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emc
The Boys!
Member since 5/05 2065 total posts
Name:
Erin
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Drama at my son's 1st bday party...am I crazy?
LONG story short (you know most of it if you are reading Lisa) my SIL is pg with #3 due in Nov. She never found out what she was having with my first two nieces. This time around she did and told us about a month ago with the statement "don't tell anyone". My Dh and I were at a BBQ with MY fam a week ago and my grandmother asked about SIL, so Dh and I said "she's having XXX". Fast forward to my son's party where both families are together. My aunt says "congratulations, I heard you are having a XXX" (UGH...) SIL responds "Really, how would you know that since it really isn't public knowledge" and drama ensues. Next day she calls Dh and shares how she feels like she can't tell us anything, etc..because she didn't get to tell my BIL yet (who was at the party) yet my family knew already (our families see eachother MAYBE 2 times a year). Was this REALLY soo terrible, should I apologize further than Dh did?
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Posted 8/19/08 5:38 PM  |
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jules
Changing everyday
Member since 1/08 2281 total posts
Name:
julia
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Re: Drama at my son's 1st bday party...am I crazy?
I will be honest and say that if i was your sil i would have been very upset.
I understand that you never thought that this situation would have occurred, but in hindsight i think i would have thought it might come up when the families were together at the bday party and it would have been only natural for your aunt to congradulate her. So i think when telling your aunt i might have said that this was not something she is telling everyone and to keep it a secret
Message edited 8/19/2008 5:51:25 PM.
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| Posted 8/19/08 5:44 PM |
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babydreams
YUMMM
Member since 5/06 1687 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Drama at my son's 1st bday party...am I crazy?
I can see how you would think that telling your family wouldn't matter, but because the other side of the family did find out, you SIL is probably feeling hurt and a little let down that she didnt get to spread the news herself. It wasn't your news to tell. I know that you didn't mean to hurt her feelings or have it get out, but if they told you not tell anyone and it was leaked, then it could not hurt to apologize.
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| Posted 8/19/08 5:45 PM |
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emc
The Boys!
Member since 5/05 2065 total posts
Name:
Erin
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Re: Drama at my son's 1st bday party...am I crazy?
My BIL did not find out...but I see your points. My aunt said it in my kitchen with only me and SIL..
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| Posted 8/19/08 5:47 PM |
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jules
Changing everyday
Member since 1/08 2281 total posts
Name:
julia
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Re: Drama at my son's 1st bday party...am I crazy?
Posted by emc
My BIL did not find out...but I see your points. My aunt said it in my kitchen with only me and SIL..
true but your sil might be then wondering who else knows and IMO that isn't a good feeling either.
It was an honest accident and i would call her to say exactly that. I really don't think the trust factor was ruined and i think she just needs to see the situation for what it is...ACCIDENTAL
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| Posted 8/19/08 5:50 PM |
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emc
The Boys!
Member since 5/05 2065 total posts
Name:
Erin
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Re: Drama at my son's 1st bday party...am I crazy?
Posted by jules
Posted by emc
My BIL did not find out...but I see your points. My aunt said it in my kitchen with only me and SIL..
true but your sil might be then wondering who else knows and IMO that isn't a good feeling either.
It was an honest accident and i would call her to say exactly that. I really don't think the trust factor was ruined and i think she just needs to see the situation for what it is...ACCIDENTAL
That is what I was planning on doing- but my IL's dont respond like 'most' people would. Let's just say that I am more laid back..she announced she was pg with her first the week/night of my wedding And I did't treat her ANY differently
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| Posted 8/19/08 5:56 PM |
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yankinmanc
Happy Days!
Member since 8/05 18208 total posts
Name:
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Re: Drama at my son's 1st bday party...am I crazy?
Do you know what, if she didn't want anyone to know, she shouldn't have told you full stop. She should have kept it to herself, thats the only way she could guarantee real security on the matter
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| Posted 8/19/08 5:58 PM |
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lvdolphins
My Loves!
Member since 5/05 46292 total posts
Name:
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Re: Drama at my son's 1st bday party...am I crazy?
Honestly, I think I'd be a bit hurt.
When I ask someone not to say anything, I hope I can trust them not to.
I know you didn't mean to hurt her feelings. I think I probably would just call and apologize.
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| Posted 8/19/08 5:58 PM |
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jules
Changing everyday
Member since 1/08 2281 total posts
Name:
julia
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Re: Drama at my son's 1st bday party...am I crazy?
Posted by emc
Posted by jules
Posted by emc
My BIL did not find out...but I see your points. My aunt said it in my kitchen with only me and SIL..
true but your sil might be then wondering who else knows and IMO that isn't a good feeling either.
It was an honest accident and i would call her to say exactly that. I really don't think the trust factor was ruined and i think she just needs to see the situation for what it is...ACCIDENTAL
That is what I was planning on doing- but my IL's dont respond like 'most' people would. Let's just say that I am more laid back..she announced she was pg with her first the week/night of my wedding And I did't treat her ANY differently
UGHHHHHHHH.............
Well i think you do what you feel is right and if she wants to hold some silly grudge, let it be her issue not yours 
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| Posted 8/19/08 6:00 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: Drama at my son's 1st bday party...am I crazy?
I would have been upset if I was SIL.
What you can do to remedy the situation Im not sure...but trust was broken.
Just apologize and truly mean it, thats all you can do. Right now your words dont sound very sorry, so she might be reading into that.
Also whatever THEY have done to you, doesnt matter. You can only control your actions, so thats what you have to worry about, apologize for..and they need to MOVE on .
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| Posted 8/19/08 6:04 PM |
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Re: Drama at my son's 1st bday party...am I crazy?
If I was your sister in law I would be so angry,
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| Posted 8/19/08 6:08 PM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
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Re: Drama at my son's 1st bday party...am I crazy?
Posted by architectnycity
If I was your sister in law I would be so angry,
ITA....I think you DEFINITELY need to appologize as well as your dh. Not to be overdramatic but YES...I would be totally hurt.
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| Posted 8/19/08 6:16 PM |
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mom2aidan
2 boys & 1 girl :)
Member since 11/06 1874 total posts
Name:
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Re: Drama at my son's 1st bday party...am I crazy?
Posted by architectnycity
If I was your sister in law I would be so angry,
sorry, but so would I. Hope you can work it out!
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| Posted 8/19/08 7:10 PM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: Drama at my son's 1st bday party...am I crazy?
I would apologize. Although as a PP stated, if she cared that much about it being a secret she could have kept it to herself, the fact of the matter is she trusted you and your husband and you let her down. I think she's probably more upset about the trust being broken than the secret being let out.
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| Posted 8/19/08 7:11 PM |
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MrsGmomof3
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Member since 6/08 3290 total posts
Name:
Irrelevant
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Re: Drama at my son's 1st bday party...am I crazy?
Posted by mom2aidan
Posted by architectnycity
If I was your sister in law I would be so angry,
sorry, but so would I. Hope you can work it out!
I agree.
Sorry.... I hope it gets better!
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| Posted 8/19/08 7:12 PM |
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MelToddJulia
Love my Family!
Member since 7/05 29064 total posts
Name:
Mel
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Re: Drama at my son's 1st bday party...am I crazy?
Posted by racheeeee
Do you know what, if she didn't want anyone to know, she shouldn't have told you full stop. She should have kept it to herself, thats the only way she could guarantee real security on the matter
ITA!!
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| Posted 8/19/08 7:13 PM |
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BaroqueMama
Chase is one!
Member since 5/05 27530 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Drama at my son's 1st bday party...am I crazy?
Posted by emc
My BIL did not find out...but I see your points. My aunt said it in my kitchen with only me and SIL..
Yeah, I'd be upset if I was your SIL, too, HOWEVER I would NEVER respond to someone the way she did! She shouldn't have told anyone because there's always the chance it's going to get out, and it did. She learned her lesson and DH learned his. I'd just let it go.
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| Posted 8/19/08 7:15 PM |
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