Dont flame me - just a thought about labelling parenting styles

Before the Attachment Parenting post goes south, which i'm afraid its going to do...

WHY do people need to identify their parenting style with a specific label? I never heard of the following until I joined this board:

Attachment parenting
CIO
Co-sleeping
Baby wearing (as a philosophy - rather than just something you do because... you do it... its fun and they look cute in the Bjorn!)

Why do we need to name what we do? I mean, sometimes - don't people let their kids cry, sometimes sleep with them in bed, sometimes put them in a crib... whatever - I don;t know - maybe I'm not organized enough to put it all together in a pretty box, but I pretty much parent Cailen thru trial and error.

sometimes he is a screaming little banshee, sometimes he is a sweet little cherub. some nights he sleeps in his bassinet, or his swing, or his bouncy. some nights I can deal with him more and tend to him every time he cries... some nights I'm too tired and let him cry a little and see if he can soothe himself down...

Sometimes he';s in the bjorn, or in his bouncy, or on the boppy...

Honestly, I feel that this kid is pretty much going to grow up ok. I will make my mistakes, but I highly doubt I will raise him to be an axe murderer Regardless of what I do, there will come a time that he will make his own decisions and be his own person and hopefully I will give him the tools he will need to be all that successfully...


Isn't that what parenting is all about? Isn't that why we are all here? We share the same commonality of wanting to be the best parents we can be...




Can't we all just get along?????

Message edited 6/15/2007 8:57:53 PM.

Re: Dont flame me - just a thought about labelling parenting styles

Woot Woot! Give this lady a prize!!!

Totally agree!!!!!!

Re: Dont flame me - just a thought about labelling parenting styles

Posted by PatsBrat

Woot Woot! Give this lady a prize!!!

Totally agree!!!!!!

Re: Dont flame me - just a thought about labelling parenting styles

agreed!!

Re: Dont flame me - just a thought about labelling parenting styles

I think the labels come from the so-called 'experts' who are trying to sell books to frazzled new moms desperate for advice and a good night's sleep!

I think any good mom, and all the moms here, educate themselves on different methods and ideas, and choose what works for them.

Re: Dont flame me - just a thought about labelling parenting styles

I think that, in general, people look to find others like themselves to discuss things with or "feel safe" with, and labeling makes it more convenient to do so, I guess
I think that if you read something and say, "Hey, that's just like me!" and thus use that term to describe how you feel about parenting, then it's convenient to use that term so you don't have to go through a whole spiel of what you believe in. To me, it's a problem if you're flipping through websites and books and magazines in search of a parenting philosophy you'd like to hop on board with. That just seems very un-natural to me, to be honest.

So, in a support, conversational way, I can understand labeling your parenting style so that you can have discussions without having to constantly go through the whole spiel of what you believe in, but I find that many times, people label their parenting style as a way of judging others or showing contempt for other parenting styles, and I can't for the life of me understand why anyone else in this world cares how I parent my child.
And this is just a general statement because I feel, on a whole, very supported here as a parent. So this is not directed to those here. But why do other people care if my child CIO or why do I care if someone else co-sleeps? Everyone is different, every baby is different, and every situation is different. My next baby might need to co-sleep to be a happy baby, who knows?
So, to sum up my ranting post, I can understand labeling yourself so that I can see where you're coming from without hearing the whole explanation for the umpteenth time, but I cannot understand subscribing to a label because you think it's the best way to parent.
Sheesh, who even knows if I just made sense?

Re: Dont flame me - just a thought about labelling parenting styles

Posted by lipglossjunky73

Posted by PatsBrat

Woot Woot! Give this lady a prize!!!

Totally agree!!!!!!

Can the prize be a sleeping baby? One that sleeps all night and wakes up smiling?

Re: Dont flame me - just a thought about labelling parenting styles

Re: Dont flame me - just a thought about labelling parenting styles

I agree with you. And who cares how anyone else is raising their child? As long as the child is healthy, being fed and thriving then the outside world has no right to judge how anyone parents their child.

I also think it is interesting how certain parenting styles come into fashion. I mean, most parenting styles have been around forever, but certain ones come "en vogue" and it becomes very polarizing.

Re: Dont flame me - just a thought about labelling parenting styles

Posted by prncss

I think that, in general, people look to find others like themselves to discuss things with or "feel safe" with, and labeling makes it more convenient to do so, I guess
I think that if you read something and say, "Hey, that's just like me!" and thus use that term to describe how you feel about parenting, then it's convenient to use that term so you don't have to go through a whole spiel of what you believe in. To me, it's a problem if you're flipping through websites and books and magazines in search of a parenting philosophy you'd like to hop on board with. That just seems very un-natural to me, to be honest.

So, in a support, conversational way, I can understand labeling your parenting style so that you can have discussions without having to constantly go through the whole spiel of what you believe in, but I find that many times, people label their parenting style as a way of judging others or showing contempt for other parenting styles, and I can't for the life of me understand why anyone else in this world cares how I parent my child.
And this is just a general statement because I feel, on a whole, very supported here as a parent. So this is not directed to those here. But why do other people care if my child CIO or why do I care if someone else co-sleeps? Everyone is different, every baby is different, and every situation is different. My next baby might need to co-sleep to be a happy baby, who knows?
So, to sum up my ranting post, I can understand labeling yourself so that I can see where you're coming from without hearing the whole explanation for the umpteenth time, but I cannot understand subscribing to a label because you think it's the best way to parent.
Sheesh, who even knows if I just made sense?

Re: Dont flame me - just a thought about labelling parenting styles

Okay this is how I see it....
the labels are really so parents can criticize other parents for what thyey do vs what someone else does. BUT we must be realistic here...the poster from the AP post did nothing to antagonize or mistreat anyone. She was asking a general question...if you felt like you were that type of parent. The answer was yes or no or somewhat. She didnt say which was good or bad but rather what she felt like she was. Honestly, I am sure I am a multitude of wonderful parenting styles including the sucky ones like the "cosleeping witch" but guess what...i dont care because its what I choose to do. In the end its about your day and what you do. Its not like when my child and joe smiths child are in 5th grade on the playground they are going to be talking about if they slept in mommies bed or not.

Re: Dont flame me - just a thought about labelling parenting styles

Re: Dont flame me - just a thought about labelling parenting styles

Posted by prncss

I think that, in general, people look to find others like themselves to discuss things with or "feel safe" with, and labeling makes it more convenient to do so, I guess
I think that if you read something and say, "Hey, that's just like me!" and thus use that term to describe how you feel about parenting, then it's convenient to use that term so you don't have to go through a whole spiel of what you believe in.

Re: Dont flame me - just a thought about labelling parenting styles

Re: Dont flame me - just a thought about labelling parenting styles

Posted by prncss

I think that, in general, people look to find others like themselves to discuss things with or "feel safe" with, and labeling makes it more convenient to do so, I guess
I think that if you read something and say, "Hey, that's just like me!" and thus use that term to describe how you feel about parenting, then it's convenient to use that term so you don't have to go through a whole spiel of what you believe in. To me, it's a problem if you're flipping through websites and books and magazines in search of a parenting philosophy you'd like to hop on board with. That just seems very un-natural to me, to be honest.

So, in a support, conversational way, I can understand labeling your parenting style so that you can have discussions without having to constantly go through the whole spiel of what you believe in, but I find that many times, people label their parenting style as a way of judging others or showing contempt for other parenting styles, and I can't for the life of me understand why anyone else in this world cares how I parent my child.
And this is just a general statement because I feel, on a whole, very supported here as a parent. So this is not directed to those here. But why do other people care if my child CIO or why do I care if someone else co-sleeps? Everyone is different, every baby is different, and every situation is different. My next baby might need to co-sleep to be a happy baby, who knows?
So, to sum up my ranting post, I can understand labeling yourself so that I can see where you're coming from without hearing the whole explanation for the umpteenth time, but I cannot understand subscribing to a label because you think it's the best way to parent.
Sheesh, who even knows if I just made sense?

Re: Dont flame me - just a thought about labelling parenting styles

Re: Dont flame me - just a thought about labelling parenting styles

I don't attach labels to my parenting...I do what works

I look at it like this....I am not in your babys room at 2am and your not in mine so you do it your way and I will do it mine

Re: Dont flame me - just a thought about labelling parenting styles

Posted by Moehick

I don't attach labels to my parenting...I do what works

I look at it like this....I am not in your babys room at 2am and your not in mine so you do it your way and I will do it mine