Excessive seperation anxiety/fear of strangers all of a sudden?

DS is 18 months and has been in daycare since 10 weeks old. He's always been great with being passed around, meetin new people, playing with whoever, and playing by himself in his room. They would let him walk around daycare so he could visit all the other rooms and play with the kids and his old teachers.

All of sudden, the last 3 weeks or so, he's developed this incredible fear of other people--not just strangers. They were telling me yesterday that he's been holding onto his teachers leg as he walks down the hall and hiding behind her when other teachers he knows very well approach. I also saw him freak out and start screaming when another teacher he knows very well came into his room and came over to say hi to him. We went to my see my SIL and ILs over the weekend and he freaked out as soon as we walked in the house and saw them and didn't want them to touch him.

Also, the little guy who used to play so well by himself, can't be alone in a room of the house anymore without screaming. If I try and walk away, he cries and follows me or holds onto my pants for the next 10min. It's so bad that I can't put him down to sleep. We spent the last 3 nights taking an hour and a half to get him to sleep because he won't let me leave the room. As long as I'm in the room, he'll lay down and go to sleep. I don't have to hold or rock him and the light doesn't have to be on--just as long as he knows I'm there. I make a move to leave and he flips out. As soon as I come back in, he lays back down on his own and gets quiet.

This came on so all of a sudden and I have no idea how to handle this. He's fine at daycare in the room with his two normal teachers and he can handle it when my DH and I are right next to him. But I especially don't know how to deal with the sleeping issue and if I should try and let him CIO (which did not work the last couple nights) or just sit in there till he falls asleep and ride this phase out.

Anyone else have this kind of phase and how long did it last?

Re: Excessive seperation anxiety/fear of strangers all of a sudden?

I have never experienced new fears to that extent. I hope this phase passes soon.

An idea maybe is to get him something that could "protect" him. Maybe a little picture of you that he could clip to his belt loop or something. So at least he can comfort himself during the day when he is not with you. It may distract him enough when he gets scared that he could calm himself down.

Good Luck!

Re: Excessive seperation anxiety/fear of strangers all of a sudden?

I'm pretty sure this is a phase that you will have to ride out, but I wish I had advice on how best to do it!



As you saw in my earlier post about Thomas moving up in day care, I'm worried about his transition and separation anxiety with me and the teachers he knows and loves.

Last night and one night last week, I had to rock him to sleep, whereas he usually goes down without a peep. Sometimes stays awake playing around and listening to his Rainforest soother for up to an hour, but is always a dream to put to bed. He woke at 3:15 a.m. last night and the same exact thing was happening with Thomas that you described with your son. He would lay in his crib, but wouldn't let me leave. I had to stand next to his crib and eventually I laid on the floor until he fell soundly enough asleep where I could leave. Every time I made a move to leave, he would get hysterical. I'm not sure if it's teething that's waking him (his eye teeth are coming in) or if it's separation anxiety.

I wish I could help, but you are not alone!

Re: Excessive seperation anxiety/fear of strangers all of a sudden?

Thanks ladies.
He wouldn't let me leave again last night. I had to let him just CIO. It took 30min and I was afraid I was going to have to physically restrain my DH from going in there. Hopefully it will be better tonight.

Re: Excessive seperation anxiety/fear of strangers all of a sudden?

is he teething? I know my DD gets very very very clingy especially to me when she is teething.

Re: Excessive seperation anxiety/fear of strangers all of a sudden?

DD went through a stage like this at about the same age...thankfully, it did pass as all of the other "stages" do. hang in there!

Re: Excessive seperation anxiety/fear of strangers all of a sudden?

Re: Excessive seperation anxiety/fear of strangers all of a sudden?

Thomas did the same thing last night again too. It only took 11 minutes of crying, but it was BAD, HYSTERICAL crying...



And then he slept through the rest of the night and didn't wake and do the same thing all over like he did the other night.

Good luck and hand in there!