For those with siblings with kids

When it comes to YOUR parents, do you ever feel left out of planning or that plans are made and you are just told where and when? Like it has to be OK with the family with kids first?
Not looking for drama...just thoughts.

Re: For those with siblings with kids

by your post - i'm guessing you are feeling left out of things. that has to stink.

my only siblings that lives within 3 hours of my parents and has kids, lives with them in their house. my bro and his BM split custody of the kids, so they are there a lot.

luckily whenever we plan on doing anything as a family -- like dinner or something out -- for whatever reason...my parents are always making sure that all of us are included. my sister lives in queens and is CF, so we try and include my brother and his kids as much as we can, with our parents.

Re: For those with siblings with kids

Yes, absolutely. All events (my side of the family) are planned around my nephews napping schedule. I completely understand the need for him to have a nap (he is 2.5 yo now). But I can't always make my schedule around his nap, nor should I have to. So if I can go, I go, but I am not always going to rearrange my life around his napping.

With all the cr*p I've had from DH's family in the past (before they knew we had IF issues and 3 m/cs ), I have to say my SIL does not do this.

Re: For those with siblings with kids

We typically leave the planning up to the person hosting. Since it's at their house, they should get to say when. At least, to us. And since we were never in a position to house 18 adults & children, we never dictated time or day.

I don't know if this is 'normal' but I would say that during the spring and summer months, we spent about 3 out of 4 weekends with family. My sisters have the biggest houses, and the schedule.

Re: For those with siblings with kids

Well, in my family we have set days. For example, my dad has off on Thursdays and Sundays so every single Thursday and most Sundays my brother and sister come over for dinner. It is up to me to make sure that I am free those days. This really works for us and I love seeing them once or twice a week!


But I have to LOL at the nap post b/c I have a family member like that too . . . where we had to change our holiday eating schedule due to nap time

Re: For those with siblings with kids

I never feel left out...but i know that we usually coordinate around my brother's 3 kids...since they have all kinds of activities...which i must laugh at sometimes...when we were kids you just went out and played..your social life wasn't organized for you

Re: For those with siblings with kids

YES! My sister has 5 children and I am always the last to find out when there is a birthday party, BBQ or fish fry planned.

I cant tell you how much she makes me feel like Aunt Jackie sometimes (on Roseanne )

Re: For those with siblings with kids

Posted by RocPin


I cant tell you how much she makes me feel like Aunt Jackie sometimes (on Roseanne )

Re: For those with siblings with kids

yes and no

i wouldn't call it being "left out" but DH's family def gives his sister more attention - but she has two kids (who are so adoreable!! my nephew is 2.5 and my new niece isn't even a week old yet!!) but i feel like that is how its supposed to be - they are grandparents now so it makes sense for them to be more focused on his sister's family and to plan things around them....

also she is the oldest and the daughter so i think that sometimes commands more attention on its own - even without kids.....thats just something i've observed in other families including my own (im the oldest in my family and i could see how my sister might feel i get more attention and things are sometimes planned around me - but in my case it has to be since my parents and sister live out of state).....

DH and i have a joke - that babies trump everything and anything i dont know, we laugh it off, its not that serious to take it to heart...we are glad this his sister will have the first set of grandkids - hopefully it wont be as intense when its our turn

Message edited 3/25/2009 11:00:22 AM.

Re: For those with siblings with kids

I have to say we have a A LOT of little ones in my family and we very rarely schedule anything around nap time.

Once in a while if it is just going to the mall or something non-important my sister will say do you mind if we go after nap time but other then that the kids work around everyone else's schedule. Either they will nap in the car, stroller or where ever we are or they skip a nap that day.

Re: For those with siblings with kids

my brother has 7 year old twins and yes my parents do things with them and i might not be invited only because I have work. My parents kinda go there and have to sleep over or if they come here they stay at my parents house and I usually go over there and hang out with them all. When they do outings as long as I am not working I always join because I can help out because my parents get tired and need naps IoI

Oddly enough my parents spend more time with me then my brother or their grandkids. My mom even says you might not have kids ever and that is fine with me, less kids to babysit. I guess that is why I am not into kids as much as I used to be because my parents are not so into them since they have grandkids now.

Re: For those with siblings with kids

Re: For those with siblings with kids

I have lots of nieces and nephews but fortunately we are never left out of anything with our immediate family. I do notice that a lot of my husband's cousins don't invite us to events that are "kid centered" because we don't have kids yet. Sometimes I feel bad because I know my husband would like to see his extended family more but other times I don't mind being spared a few hours at Chuck E. Cheese!

Re: For those with siblings with kids

Well lets just say that all holidays, dinners, etc revolve around SIL'S family, they are the ones with kids. They make us seem inferior b/c we are childless, as if we have no schedule.

Re: For those with siblings with kids

My MIL goes to South Jersey every Christmas to spend the day with the grandchildren. The rest of us won't go because the last time we did we spent 10 hours in the car round-trip. It wasn't much of a holiday for us.

We can't wait to see what happens when we have kids.