For those who moved away from family...

How did you do it? My dh and I have a really great opportunity to move to NC next month. It has all happened so quickly that feel like I have no time to think. I am very excited to leave the Island because imo, it has become very overpriced and overcrowded. But my parents are here and I have been with them pratically my whole life. They have lived in the same house for over 25 years and I know they will never leave. So moving is going to be one of the hardest things for me. We will be moving very close to my dh's family which will be such a shock to my system. Has anyone moved away from close family that can share some words of encouragement?

Re: For those who moved away from family...

Message edited 12/27/2006 7:46:34 PM.

Re: For those who moved away from family...

I can't exactly relate, but, my parents moved about a year ago, 2 hours away. For a while I would cry at random times, like when I couldn't just grab my mom and go get our nails done, ice cream, the mall. So, you miss the everyday things and it does hurt. But, if DH's family is close by, that might help a bit. My MIL is fantastic and knows that it's hard for me at times with my mom away. Do you guys get along? Can you look to her as a very close relative to spend time with?

Message edited 6/6/2006 8:50:55 AM.

Re: For those who moved away from family...

I moved 3,500 miles and an ocean from home, away from my parents and friends. I moved on my own but luckily my sister is here and I was able to live with her for a few months until I got settled and I got my own place.

All I can tell you is that if you feel ready, it's time. I had always had the opportunity of coming to the US, but there was something holding me back. Suddenly, when I was 31, I decided to take the plunge and it was the best decision ever.

I think it should be easier to move when you and your DH are doing it together. It's exciting that you have such a great opportunity and NC is just a road trip away.

Of course I miss my parents and friends but we talk, email and visit as often as possible. You never know what the future holds. When you are settled perhaps your family members might be tempted to move too!

Re: For those who moved away from family...

I did it...moved to Georgia and left everyone behind. I only have SIL and we don't see her all that often.

It was hard but my family gave their support because they understood that for us to thrive on our own, we had to leave NY. I was sad and lonely at first, but now I've made friends and LOVE the life we've created. I love that it's just DH, me, and our daughter.

You'll be fine moving away and once you see how easy it is to live outside NY, you'll be glad you did. I still miss my family and best friends but building our own life was WAY more important.

Re: For those who moved away from family...

I moved by myself a couple of times. The first time all the way out west (which I do not recommend..LOL) Then I moved back close to my parents for a while. Now I am about 5 hours drive away. I am FINE with this. The only thing I miss are my brothers (I Have 6) and my neices and nephews, so a lot of time off is spent visiting them.

I personally LIKE the distance, but I am and always have been very independent, so it was easy for me. I moved out at 18 and never looked back.

Re: For those who moved away from family...

We moved closer to my family, but almost 1000 miles away from DH's. I'm not that close to my fam, although that is changing and was a great perk! DH on the other hand is SUPER attached to his entire family. It's been a lot harder on him.
We need to focus on this when we're down: we're young and can afford to do this now; we have good jobs that allow us to afford nicer things than in NY (like he just bought me a brand new car); we own a HOME and it's almost 4000 sq ft and we paid less than $250K for it; we can have a family sooner rather than later; we can both finish college because work stays at work and they encourage you to have an "outside" life...and then we also think about his family moving down here one day. And we can't wait for them to visit and spend time with us. It was the hardest decision of our lives...but the key word is our. Just like our parents made their life, now it's our turn. And you never know, your parents may not be so keen on staying on LI forever...once they see you set up, happy and how they could live off their retirement and be comfortable...it may all change!

Good luck...and feel free to FM should you want to chat more...

Re: For those who moved away from family...

like Baghag I am about to me the only one left in NY in my family

my brother lives in florida and my Dad is moving there

and my sister is moving to Maryland this weekend

my Grandma winters in florida

I am very close with everyone in my family- but in this day and age you don't have to be physically close to them - to communicate

NC is close - a short plane ride away- they can visit- do what's best for you!

Re: For those who moved away from family...

I moved to Florida 2 years ago. I'm very close with my parents, but I knew they'd be moving here eventually. It has't been that easy on me, much easier on DH. I see my parents often (they come here probably once a month, and we come to NY a couple times a year), but i miss my friends. Meeting people at work is just not the same as having the close girlfriends that I grew up with. That being said, I definitely think we made the right choice in moving. We bought a house right away, both got good jobs, and when I get pg, I am pretty sure we'll be able to afford it on just one salary for a little while so I can stay home (things we would never have been able to do in NY). We picked up and moved with barely any family here, knowing that if we were miserable we could always move back. I say take a chance!!

Re: For those who moved away from family...

Re: For those who moved away from family...

I did. We just came to the point where we realized it was the best move for us for our future. However I knew that eventually my parents might consider leaving NY so it was a bit easier knowing that. We knew no one here when we moved, it was a huge adjustment and I missed my family like crazy. The trips home were frequent and hectic trying to visit everyone - but now 4 yrs later I can say it's one of the best things we've ever done. We have such a better quality of life than we could on LI. And my parents are now 2 miles away!!!! Good luck w/your decision!!

Re: For those who moved away from family...

We haven't moved yet but we are in contract to build a house and will be moving in early 2007. I anticipate it will be difficult. We are moving closer to my family and away from DH's. DH really wants to leave NY because we don't feel that we can provide the same life for our children that our parents provided for us. Don't get me wrong I love NY but I do not want to live to pay a mortgage. We decided because we need to do what is best for us. We would like to try to start a family next year and if we stay here, it would be at least another 3 years before we could afford to do that. Regardless of the pro's, there are going to be cons. I will miss my friends and Dh's family because we are very close with them. You need to weigh the options and decide what is better for your family. Good luck in deciding.

Re: For those who moved away from family...

We did it. We had moved to Massachusetts, but it was a little different because we knew it was only for a few years. It was still REALLY hard because I am extremely close with my family. I see my sister quite a few times a week and my parents, too, and like you, I had never really left NY or my family before, so it was so hard. Although we ended up moving back to NY, and will be staying, I will tell you the things I really miss about living away from everyone...
I miss that it was just JT and I there. Not that I don't love having our family and friends around, but it strengthened our relationship so much to only have each other. It was like we had this little family unit finally that we would not have had if we just stayed here.
I miss meeting new people. Not that I don't meet new people on LI, but I felt I was so much more open-minded and so much more out of my shell when I lived in MA because no one knew me. THe chance of connecting me to my life on LI was slim to none, and I liked that feeling of a fresh start.
I miss the price of food Silly, I know, but it was so much cheaper there! That was about the only thing cheaper, though, but you will be happy when you see how much more affordable NC is.
I miss having people visit and having it MEAN something. Not just everyday interactions that we take for granted. I felt I had more quality time with the people I care about because it was less frequent that we saw them.
Good luck with your decision!!! HTH!

Re: For those who moved away from family...

me and DH (he was my bf at the time) moved from long island to charlotte 2 years ago. If was definitely hard leaving my whole family (who I am very close with). I when I pulled away from my house. But I do not regret the move. It took some adjusting but we are very happy that we moved and have just purchased our 1st own home (something we would NEVER be able to do in long island)

Good luck

Re: For those who moved away from family...

I moved to Colorado when I was 19 for 5 years. It was exciting and fun and I really never wanted to come back!!


I definitely plan on moving back out of state in 7-10 years when my kids are school age.


Its a great opportunity! You will miss your family but it brings you closer because they will miss you!!

Re: For those who moved away from family...

Thanks everyone! I think I already knew I wanted to leave, but just felt better having some reassurance from others who have gone through it. My dh and I have decided to move to N.C., but need to finalize some stuff within the next few weeks. Wish me luck!

Re: For those who moved away from family...

DH and I are also moving out of state. I am feeling a lot of the same feelings you are too! I have been around my family my whole life-while i am not so close to them, I still feel bad leaving them. Dh's family also lives here. I agree with the other posters, it's nice to start a life with just you and DH and your family. It's hard to move, but if that's what is right for you and DH, then go for it!

Much luck on your decision and move. PLease feel free to FM me any time if you need to talk!

Re: For those who moved away from family...

I really think it depends on how close you are with your family. I moved to London with DH 3 days after our wedding. I've been here a little over two years now and it's still really hard for me. I'm ALWAYS thinking about moving back home (we plan to in a few years) and living close to my family. Although DH has a lot of friends here, I've found it difficult to make friends of my own, and while it's nice that I've become a bit closer to his family, they're nothing like mine and I really miss being part of a big, noisy, FUN family!!

It also depends on your priorities. I feel right now that London is just as, if not more expensive than New York, so to me there's really no point in being here and I often think about how we'd be much better off in NY.

Sorry to be such a downer...think I'm having an especially difficult day...