Michi
My Love
Member since 5/05 31600 total posts
Name:
M
|
funny
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN
>
>1.NAMES
>
>If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will
>call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.
>
>If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer
>to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.
>
>
>2.EATING OUT
>
>When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in
>a $20 , even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have
>anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
>
>When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
>
>
>3.MONEY
>
>A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
>
>A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need, but it's on
>sale.
>
>
>4.BATHROOMS
>
>A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream,
>razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.
>
>The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.
>A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
>
>
>5.ARGUMENTS
>
>A woman has the last word in any argument.
>
>Anything a man says after that... is the beginning of a new
>argument.
>
>
>6.CATS
>
>Women love cats.
>
>Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick
>cats.
>
>
>7.FUTURE
>
>A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
>
>A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
>
>
>8.SUCCESS
>
>A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can
>spend.
>
>A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
>
>
>9.MARRIAGE
>
>A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
>
>A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.
>
>
>10.DRESSING UP
>
>A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the
>garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
>
>A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
>
>
>11.NATURAL
>
>Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
>
>Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
>
>
>12.OFFSPRING
>
>Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows
>about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite
>foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
>
>A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
>
>
>13.THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
>
>Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two
>people remembering the same thing.
|
