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itsbabytime
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 9644 total posts
Name:
Me
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Friend question - how do you deal
I have a major problem - can't keep my mouth shut! I have a few friends that I think are totally up in the clouds...they are so illogical and irrational in their decisions...but why can't i just keep my mouth shut and be the friend that smiles and nods??? Why do i have to be my preaching mommy self? How do you control yourself when it is just so obvious that the other person is cluelessly headed in the WRONG direction 
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Posted 7/5/06 12:30 PM  |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Friend question - how do you deal
If you realize that they're going to do what they're going to do with or without your advice, you let them make their own mistakes.
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| Posted 7/5/06 12:41 PM |
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Christine
2nd verse same as the 1st
Member since 5/05 15287 total posts
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Re: Friend question - how do you deal
Posted by itsbabytime
I have a major problem - can't keep my mouth shut! I have a few friends that I think are totally up in the clouds...they are so illogical and irrational in their decisions...but why can't i just keep my mouth shut and be the friend that smiles and nods??? Why do i have to be my preaching mommy self? How do you control yourself when it is just so obvious that the other person is cluelessly headed in the WRONG direction
People have to learn from themselves and things may sometimes work out differently then you think they will.
Maybe if you put yourself in their shoes - how would you feel if one of your friends were to keep telling you things you don't want to or maybe not need to hear?
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| Posted 7/5/06 12:44 PM |
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saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!
Member since 5/05 16555 total posts
Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...
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Re: Friend question - how do you deal
i know what you mean, i feel this way about my fbil. he is 21 and thinks his sh!t don't stink. but he's made mistakes and learned from them so i keep to myself
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| Posted 7/5/06 12:46 PM |
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mrsmck
Be a big girl!
Member since 5/05 4898 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: Friend question - how do you deal
Unfortunately, there is no way to be rational with an irrational person. It took me a while to realize this. Try to read A Guide to Rational Living by Albert Ellis.
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| Posted 7/5/06 1:13 PM |
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kms717
St Philomena Protect My Son
Member since 2/06 2747 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: Friend question - how do you deal
Part of being a friend is being about to voice your opinions and having your friend value them. I don't think you should keep your mouth shut if your friend is headed in the wrong direction. I think opening your mouth is the right thing to do. 
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| Posted 7/5/06 1:19 PM |
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juju
Welcome to the World!
Member since 5/05 6747 total posts
Name:
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Re: Friend question - how do you deal
I feel a lot of the times Friends just want to be heard and not really want advice. I use to add my two cents but I have learned from prior experiences to keep my mouth shut. People are going to do what they want to do and they will learn from their own experiences. And sometimes, it will take time for a person to realize the correct course of action. This happened to a friend of mine. 2 years later....but, she realized it on her own.
Message edited 7/5/2006 8:19:10 PM.
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| Posted 7/5/06 1:23 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Friend question - how do you deal
Posted by itsbabytime
I have a major problem - can't keep my mouth shut! I have a few friends that I think are totally up in the clouds...they are so illogical and irrational in their decisions...but why can't i just keep my mouth shut and be the friend that smiles and nods??? Why do i have to be my preaching mommy self? How do you control yourself when it is just so obvious that the other person is cluelessly headed in the WRONG direction
i tell them how i feel....
although i don't think i am preachy with my friends...
if they ask me what do i think....i tell them.
I had this one friend that just HAD to have drama in her life 24/7...
if it wasn't one thing it was another.....
after a while....that just grew tooo exhausting
i realized that she really wasn't talking to me for advice but just someone to tell her drama too...
But i still told her how i felt whether she liked it or not
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| Posted 7/5/06 6:27 PM |
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Tany
Becoming a different woman
Member since 5/05 24460 total posts
Name:
Tania
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Re: Friend question - how do you deal
you have to honest and tell them about your concerns, but ultimately it's their life and they choose what to do with it.
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| Posted 7/5/06 6:55 PM |
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MrsPorkChop
Twinning!!
Member since 5/05 9941 total posts
Name:
Missy
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Re: Friend question - how do you deal
im the same way but who am i to tell them how to live their life- especially what if i am wrong!
i gave advice to my friend who's ex bf invited her to go golfing together- i told her to go when she had doubts- long story short she drove out there and sat in 2 hours of traffic and he cancelled on her - i felt terrible for her and terrible for pushing her to go!!!
so no more advice giving for me
let them make their own mistakes....its hard...but its something you need to do
also think- who wants to receive unsolicited advice? not many people..and i HATE when i get advice that I did not ask for
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| Posted 7/5/06 7:45 PM |
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