Ever feel like you are always the "bad guy"?

DH is driving me crazy with his constant attempt at being a cool dad. It makes me look like a giant witch when I'm trying to do the right thing by this kid! It's so frustrating.

Some recent examples:
He took her to the beach all day and didn't make her wear sunblock because "she doesn't like it". The kid is like Casper the ghost. Are ya kidding? She now looks like Sebastian the Crab instead. Now I get to listen to "My sunburn hurts! Daddy didn't make me wear sunblock" WAAAAAA
(She is old enough to know better and should have done it herself anyway).

We had no OJ for breakfast so apparently coke is an acceptable substitute. Really?

Her room is disgusting. I told him to tell her she had to clean her room. He did it instead.

She really enjoyed the magic cookie bars I made so much that DH let her eat 2/3 of a 9x9 tray of them for dessert.

Seriously what the h ell is wrong with him? Is this just because he's a part time dad or is this typical every dad stuff?

If you have both SC and biological children with your DH, do you see any difference between the way he parents your SC versus how he parents your children?

Re: Ever feel like you are always the "bad guy"?

We had SD for the first 7 years before having our own BC...

I used to think he was quite the softy and often wondered myself if he was just overcompensating and if he would be more of a disciplinarian with our BC that he lives w/ full time...


He's still a softy

I do tend to think that in general, because they don't see their non-custodial children full time that the time spent with them they are more lax because for the relatively small amount of time they get to spend with them , they don't want it to be yelling etc..

I think it may even happen to a degree with parents who work full time and when they get home from work, they just want the time they do get to see their kids during the day and on week-ends to be "happy" kwim ?

It can be quite frusturating
( I remember it well) , but now being a BP myself , I empathize more than I did back then ...

Finding balance is tough

Re: Ever feel like you are always the "bad guy"?

I understand what you are dealing with. My DH is the same softy cool dad when it comes to SD - no rules, no discipline because "she won't want to see me" (his words verbatim!!) The funny thing is he claims he is going to be a strict dad when we have one together...really?? He claims it is b/c his situation with her and BM is unique.

Re: Ever feel like you are always the "bad guy"?

I am always the bad guy. DH feels bad disciplining them because he says that he doesn't have them enough to do so. I think it's ridiculous and I tell him it is his job to raise these boys to be good men, not his friends. I do 99% of the disciplining and the dirty work. I do it because I feel like these boys have absolutely no boundaries or attention at home with their BM and if someone doesn't give them some guidance, then they have no chance in the real world. DH is a good dad but his non-custodial guilt drives me nuts. I know that my oldest DSS thinks I am mean sometimes, he has even told me that I am mean sometimes, but its because he is not used to having rules and I demand that their are rules in my house for my DSS and my BC.