families visiting question for moms to be who have both parent's and IL's that live out of state

DH and I live in PA. both of our families are still in NY. I don't know how we're going to handle the families coming when the baby arrives. I know they're both going to be estatic and want to come visit as soon as they hear i'm in labor. The problem is usually when they come visit its only either my family or DH's, never both at once. so since we have a 4 bedroom house we have plenty of room for the family to stay with us when its only 1 family.

any advice on what to do when the baby arrives? i don't want to have one family come 1 week and another a different week, but i also feel bad asking them to stay in a hotel but i think those are my only 2 options. what would you ladies do:

1) have the families come at separate times
or
2) let them both come at once but tell they both have to get a hotel

Re: families visiting question for moms to be who have both parent's and IL's that live out of state

I would mention the dilema to both families and let them make their owne decision. IMO- you don't need to be worrying about this. You have enough on your plate, especially once you go into labor and bring baby home.

Re: families visiting question for moms to be who have both parent's and IL's that live out of state

Re: families visiting question for moms to be who have both parent's and IL's that live out of state

bump

Re: families visiting question for moms to be who have both parent's and IL's that live out of state

I have this situation. Our families do not get along either. My mom is coming first and when she leaves, my ILs. My ILs are not staying with us. They are all understanding since we are OOS!

Re: families visiting question for moms to be who have both parent's and IL's that live out of state

Re: families visiting question for moms to be who have both parent's and IL's that live out of state

Re: families visiting question for moms to be who have both parent's and IL's that live out of state

IMO....one word "hotel".... I'd just explain to them that for this time only there are too many people for you to worry about and you want some alone time also in there too with baby, they would of course be welcome to stop by anytime but you need things to be as normal as possible especially at night. That is just what I would do.. and when they come one family at a time then of course they can stay with you...

Re: families visiting question for moms to be who have both parent's and IL's that live out of state

Re: families visiting question for moms to be who have both parent's and IL's that live out of state

My parents are coming first. Once they leave, MIL is coming. Do your parents talk to your in-laws? My mom and MIL had a conversation about how they would work it out a few weeks back. We could fit all of them in the house at once, but it would be too much and I don't think either side has enough $ for a hotel.

Re: families visiting question for moms to be who have both parent's and IL's that live out of state

DH and I now live in FL. In-laws are in NY and so is my dad and two of my siblings. A long time ago DH and I discussed it and I told him no way am I entertaining people and worrying about people staying at the house when we've just come home with a baby. Hotel all the way - my dad completely understood and agrees. My in-laws, I can't tell with them, if they were put off or not, but honestly, I don't care. I also told DH and we will have to tell the families - even though I've sort of discussed with my dad - that I don't want people coming down right away - like the day after I give birth. If we have a boy (we're team green) a bris would be on the eighth day, so family would have to come down by then but if it's a girl - I'd like them to wait a week. I want the time to be with Dh and the baby. My mom lives about 10 minutes away from me in FL and I know she will be around and that's all the family I can handle right away.


ETA - I honestly wouldn't mind if my dad and his gf stayed at my house, but I know I have to play fair - lol. My siblings are going to be at my mom's house.

Message edited 1/18/2010 12:57:02 PM.

Re: families visiting question for moms to be who have both parent's and IL's that live out of state

Both of our families are OOS, we don't have any relatives within 800 miles of us.

When DD was born, it worked out that our parents spaced out their visits. I would've been too overwhelmed if I had more than one family at a time. Some guests are easier than others but having two seperate families there at the same time when DD was that young would've drove me nuts.

I could never ask my parents to stay in a hotel either. It's fine if it's their idea but I wouldn't make them travel here then get a hotel.

So, I would do #1. Let them come at separate times.

Re: families visiting question for moms to be who have both parent's and IL's that live out of state

Here's my honest opinion:

We live in NC--both our families are in NY. We decided that we'd have everyone come at the same time. Well, it would up being a house-full of people and even though they are family, I felt as though they were looking to be entertained.

In our case, NO ONE stepped in to offer to cook, do dishes, etc. and it was just a big headache.

This time, we're going to ask family to wait about 2 weeks or so before they come...and I think the hotel thing is a VERY good idea. You will need your space, especially if you're planning to BF--in the beginning it takes a lot of trial and error, and you'll be most comfortable if YOU'RE comfortable.

Good luck--I know it's a tough situation