For those that lost parents to terminal illness..

Do you constantly worry about your own health now? My mom died of terminal cancer and basically her prognosis was a year. It never looked good for her at all. I have always been a worrywart and a complainer but it has gotten to the point that on some days I can barely function worrying about illnesses.

I am constantly worrying that something bad is going to happen, every pain I fear is some sort of cancer ...... What if I have a heart problem etc????

It is almost as I am waiting for "my time" eventually. I just haven't been in a good way and it is all these years later, I am so "uneasy" all the time.

Anyway, enough of my babbling
Can anyone relate? Or am I just totally insane.

Re: For those that lost parents to terminal illness..

I can totally relate. My mom died of cancer in 1989. Ever since then, I secretly assumed that one day I would be afflicted also. It worries me, but strangely I feel like then I could relate to my mom and how she felt about her family. As much as I long to relate to my mom, I hope this never happens to me. Every time I see a commercial on tv about a new cancer drug, or read an article about treatments I think about it. It is always in the back of my mind... but I guess I am always thinking about her

You're not alone

Re: For those that lost parents to terminal illness..

Posted by july0105

I can totally relate. My mom died of cancer in 1989. Ever since then, I secretly assumed that one day I would be afflicted also. It worries me, but strangely I feel like then I could relate to my mom and how she felt about her family. As much as I long to relate to my mom, I hope this never happens to me. Every time I see a commercial on tv about a new cancer drug, or read an article about treatments I think about it. It is always in the back of my mind... but I guess I am always thinking about her

You're not alone

Re: For those that lost parents to terminal illness..

No, you're not insane. My mom didn't technically die of a "terminal illness" but she had a heart problem which she waited WAY to long to look into (not to mention STUPID, STUPID doctors) and after the surgery for that, she had a myriad of other problems, back into the hospital again after 4 years when they FINALLY figured out her stomach pains were an anyurusm not just gas and then proceeded to operate on her and the (did I mention STUPID, STUPID doctors) screwed up which lest her dying in the hopsital for 7 months.
Anyway (sorry for babbling, it's a good thing I'm not a little bitter or anything), yes, I do worry sometimes about having a heart problem. My mom's mom died of a heart attack at 60, and I think most of her sisters as well died before 60. My mom used to say stuff about how she didn't think she'd make it past 60- she died 3 months before her 61st birthday.

So, I worry, and every time I feel a pain, I wonder. A few months ago I was having a weird tightness in my chest, or loss of breath once in a while for a few weeks. I went to the doctor to get a physical, b/c I hadn't had one in a long while, and I told her about it. She gave me an EKG and said it all looked perfectly fine, and I haven't had it again really, but I still wonder, and I still worry.

I know telling you just not to worry won't help to much, but know you aren't alone! I think if you really feel like your worrying is taking over your life, like you can hardly function, maybe you should talk to a professional about it. You don't want to live your whole life under a cloud like that. but worrying in general, I think it's just natural - IMO. But maybe I'm just insane too.

Re: For those that lost parents to terminal illness..

Posted by july0105

I can totally relate. My mom died of cancer in 1989. Ever since then, I secretly assumed that one day I would be afflicted also. It worries me, but strangely I feel like then I could relate to my mom and how she felt about her family. As much as I long to relate to my mom, I hope this never happens to me. Every time I see a commercial on tv about a new cancer drug, or read an article about treatments I think about it. It is always in the back of my mind... but I guess I am always thinking about her

You're not alone

Re: For those that lost parents to terminal illness..

Posted by oneday


No, you're not insane. My mom didn't technically die of a "terminal illness" but she had a heart problem which she waited WAY to long to look into (not to mention STUPID, STUPID doctors) and after the surgery for that, she had a myriad of other problems, back into the hospital again after 4 years when they FINALLY figured out her stomach pains were an anyurusm not just gas and then proceeded to operate on her and the (did I mention STUPID, STUPID doctors) screwed up which lest her dying in the hopsital for 7 months.
Anyway (sorry for babbling, it's a good thing I'm not a little bitter or anything), yes, I do worry sometimes about having a heart problem. My mom's mom died of a heart attack at 60, and I think most of her sisters as well died before 60. My mom used to say stuff about how she didn't think she'd make it past 60- she died 3 months before her 61st birthday.

So, I worry, and every time I feel a pain, I wonder. A few months ago I was having a weird tightness in my chest, or loss of breath once in a while for a few weeks. I went to the doctor to get a physical, b/c I hadn't had one in a long while, and I told her about it. She gave me an EKG and said it all looked perfectly fine, and I haven't had it again really, but I still wonder, and I still worry.

I know telling you just not to worry won't help to much, but know you aren't alone! I think if you really feel like your worrying is taking over your life, like you can hardly function, maybe you should talk to a professional about it. You don't want to live your whole life under a cloud like that. but worrying in general, I think it's just natural - IMO. But maybe I'm just insane too.

Re: For those that lost parents to terminal illness..

My mom had a very rare and aggressive type of breast cancer. She went for her mamography every year yet it went undetected. My chances for having it are very high and I know that. We have discussed doing genetic testing to see what that shows but for me I am not ready to know 100%. For now I am living my life and enjoying my family. What else can you do?

Re: For those that lost parents to terminal illness..

Message edited 7/11/2006 4:05:39 PM.

Re: For those that lost parents to terminal illness..

My Mom had non- hodgkins lymphoma- and even though it's enviromental and not heridiarty - I think I am going to get sick one day

I freak out- my Dh doesn't like me drink tap water

my sister all freaked and go tested for everything under the sun

I think it's normal-

Re: For those that lost parents to terminal illness..

omg yes all the time, I was a hypochondrian before but now its eveN moreso. I worry constatnly of getting sick and leaving my son motherless and not having any memory of me nad how much I love him. Its really hard, I am such an axious person and when my mom passed I started having some real anxiety that affected me physically. It comes and goes but when its in full force it can dominate my thinking.

Re: For those that lost parents to terminal illness..

My mother died of cancer when I was 16 (1995) and I think about her everyday. I never stop and worry because I have learned through that experience along with the loss of my father in (2003) that there are no guarantees. It is quite possible to die tommorrow on the LIE or to die of breast cancer 20-30 years from now. I try to live each day to the fullest because today is called the present for a reason, its a gift and tommorrow is never a guarantee.

Maybe I am weird or have done too much meditation and yoga..but that is my perspective.

Re: For those that lost parents to terminal illness..

I lost both of my parents to cancer when they were relatively young. I worry about it to the extent that I try to eat more healthfully, and am doing preventative things (had my first mammogram this year, will have my first colonoscopy at 40 probably).

But, I agree with Emily, that anything can happen. I had a family member who had breast cancer, had a mastectomy and went into remission. she died in a car accident after being in remission for more than 5 years, when the docs thought she was free and clear. Tomorrow is promised to no one, and I don't want to worry too much, and risk missing out on the joy in life.

Message edited 7/11/2006 8:20:30 PM.

Re: For those that lost parents to terminal illness..

well said Emily and dipli

my fear is actually more dying young and leaving my DH and future childern- I guess b/c I know how hard that would be since I live it

Re: For those that lost parents to terminal illness..

yes, my mom died of cancer also....im petrified i dont want the same to happen to me, and leave my kids

Re: For those that lost parents to terminal illness..

Message edited 1/30/2009 10:38:30 AM.

Re: For those that lost parents to terminal illness..

My mom dies of breast cancer at 36...I constantly worry about my own health as well as my sister's health. I have been going for breast sonos and mammographies since I was 21. Its really hard

Re: For those that lost parents to terminal illness..

Although both me & my Dh lost our fathers to lung cancer, tis not the one that scares either of us. His mother passed away last Nov and was in the very advanced stages of Alzheimers. I met my DH in 1998 and it was sad to see her downward spiral until her mind was completely gone. When I see videos of her from before I knew him, its even more heartbreaking, she was so full of life. It runs in her family - several siblings had it, all but 1 have since passed away. I know my DH and his siblings are so afraid of going down the same path. I worry as well of course. At least its not a disease where the person physically suffers but it's so sad and scary nonetheless.

Re: For those that lost parents to terminal illness..

For some reason no. It's really weird.

Re: For those that lost parents to terminal illness..

I can - I lost my mom 5 years ago to breast cancer and i'm paranoid that i'm going to die of it too. I know this is really, really bad but sometimes DH talks about what we'll be doing when we're in our 70s and I'll say, I'll be dead at 50 (my mom's age at death).

My body is very simliar to my mom's and that scares me. but, i'm doing everything i can. i go to a breast doctor twice a year for a check up.

Re: For those that lost parents to terminal illness..

my mom passed away from breast cancer...I worry everyday and I have been getting sonos and mammographies since I was 21. I also recently went for genetic testing...lets just say that within the next year, I am going take more aggressive steps

Re: For those that lost parents to terminal illness..

Randj0806- you sound JUST like me