Feel like such a bad parent

DD hasn't been able to latch on so I've been pumping milk. In order to save time, DH will feed her my pumped milk while I'm pumping. And while I'm grateful that it cuts down the time I'm doing things, I'm so jealous that he gets to feed her all the time and I never get to since I have to pump. Then on top of it I feel like such a bad mom for thinking that. Any one else feel like that? Is there anything I can do so that I can also feed her?

Re: Feel like such a bad parent

How old is your DC?

Eventually the pumping amount decreases so you can pump less times a day and you will have more time to feed DC!

I pump 4x a day now.
1x before DD wakes up
1x at work
1x after she goes to bed
so I only have to worry about 1x while she is there and now I can interact with her while pumping

Hang in there, it gets easier!

Re: Feel like such a bad parent

She's 8 days old so I've been pumping every 2 hours during the day and every 3 hours during the night.

When were you able to decrease your pumping times? (and it didn't decrease your supply amount? - I'm barely making enough for her to drink as it is).

Re: Feel like such a bad parent

Re: Feel like such a bad parent

Posted by Tilde

I have oversupply but I THINK that people could decrease at around 2 months.

Re: Feel like such a bad parent

this was my life for the first few months. i didn't have enough milk so I was pumping every time he fed. I pumped, we added some formula to the bottle and it seemed like everyone else was feeding him but me (except at night b/c then I would feed, pump, and then sleep for 45 minutes before doing it all again )

my biggest and best suggestion is to put your child to your breast after the feeding/pumping session.

she will eventually learn to latch without the frustration of hunger, and you have that glorious bonding time.

for us, after 3 months of the pumping marathon, I finally started producing enough milk to feed him from the tap and now, when I am home *I* feed him. and I love it.

good luck. it stinks big time. but it is so worth it!!!

Re: Feel like such a bad parent

dont feel like that.
some babies dont get it right away.
there are def other ways to bond with your baby and this is giving your baby a chance to bond with dad. its great that hes helping.
you should pump while near your baby too...this can increase the amount that you are pumping.
after advice that i read here i tried bfing rather than pumping when she was about a month and a half and it worked. i was just pumping in the beginning (but we used formula too)

Re: Feel like such a bad parent

Posted by Ophelia

this was my life for the first few months. i didn't have enough milk so I was pumping every time he fed. I pumped, we added some formula to the bottle and it seemed like everyone else was feeding him but me (except at night b/c then I would feed, pump, and then sleep for 45 minutes before doing it all again )

my biggest and best suggestion is to put your child to your breast after the feeding/pumping session.

she will eventually learn to latch without the frustration of hunger, and you have that glorious bonding time.

for us, after 3 months of the pumping marathon, I finally started producing enough milk to feed him from the tap and now, when I am home *I* feed him. and I love it.

good luck. it stinks big time. but it is so worth it!!!

Re: Feel like such a bad parent

Posted by MrsSpring

dont feel like that.
some babies dont get it right away.
there are def other ways to bond with your baby and this is giving your baby a chance to bond with dad. its great that hes helping.
you should pump while near your baby too...this can increase the amount that you are pumping.
after advice that i read here i tried bfing rather than pumping when she was about a month and a half and it worked. i was just pumping in the beginning (but we used formula too)

Re: Feel like such a bad parent

Have you talked to an lactation consultant maybe they can recommend something for you? Sometimes a nipple shield can help.

I never heard of it till I came on LIF and it was too late, I really wish I did. Nipple shields have helped a lot of moms to BF.

But as with bottles you want to keep trying to breast every day, so that baby gets a chance to learn to latch.
http://www.medelabreastfeedingus.com/tips-and-solutions/112/nipple-shields

Message edited 1/24/2011 11:39:42 AM.

Re: Feel like such a bad parent

Be glad you can feed her. I was devastated my milk never came in fully. I can only pump 1 oz from one side and a half ounce from the other and I pump 6x a day, at least (was pumping 10x a day after every feeding, but it became too onerous to keep up). So we have switched to formula and bottles. She latches great but gets so frustrated there is nothing to eat in there

Being a parent comes with so many challenges. I've learned that in 18 looooong days. But I wouldn't change a thing. What matters most is a healthy child. Once you put it in perspective, you can really enjoy being a mommy, even if it's not going quite how you planned.

Feel better!

Re: Feel like such a bad parent

Posted by fujamaga

Posted by MrsSpring

dont feel like that.
some babies dont get it right away.
there are def other ways to bond with your baby and this is giving your baby a chance to bond with dad. its great that hes helping.
you should pump while near your baby too...this can increase the amount that you are pumping.
after advice that i read here i tried bfing rather than pumping when she was about a month and a half and it worked. i was just pumping in the beginning (but we used formula too)

Did it work because she was older? I was hoping that might be the case with DD too, but the lactation consultant said she's tongue tied so I'm not sure if being older will matter with her.

Re: Feel like such a bad parent

Re: Feel like such a bad parent

Posted by springsandra

Be glad you can feed her. I was devastated my milk never came in fully. I can only pump 1 oz from one side and a half ounce from the other and I pump 6x a day, at least (was pumping 10x a day after every feeding, but it became too onerous to keep up). So we have switched to formula and bottles. She latches great but gets so frustrated there is nothing to eat in there

Being a parent comes with so many challenges. I've learned that in 18 looooong days. But I wouldn't change a thing. What matters most is a healthy child. Once you put it in perspective, you can really enjoy being a mommy, even if it's not going quite how you planned.

Feel better!

Re: Feel like such a bad parent