For those who told earlier than 12 weeks...

As you guys may know we were planning on waiting until Thanksgiving to tell. I am seeing my mother this weekend, and DH think that she will know right away (and i agree). So we resolved to tell her. DH then thinks that we should tell his parents too, but they have very loose lips & we did not want the ENTIRE family to know yet.

So my question is, for those of you that told earlier than 12w, were any of you able to keep it within just your immediate families?

Thanks

Message edited 10/27/2006 12:59:20 PM.

Re: For those who told earlier than 12 weeks...

Ummmm.... no. But bless their hearts, they TRIED to keep it under wraps.

But with us, matters were complicated in that my brother and SIL are ALSO pg and due a few weeks before we are- so it got confusing for my parents when people congratulated them on the new arrival. They slipped up a few times- so now everyone knows.

Honestly, I'm not exactly broadcasting it- but I haven't really felt the need to keep it quiet. I just figure, if anything goes wrong, we'll deal with it then.

Re: For those who told earlier than 12 weeks...

My family was threatened with their lives not to tell a soul. We told our parents and sibling as soon as I had the BFP.

We told them that if the cat gets out of the bag we wouldn't tell them a thing or include them in the pg, let alone tell them when i get pg again.

That was enough, harsh, but it worked, none of them told a soul, and were bursting when i hit my 12th week of pg. They even asked me after that if they could tell now.

Re: For those who told earlier than 12 weeks...

It comes down to 2 things with us:
- DHs immediate family is VERY intrusive & I kind of like the fact that we are enjoying this by ourselves right now
- there are some members of DHs extended family that would be, um, less than supportive of it, and heaven forbid something goes wrong they will not be nice about it. (They already have made comments before about how I am too old & we missed our chance, blah, blah).

We also were not planning, not for a long time, if ever. I O'ed later than I though I had that month & the calendar method backfired. I know they will be very snotty, like "Oh I thought you didn't want kids." I just don't want to deal with it, especially in the earlier weeks.

Re: For those who told earlier than 12 weeks...

Posted by sweetness

My family was threatened with their lives not to tell a soul. We told our parents and sibling as soon as I had the BFP.

We told them that if the cat gets out of the bag we wouldn't tell them a thing or include them in the pg, let alone tell them when i get pg again.

That was enough, harsh, but it worked, none of them told a soul, and were bursting when i hit my 12th week of pg. They even asked me after that if they could tell now.

Re: For those who told earlier than 12 weeks...

Posted by Trouble

It comes down to 2 things with us:
- DHs immediate family is VERY intrusive & I kind of like the fact that we are enjoying this by ourselves right now
- there are some members of DHs extended family that would be, um, less than supportive of it, and heaven forbid something goes wrong they will not be nice about it. (They already have made comments before about how I am too old & we missed our chance, blah, blah).

We also were not planning, not for a long time, if ever. I O'ed later than I though I had that month & the calendar method backfired. I know they will be very snotty, like "Oh I thought you didn't want kids." I just don't want to deal with it, especially in the earlier weeks.

Re: For those who told earlier than 12 weeks...

Re: For those who told earlier than 12 weeks...

No, they blabbed, blabbed, and blabbed to everyone!

Re: For those who told earlier than 12 weeks...

Yes, with both pregnancies our parents didn't tell anyone until we told them we were ready.

Re: For those who told earlier than 12 weeks...

yes. we told immediate family only and to PLEASE not tell anyone else until we knew everything was ok at our sonogram (with DD). This PG, DH went and told the whole world!

Re: For those who told earlier than 12 weeks...

We told my his parents and my dad, as well as his sister and 3 of my friends. All of these people have vaulted the information until we are ready to spill. I find it VERY hard not to tell everyone I know.

Re: For those who told earlier than 12 weeks...

no way. The whole world knew. Immediate fam will only tell one person, that person tells..and so on.

Staten Island is a very small place though. Within 3 days, everyone knew. My sister told a girl at work, the girl went home and told her mother, who I use to work with. Everyone at my old job knew then.

I came out to them, maybe week 11...they laughed and said they knew the day I peed on the stick.

Everyone at church knew. I think I only told my DH, sister, and mother.

Re: For those who told earlier than 12 weeks...

No one knows for us this time (well except DH's boss/friend and my two girlfriends), because as soon as I told my mom the first time she blabbed to everyone the next day. She was just excited, but we know to wait with her!


I know it's tough - we are going throught he 1st right now too, but it will be over before you know it!

Re: For those who told earlier than 12 weeks...

Unfortunately, no. My mom told all of her co-workers, my dad told the neighbor, my MIL told a dear friend of hers, and the waiter at the restaurant where we told them!

Re: For those who told earlier than 12 weeks...

I felt the same way..We tried to keep it quiet as long as we could. We told our parents and close friends before 12 weeks but wasn't sure if they would be able to keep it a secret, they surprised us, and were able to. The one person I had to tell was my Aunt, who I work with, and she was the one who just could not keep a secret. I asked that she not tell til after 12 weeks. Friends of hers actually called my dh mother saying oh so you are going to be a grandma again. All I could think was good thing we told my dh parents. We really learned who we could and could not trust.

Re: For those who told earlier than 12 weeks...

As far as I know both sets of parents kept quiet. They knew I was high risk and I had a lot of bleeding in the beginning. So I think they were very sensitive to the fact that I was scared to miscarry and have to "untell" people.

Re: For those who told earlier than 12 weeks...

On my side yes, my mom kept quiet for 2 weeks until my dad came home then she told my sister and brother and grandmother (they were on vacation and my dad was flying home that day). My inlaws on the other hand told right away and I wasnt to happy because I was only 6 weeks.

Re: For those who told earlier than 12 weeks...

Nope, though I think DH's parents were able to keep it to themselves longer.

I told my family the first time I saw them in person, and before I could say, "Please wait to tell people for a little while" my mom was literally out the door and across the street at her neighbors. When she came back, she called my aunt and her best friend. It was hard to be annoyed because she was so excited, but it still made me a little anxious.

Re: For those who told earlier than 12 weeks...

NO! I told my mom and five minutes later my phone was ringing off the hook! But PERSONALLY, I don't feel I could ever keep that from my family and I don't see the point. Godforbid I had a miscarriage, I would need my family's support, and they would know then anyway. So I didn't see the purpose in not telling them. The only people I waited on was work.

Re: For those who told earlier than 12 weeks...

My parents kept it a secret until we released them from it. I am not sure about my IL's since they live in Poland. I didn't get any messages until after we said it was okay, but who knows.

Re: For those who told earlier than 12 weeks...

We told our parents and siblings and they did a GREAT job of not saying anything. I couldnt wait the 12 weeks..I started telling people after my 8 week Dr. appt.
We figured, the more we tell, the more support we have.

Re: For those who told earlier than 12 weeks...

NOPE! once we told our parents...we told everyone. We were the ones with the loose lips. But hey since you are telling your parents and his parents this week....How about the LIF preggo girls

Re: For those who told earlier than 12 weeks...

no we were not able to keep it within the immediate family. the grandparents-autn-uncles were way too excited to holdit all in. good luck.