Gender for November baby

So we found out the gender last week- and its a BOY! Of course, we are so happy that the baby is HEALTHY, after having a mc earlier this year. But with the sex, I wanted a girl from the get-go, a girl is definitely more in my comfort zone (with a sister, neice, etc) plus I am a girly girl who loves dresses and long hair, etc. I was CONVINCED it was a girl. But since I found out it is a boy, people have been telling me that boys are loyal, protective, and that the mom- son bond is great. So I am adjusting to being on team blue. I am a teensy bit worried because I know NOTHING about sports, circumscion, and all things BOY! And I do hope that one day I'll have a girl to dress up and whatnot. But as for now, I am excited we are having a healthy baby- and a baby boy- and I am trying to picture myself with a baby boy. Did anyone else experience this, trying to picture yourself having a lo that was the opposite of what you'd expected?

Re: Gender for November baby

I was convinced from day 1 that I was having a girl...and I was right. But, the night before I was thinking constantly about having a boy and was talking myself into wanting one so that I wouldn't be dissapointed if the baby was a boy. I agree, the most important thing is a healthy baby. My husband, despite me talking about the baby being a girl from conception, was a bit dissapointed that it isn't a boy. He's big into sports and really wanted a boy to carry his father's name. He's getting used to the idea of a girl....and maybe we won't stop at 1 (who knows). I find it cute that all of his guy friends talk about loving their daughters and how amazing hugs from their little girls are.

Re: Gender for November baby

Congrats on your girl! There is definitely a special father/daughter bond that your hubby will get to enjoy- (my dad is a manly man sports type who wanted only boys- but now that he has 2 girls and 1 grandaughter, he wanted MINE to be another girl because he loves having little girls around.) I hear you on 'trying to talk yourself into it so you wouldnt be dissappointed'. I had definitely prepared myself for the results to go either way, even if I was pulling for a girl. I'll admit I was a little sad at first, just like your hubby was when he found out it was a girl, but it grows on you pretty fast. I think its just getting used to the 'idea' of it. And perhaps a fear of the unknown? But I know when I have this boy, I will fall head over heels in love with him and I'll learn everything on the fly. The way I'm trying to look at it now is that a GIRL would have been easy for me, but with a boy I have to broaden my horizons and learn more things- and thus develop more as both a person and as a mother. And if your hubby is really into sports, there's no reason your little girl can't play soccer or softball. I'm going to try to have my son go outside of the traditional male realms of sports (in addition to having him play sports if he wants to)- maybe taking up an instrument, or learning creative writing. Good luck with your little girl!

Re: Gender for November baby

Re: Gender for November baby

as a team green mommy, i can relate. I'm so not a girly girl, and yet I keep wanting to have a little girl of my own.. my mom and I have a GREAT GREAT relationship.. and my dad and I have an awesome, fantabulous relationship as well, so I keep wanting a little chica. But then I can get all worried.. what if she's a princessy girl I wouldn't know what to do.. and if its boy, am I just assuming he'd would like all things sports.. what if he only wants to play the piano and violin.. I don't know diddly squat about that. So either way, I keep telling myself.. I need to grow as a person, to be the best mother to my child.. and be a conciously try to be a good person, so it come naturally to them. And like you said, all that matters, is our baby is healthy.. gender is just icing..

Message edited 7/7/2011 8:57:51 AM.

Re: Gender for November baby

I had no idea what I would do with a boy either but let me tell you, there really is no difference between the bond you have with a girl or a boy (for me anyway). The baby-mommy bond trumps everything

Re: Gender for November baby

When I was pg with DS, all I wanted was a girl. Same as you. Dress her up. Make her girly. I like being girly. Plus, my inlaws have no granddaughters (5 grandsons) and my SIL and my FIL were upset that we were having a boy. My DH has 2 boys from a previous relationship. So, needless to say, I was disappointed. And felt profoundly guilty about this disappointment.

As soon as I held DS in my arms, I felt nothing but sheer joy that he was a boy! Everything about him was perfect, including his gender, and I love him in every way for it. He's the perfect combination of rough and tumble and affectionate and I just adore him. Boy clothes are not as fun, but dressing them up as little men in flannels and workboots is awesome. And you will see how much he adores you. He will always love you, be loyal and will be MUCH easier to deal with.

This time around we went for the sono and the tech said she ws 75% sure it was a boy. DH and I were disappointed for a weekend (we got our CVS results the following Monday) until we found out it was a girl! But now that I AM having a girl, I'm terrified! Everyone keeps telling me how much tougher they are to deal with! DS is a breeze!

But either way, you will absolutely, positively adore your son. You will see just how wonderful he will make you feel each and every day. And in the end, you won't care about his gender, you'll just love him for who he is, and wouldn't want it any other way!

Re: Gender for November baby

Yes, I sure did experience that. Just a quick family rundown, between my sister, me and all my first cousins there are:
12 /1
Of all of OUR children there are:
20 /7
So, to say that we are a girl family is an understatement!

When I was pregnant with #1 (and I was Team three times), I was hoping for a girl. Well, it was a girl! I got pregnant less than a year later...another girl! I tell you, I thought I hit the jackpot of life! (Even though my 2nd DD currently sports a large orange dinosaur tattoo on her forearm and sleeps on Lightening McQueen sheets!) Last year I was pregnant for the third time. Now, it's not like I DIDN'T want a boy; in fact, I thought it must be pretty cool to have a son. But, the thought absolutely had me panic-stricken...trucks, dinosaurs, dirt, PENISES???! The morning of my c-section, I looked over at my DH and with tears in my eyes I said, "How could I ever be worried about a boy when I see the wonderful man you are..." An hour later we heard the words, "It's a BOYYYYY!"

Now, I'm not going to lie, I was not overcome with joy over a son at that moment...I was still pretty panic-stricken for a couple of months. My status-quo was blown to bits!

Now? Eight months down the line...forget it! This little one is the light of our lives! I love the tiny trucks and dinosaur clothes. The penis? Eh, that I could do without. Oh, but you know what? The circumcision is so NOT a big deal...looks gross for two days and that's it!

Good luck!! You're going to do great!

Re: Gender for November baby

Re: Gender for November baby

Before I was pregnant I ALWAYS Thought having a baby boy would be great! Loved little boys, little boy cloths, little boy toys! Then something odd happened, and right around the time we were TTC , before I even knew I was pregnant I was CONVINCED that I was having a girl.. At week 17, I am still convinced its a girl. Its not even that I want a girl over a boy, but now that I think its a girl, I feel like I will be completely shocked with a boy and not know what to do.. as I always gravitate now toward little girl clothes, and frniture etc..

Its all about mindset I guess.

Juidging from my nieces and nephews I can certainly say, little boys are just the sweetest things ever!!!!!Congratulations!

Re: Gender for November baby

I'm definitely getting past 'getting used to it' and onto being excited for it! I held my friend's 3 month old son over the weekend and can actually 'picture' myself with a little guy. And I'm digging that this might be an awesome chance to unleash my inner tomboy- maybe playing in the dirt is just what this girly girl NEEDS! =) I bought him his first clothing- two little ADORABLE hats, one of those little preppy golf caps and a surfer baseball cap. And, of course, I ultimately realize that regardless of the gender, its my BABY, and I will ADORE him or her no matter what! Plus, last night, hubby talked to my tummy for the first time- he kept saying "Hey, buddy, ...." and it was so cute I started to bawl! Picturing him with our little son makes me get chills!

MrsKelly, thank you! I had other reasons too- but "getting used of the idea" was certainly one of them!

Buttercup, way too be team green- I WISH I had your patience. If it IS a girl, and she is super-feminine you'll learn on the fly, no worries!

Headoverheels, thats precisely what I initially thought "What on EARTH would I do with a boy?" But now I am realizing what I CAN do with a boy- take him exploring or build forts, make a treehouse, teach him to pee in the snow etc lol

Eireann
"But, the thought absolutely had me panic-stricken...trucks, dinosaurs, dirt, PENISES???!"
LOL, I too was scared of penises! I must have asked every mom of a boy I know "Soooooo... whats up with this circumscion thing....?" Thanks for your input, so happy it turned out well for you, as I am sure it will for me!

Budjeg11
It IS all about mindset. I think we just gravitate towards girl clothes and furniture because we have been nurtured by society to love all things feminine? Good luck either way- you're instincts might be dead on- or you might be QUITE surprised as I was!

Re: Gender for November baby

Please don't quote...

Wow... I had NO idea what this post was really about until I finally opened it. I wish I had looked sooner because I'm in the SAME boat as you. And I feel guilty as ANYTHING for having these feelings of almost "disappointment" that it's a boy instead of a girl. I hate even WRITING that down because I feel terrible "wishing" it was a girl when I have my little boy growing inside.

I finally admitted my "disappointment" to my DH after a week of feeling almost depressed (being alone on bed rest doesn't help). I told him I feel like a hypocrite because I told him he couldn't be disappointed if it was a girl... and here I am feeling that way for a boy. I'm so surprised by these feelings. DH was soooo good... telling me it's normal to feel that way. It doesn't mean I don't love him - it's just not what I was looking forward to, as far as shopping for a girl, decorating, dressing, etc. And he's right. Everyone tells me how AMAZING boys are... and I know I will feel that way once he's in my arms. But I look at all these girly things and just feel down that that's not what I can do. They always say that while moms wish for girls, they bond with their sons - and vice versa for dads with girls! ETA: I'm also scared I'll never get a boy because we currently have now FIVE boys in our family - and no girls! I wanted a son eventually for my DH to carry on his family name and have a boy for himself, but I'm just scared I'll never have a little girl.

I just thank you for posting this because I felt guilty and alone in my feelings and I feel totally vulnerable to being judged because of them. I judge myself! My BF has a little boy and is more in love with him each and every day. I know that will happen in my case. I almost wish I waited to find out what we were having until the day of delivery so I wouldn't have time for this "gender disappointment" issue. All I want is a healthy baby, which is why I've been so down and ticked off at myself for letting these feelings of "disappointment" creep in. I know it will all change the day the baby is born! I know that I will not be able to believe that I ever had these feelings when I have DS in my arms! And you, too!

Message edited 7/8/2011 3:16:30 PM.

Re: Gender for November baby

Posted by LaurenExp

When I was pg with DS, all I wanted was a girl. Same as you. Dress her up. Make her girly. I like being girly. Plus, my inlaws have no granddaughters (5 grandsons) and my SIL and my FIL were upset that we were having a boy. My DH has 2 boys from a previous relationship. So, needless to say, I was disappointed. And felt profoundly guilty about this disappointment.

As soon as I held DS in my arms, I felt nothing but sheer joy that he was a boy! Everything about him was perfect, including his gender, and I love him in every way for it. He's the perfect combination of rough and tumble and affectionate and I just adore him. Boy clothes are not as fun, but dressing them up as little men in flannels and workboots is awesome. And you will see how much he adores you. He will always love you, be loyal and will be MUCH easier to deal with.

This time around we went for the sono and the tech said she ws 75% sure it was a boy. DH and I were disappointed for a weekend (we got our CVS results the following Monday) until we found out it was a girl! But now that I AM having a girl, I'm terrified! Everyone keeps telling me how much tougher they are to deal with! DS is a breeze!

But either way, you will absolutely, positively adore your son. You will see just how wonderful he will make you feel each and every day. And in the end, you won't care about his gender, you'll just love him for who he is, and wouldn't want it any other way!