would need to be within 2-3 hours of here, so we can drive home for the weekend so we wont miss anything!

But the main reason we stayed on LI was to be close to family.

eta; haha I said 2-33 hours. now thats a long car ride

Message edited 6/21/2008 1:12:54 PM.

Re: Does anyone live away from family & friends?

we moved to NC two years ago.
Both our families live in NY, except FIL, he lives in FL.
In the beginning the adjustment was very hard, b/c we moved down and didn't know anyone.
However, we have made really great friends down here and it has made things much easier.
and now my parents will be moving down by the end of the year to be with their 1st grandchild.
Its def the hardest thing I've ever done...moving away from family and friends...but it was the smartest thing we did financially.

Re: Does anyone live away from family & friends?