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limomof1
LIF Infant
Member since 6/06 124 total posts
Name:
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Foster care/ Adoption
Anybody on here do foster care? Any suggestions on Adoption?
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Posted 6/26/06 12:37 PM  |
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Susan
Loving Mommyhood!
Member since 5/05 2391 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: Foster care/ Adoption
Ibelieve Sandra fostered two girls. I personally have not fostered any children but my cousin has (and continues to). She actually has adopted one child that she has fostered. If you have have any specific questions, just let us know. Good Luck!
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| Posted 6/26/06 1:27 PM |
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michele31
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3372 total posts
Name:
Michele
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Re: Foster care/ Adoption
Do you want to foster and then adopt those children? Or are you looking for advise on both ideas?
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| Posted 6/26/06 3:30 PM |
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limomof1
LIF Infant
Member since 6/06 124 total posts
Name:
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Re: Foster care/ Adoption
My Husband and I are going with the intention to foster and hope to fall in love with a child who will eventually be up for adoption. I know there is Foster to adopt and fostering, but i dont want to get my hopes up by doing foster to adopt, so we are starting off with just fostering.
How does Sandra like being a foster parent?
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| Posted 6/26/06 5:32 PM |
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Susan
Loving Mommyhood!
Member since 5/05 2391 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: Foster care/ Adoption
maybe you can send her an FM? She doesn't foster anymore. She's adopting from China now.
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| Posted 6/26/06 8:01 PM |
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michele31
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3372 total posts
Name:
Michele
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Re: Foster care/ Adoption
I just want to say that it is wonderful that you want to foster. You will make a difference in this world! Please let us know how it is going. I am always very interested in forstering.
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| Posted 6/26/06 8:38 PM |
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Sandra
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 1185 total posts
Name:
Sandra
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Re: Foster care/ Adoption
Posted by limomof1
My Husband and I are going with the intention to foster and hope to fall in love with a child who will eventually be up for adoption. I know there is Foster to adopt and fostering, but i dont want to get my hopes up by doing foster to adopt, so we are starting off with just fostering.
How does Sandra like being a foster parent?
I am here...hmmm...Last August we hosted 2 girls (sisters) from the Ukraine w/ the 'intention' of adopting them. Luba was 8 and Vera was 10 and spoke no english; except for CocaCola, McDonalds and No. The experience started off beautiful, as they are beautiful girls w/ a horrible history/life. But as the time went on their true colors started to shine and their stay became a mini nightmare and DH was even giving up and he does not throw in the towel-ever. I was on the fence about adopting them at that point where DH was not going to abondon them. We were very stressed. I wasn't expecting 2 perfect girls, I was anticipating issues, behavioral issues, abandoment issues, health issues, etc....but in my gut I was not comfortable with moving forward. When the time came to tell the agency our final decision "YES" (yeah, we decided on moving forward)...the Ukraine had stopped accepting adoption applications. So it was like god intervening on our behalf and our guilt was lifted just a tiny bit. We didn't really foster them, but we hosted them for 3 wks (or 2wks +) it was a trial run and we are glad for the experience. We were happy to give them a glimpse of America. But on the otherside, as they get older their chance of adoption is less and less which is so sad. IF I was able to be a SAHM, then it would be easier to sacrifice and give of myself all that they needed---but it would not be fair to them b/c I have to work and they wouldn't be able to get ALL of me and at the ages of 8 & 10, coming to a foreign country I couldn't imagine putting them in after school programs or w/ a babysitter ---it was so hard to decide what to do---but we had said Yes to the agency in the end...and well, now we are adopting a baby from China we know this is the path we were suppose to take. I would foster if I did not work FT. But our experience was a hosting program. Did any of this help? Let me know, and feel free to FM if you would like.
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| Posted 6/26/06 8:54 PM |
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limomof1
LIF Infant
Member since 6/06 124 total posts
Name:
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Re: Foster care/ Adoption
Sandra, We have looked at international adoptions and I found China as a place i would want to adopt from, If I was the right age to adopt through china I would, unfortintley i am 28 right know, and the adoption is age 30 and up.
My husband is 35. Therefor that leaves us with domestic adoption, and its costley, just like international. By the time i adopt anyway i may be 30, so we will have to see. I hear fostering can be hard, and I should not get attached to the kids, as they probably wont stay with us in the long run.
If you dont mind me asking, who are you going through for China adoption?
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| Posted 6/26/06 9:45 PM |
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Sandra
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 1185 total posts
Name:
Sandra
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Re: Foster care/ Adoption
Posted by limomof1
Sandra, We have looked at international adoptions and I found China as a place i would want to adopt from, If I was the right age to adopt through china I would, unfortintley i am 28 right know, and the adoption is age 30 and up.
My husband is 35. Therefor that leaves us with domestic adoption, and its costley, just like international. By the time i adopt anyway i may be 30, so we will have to see. I hear fostering can be hard, and I should not get attached to the kids, as they probably wont stay with us in the long run.
If you dont mind me asking, who are you going through for China adoption?
We are using New Beginnings like Susan and TTsmom...and let me share that DH's sister adopted a BEAUTIFUL HEALTHY baby girl domestically and it was less expensive than the China program we are doing. They were present at the birth and the mother lived in Rochester. I know they are surprised that we didn't follow the domestic path like they did...but I my personality is that ---I would not have been able to handle the process emotionally..whereas China's process is more or less set in stone and you know what you need to do when where and why. My SIL used a local adoption attorney.
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| Posted 6/26/06 10:20 PM |
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limomof1
LIF Infant
Member since 6/06 124 total posts
Name:
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Re: Foster care/ Adoption
Hello,
I Just found out that the foster agency i was going to use, does not have the ages i am looking for to foster. Since my daughter is 5 I wanted under that age.
I am so upset, We dont have the money to adopt, and I cant get pregnant, I am going to look around at other agency's for fostering, but if anybody knows of a place to use please let me know.
Thank you.
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| Posted 6/27/06 3:30 PM |
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Sandra
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 1185 total posts
Name:
Sandra
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Re: Foster care/ Adoption
Posted by limomof1
Hello,
I Just found out that the foster agency i was going to use, does not have the ages i am looking for to foster. Since my daughter is 5 I wanted under that age.
I am so upset, We dont have the money to adopt, and I cant get pregnant, I am going to look around at other agency's for fostering, but if anybody knows of a place to use please let me know.
Thank you.
we don't have the $ either to adopt, but believe me when I say that it just shows up (the $$) when you need it and then there is the $10,500 tax credit and you don't pay all at once. We are expecting one more invoice and then until we get the referral (over a yr from now???) we won't be paying out anything.
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| Posted 6/27/06 4:01 PM |
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michele31
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3372 total posts
Name:
Michele
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Re: Foster care/ Adoption
Have you considered Ethiopia? They have children in every age range and boys/girls and healthy. I am using Wide Horizons, www.whfc.org
Here is the NYState foster care system info page. I am sure they can help you figure this out. They NEED foster parents so you will find a way to become one.
http://www.ocfs.state.ny.us/main/fostercare/
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| Posted 6/28/06 12:44 PM |
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limomof1
LIF Infant
Member since 6/06 124 total posts
Name:
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Re: Foster care/ Adoption
I have tried calling that agency in Ny which patched me through to social services in my area. I also tried my local agency here but they say no child under five is available for fostering.
I am trying Catholic Charities, but am waiting for a call back, I am not sure if i can go with them, if anybody has any other way of adoptiong, or any other agencies they used or know of somebody that used one please let me know.
Most attorney's I called dont find the child for me, and the money has to go first, though they will help me with setting things up, I have to find the child.
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| Posted 6/28/06 3:07 PM |
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michele31
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3372 total posts
Name:
Michele
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Re: Foster care/ Adoption
What type of child are you looing to adopt? Under 5 only? What about race or gender?
Attorney adoption is $$$ and typically domestic only which can be a lenghtly process- but it does work. There are MANY agencies that can help you adopt internationally. I know my agency is doing a telecall about Russian adoption. let me know if you want the details.
Here is another link that I found for you
ABC News
Another great site
Support Resources and Events
Orientation Sessions
Adoption and Foster Care orientations happen throughout the City and in nearby communities. To learn more and to find an orientation session in your neighborhood please contact us at (212) 676-WISH.
Sign up for the Adoption and Foster Care Email Newsletter
Find useful books and links about adoption and foster care
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| Posted 6/28/06 3:18 PM |
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limomof1
LIF Infant
Member since 6/06 124 total posts
Name:
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Re: Foster care/ Adoption
If i can find out more info on Russia that would be great. The only problem i saw in other agencies for Russia was the time I had to go down to Russia to adopt.
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| Posted 6/28/06 3:49 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: Foster care/ Adoption
My Mom did foster care for years but she never or we never had any children under 10 or 11 offered.
The foster children they had under age 5 were usually a 2 week- month foster experience due to a court issue etc.
From what I know based on our experience its not likely to foster a young child...but I woudlnt stop trying either if its something you want to do.
There are a lot more foster opportunities for children ( younger) with disabilities etc.
My aunt fostered a child 10 yrs ago from 3 months till 6 years old...they were desperate for foster families then it seemed and she was actually paid a lot of money montly through the county to do it ( about $900 monthly) so she was able to give this child everything it needed, but then the parents came back into her life.
Good luck to you!
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| Posted 6/28/06 8:33 PM |
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michele31
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3372 total posts
Name:
Michele
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Re: Foster care/ Adoption
Russia requires you to travel. Tell me what type of child/race/gender you are looking for. I know a lot about most of the international programs. I can try to match you up with one.
http://www.whfc.org/adoption/russia/default.htm
This is all about the Russia program. You will have to go to Russia twice. Fran has done it so she can discuss it with you.
If you are looking for a white boy/girl then Russia is probably your best bet.
With foster care- you can always get certified and put down that you only want a young baby/child. But you have to remember that many of those children are NOT up for adoption at that point. Are you okay with truly fostering for 2-3 months and then having the child go back to his/her family? I think we need more wonderful foster parents so you should not give up on that route just yet. But if you are truly looking to adopt then you might just need to adopt vs. foster.
Have you called Little Flower in Riverhead? They might be able to help you understand it a lot more. They might be very willing to talk with you at length.
http://www.littleflowerny.org/FosterCareAndAdoption.html
Don't give up!! If you want to be a mommy, we will figure out a way to help you become one
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| Posted 6/28/06 10:23 PM |
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limomof1
LIF Infant
Member since 6/06 124 total posts
Name:
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Re: Foster care/ Adoption
I would like to do one foster care child, and eventually one adoption. We would adopt a boy or girl, infant- 10 months, caucasion but open to other races,
Little flower was who i was going to go through, but when talking to them the other day they said they have no young babies coming in, it could be 6-10 months after being certified which takes a few months.
They said its rare, they have tennagers basically. I have a five year old, so leaving for russia for a few weeks may be a hard thing to do, and since we dont have the money right know adoption domestically or international would be expensive.
China would have been nice, but i am under 30. Russia is an option but the timeframe could be a problem, unless i was able to get a relative to help, but then the money is still a concern.
Message edited 6/28/2006 11:48:18 PM.
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| Posted 6/28/06 11:43 PM |
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michele31
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3372 total posts
Name:
Michele
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Re: Foster care/ Adoption
I would worry about the $ after deciding what program you are looking for. Fostering an infant is not easy as there are not as many..most times a grandparent or relative would take the infant if needed.
You can still get certified..because that can't hurt and you could get on a list.
If you are open to other races then I highly suggest you start to look at all of the international programs.
Why not call my agency and ask for a meeting to go over all of the programs and understand if one works for you and your husband? You can explain that you are under 30 and they can tell you which programs you qualify for.
My sister and my mom are going to stay with Molly while we are in Ethiopia. Can your parents or a sibling stay with your daughter if you went to Russia. You can also look at Guatemala which only requires (1) 3-day trip and that is a 2 hour plane ride. Not long at all. The adoption is a bit more $, but the travel requirements are easy to met.
Some programs allow your child to be escorted home- Korea and Ethiopia I know have this has an option. If you are open to China maybe look into Korea and have your baby brought home for you. THat would take away the travel worry. Also, Ethiopia and Korea tend to have younger babies than many of the other programs.
But regardless don't let all of these be walls in your way, you just need to take each step and answers will come to you.
The money is not a lump sum payment so you can discuss all of the options with your husband and the program director.
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| Posted 6/29/06 11:19 AM |
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limomof1
LIF Infant
Member since 6/06 124 total posts
Name:
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Re: Foster care/ Adoption
Has Anybody went through Catholic Guardian, which i think is Catholic Charites for International adoptions, Specifically Russia?
I have gotten over the two weeks i would have to travel to russia, and willing to find a way we can aford adoption in Russia, as well as foster kids.
Message edited 7/6/2006 4:32:35 PM.
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| Posted 7/6/06 4:30 PM |
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FranM
And so it goes....
Member since 9/05 2217 total posts
Name:
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Re: Foster care/ Adoption
CC was on our final list of agencies. We did not find anything negative about them but in the end decided to go with a small local agency - Children of the World. I would be happy to talk to you about adopting from Russia. We brought our son home from Moscow in March of last year. Its absolutely the best thing we have ever done. FM me if you want to speak.
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| Posted 7/6/06 6:00 PM |
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