Family staying once baby is born?

My mom and MIL want to stay with us once the baby is born to help out. DH will take off of work for 2 weeks. DO i have them come stay after he leaves for work or while he is home with me and the baby?

Message edited 5/7/2007 3:27:19 PM.

Re: Family staying once baby is born?

I would say after. The first few weeks are important bonding time for you, DH & your DC.....jmo

Re: Family staying once baby is born?

I'm having a similar dilema. My mom & sister are from out-of-town (DH's family is all here on LI, so they're not an issue on this one, thankfully!). My mom wants to stay with us for 2 weeks after the baby's born. I definitely want her to be here for the birth & stay for like a week, because I know we'll need the help. As long as doesn't come early, DH will have a much less packed schedule (he's a teacher & will be done with school, but will probably have a part-time summer job), so I really won't be alone too much with baby. I have a relatively small house, and I'm just worried that with my mom at my house, the bonding between DH, me & baby will not be as special with others staying at the house. But, my mom would be a great help, and since she dosen't live here, she'll get to know her granddaughter, so I'm thinking I may ask her to stay a week once the baby's born, and come back a few weeks later for another week, so she can enjoy the baby some more.

Whatever you're comfortable with, make your feelings known. You're not being selfish/greedy if you want help, and you're not being selfish if you don't want the help. That's the way I see it at least.

ETA: I wish it was an option to have my mom stay somewhere else while she's here, so DH & I could have that alone bonding time with , but I'm not going to make her go to a hotel alone and there's no one else here she could/would stay with (we have no family here whatsoever). So I'm still a little torn...

Message edited 5/7/2007 3:32:58 PM.

Re: Family staying once baby is born?

Dh is staying home for a week , then my mom is taking the following two weeks off to help.

Re: Family staying once baby is born?

We just invited my mom and DH's parents to stay with us when the baby comes. We thought about asking them to come a little later (2 weeks or so) but then decided we wanted them here to celebrate with us when she is born. We want them in the waiting room so DH can come out and tell them (hopefully) that all went well, etc.

They are each 10 hours away so they couldn't come for just a day or two. We've invited them for the first week. I figure we could use the help anyway.

Re: Family staying once baby is born?

DH was off all of last week and went back to work today. My parents are just in Manhattan (I am on SI) so they came out like, 3x last week and my mom came today.

My MIL lives in Florida, she is flying up on May 16th. We decided this was best for us b/c she bought the tickets before DS was born (he was due 5/3 and was born a week early, but I accounted for time in case he was late) and because we are moving.

I think it would be nice for them to come after DH goes back to work, or at the end of his time off.

Re: Family staying once baby is born?

DH will be taking off 2 weeks from work..and my Mom will be coming back from Connecticut to stay with us permanently to take care of the baby, and to look for her own place. Chances are ..she won't find her own place..so looks like she's going to be here to stay.

Re: Family staying once baby is born?

i want them there right away. My DH and I will not know what to do, and its nice to have an experienced person helping

Re: Family staying once baby is born?

Re: Family staying once baby is born?

Luckily my parents live only 15 minutes away and my in-laws are only about 5 minutes away...DH is taking a week off once the baby is born, but I still plan on having my mom stay with us for at least the first 3 days the baby is home...that is probably when i will need her here the most bc im sure DH & I will be so overwhelmed...after that, she and my MIL can come during the day (especially once DH goes back to work) but I dont think I'll need them to sleep over -- and if i decide I do thankfully they live so close!!

Re: Family staying once baby is born?

After. Too much adjusting in the beginning. I would wait until dh goes back to work. YOu will know what you're doing and you will probably want some extra help. Having Mother and mil there at the same time can also be tension producing. I would make sure they have separate visits. My in-laws came right after my son was born and it was a disaster. This time they are not coming until the baby is four weeks. I need time to recoop.

Message edited 5/7/2007 8:58:29 PM.

Re: Family staying once baby is born?

My In Laws will be coming and staying until the Bris..Im assuming that they will be staying with us (although they usually get a hotel room near by)..My house isnt all that large but we do have the room for them and they really want to be here....so I dont mind.

I dont really know what to do in your situation though...although Im sure you could use the help it might be a little much having both Mom and MIL...

Re: Family staying once baby is born?

DH will be home with me for 3 weeks but my mom and my MIL will be with us as well.

Also our other family members will be visiting quite regularly. DH and I welcome all the support and help that we will receive.

Re: Family staying once baby is born?

I say after DH goes back to work. I remember when Alex was born I was hesitant about people staying, but I am so glad they did. We were living in Ireland at the time and we were all alone. My MIL was such a big help and then my parents came the next week and it was so nice to have people helping.

Re: Family staying once baby is born?

My mom will be staying with us for 2 weeks after the baby is born. DH is a teacher and I am due right in time for finals and Regents, so he will be back at work the day after I deliver until end of school.

Re: Family staying once baby is born?

Originally my DH was going to take time off first (he only gets a short amount of vacation) then my mom can take some time off to help if I need it. But since there might be complications and she might need surgery we might have my mom come over (they live about 1-2 miles away) first since she was a nurse and can help with special care if I need it then DH will stay after that time. It will depend on whether she needs the surgery to which plan we go with.