First Fathers Day Dilemma

My SO and I are exepcting May 1st. This is his first child. Every year SO, his brother and his father go away to some race car thing overnight for Father's Day. This year was going to be no exception. I personally feel when you have a family of your own, things change a little. So now he is afraid of hurting his father's feelings if he doesn't go and I feel like the bad guy for expecting him to be home with our daugther. What would you do? Tell your SO to go or not?

Re: First Fathers Day Dilemma

WE had a similar problem last year but it was me who always goes to brunch with my mother and sister on mother's day. DH was annoyed that I didn't take DS with me but my opinion is that mother's day (or father's day) is a day to do something you enjoy but would not normally do on an ordinaary day!

Re: First Fathers Day Dilemma

Well what happens if you go past your due date? You could have a baby that is only a few days old. I would talk to him about maybe skipping this year and starting up again next year.

Re: First Fathers Day Dilemma

I think I would let him go.

I agree that fathers day is his day and he should do what he wants.

I would feel bad making him miss that tradition with his dad and brother.

Re: First Fathers Day Dilemma

I agree that once you have your family you create your own traditions.

Given that it's his Father's Day, however he should spend it as he wishes.

If he wants to go, I say let him. If he wants to go for a last time with his dad, that's his call too.

Re: First Fathers Day Dilemma

Re: First Fathers Day Dilemma

Although I totally understand how you feel, and know I would feel the same way, I would encourage him to go too. It's his day and he should spend it the way he wants.

Re: First Fathers Day Dilemma

Well, I told him to do what he feels he should do. We don't live together, so I can't really dictate what he does or doesn't do, but it would just be dissapointing if he wasn't around to spend his first father's day with his daughter.

Thanks for the replies!

Re: First Fathers Day Dilemma

I think you should let him go. Father's Day is about him, not about your daughter (at least not until she is old enough to care!)

Re: First Fathers Day Dilemma

Re: First Fathers Day Dilemma

Re: First Fathers Day Dilemma

I think that once you have your own family things change. I dont' think father's day or mother's day is about doing whatever you want that day, it's about spending time with your children. I think he should be with his daughter that day. I thing that his father should understand that he has a family now and can't go away with him every year but instead maybe start a new tradtion. Maybe he can spend the morning with the baby and then they can all spend some time together. For father's day DH spends the morning with DS and then we go to a BBQ at his parents house, so everyone is together.

Re: First Fathers Day Dilemma

Personally, I would let him go for this one, but expect him to stop after this one.

Here is my thinking- every dad loves being a dad. I have no doubt. But I don't think father's day is as important to them as mother's day is to us.

I don't think THIS father's day will be as meaninful as the next few dather's days. Here is my thinking. With a newborn, although it will be his first father's day as a dad, since the baby is so little, she is not so interactive. But next year, when she will be 1 year old, I think father's day will take on a whole new meaning for him. I see how my DH's relationship with DD has changed since as she grows up. At 1 year old she will be hugging him, recognize him and be able to show love to him in a way she can't as a newborn. At 2 she can talk to him and tell him she loves him adn wish him a happy father's day. And so on and so forth...

Basically what I am trying to say is let this be the last father's day when it is all about his father. From then on, he will be the father and I think he will want to spend the time with his child.

Maybe they can make a new tradition that you can all do together?