Girls, I feel dumb! Chicago related.....

I'm a little embarrassed (only because it has now been one freaking month) to say that even though DH has told his boss about 3 times he needs to know what the package would be, they are still putting him on hold. Now, the NYSE is in the middle of massive layoffs, so his boss has been extraordinarily busy and DH doesn't want to ask everyday...but still. I feel horrible for him, because we can't live in limbo like this. As for me, I'm interested to pursue other career opportunities locally, so I need to know if I should even bother. How can we get a firm answer? DH swears that his boss only wants to hear "yes"--not more questions, which is ridiculous. It's just a matter of time before they move on and ask someone else. This is the wackiest thing ever--we went through all the emotions and scenarios...and we are STILL waiting? Now his boss is cramping my style!

Also: Thank you to all who have given me advice; I feel like I wasted your time.

Also, also! I will update this situation as soon as there is something definitive to share....I promise. But thanks for the FMs. I just may get to meet some of you yet!

Message edited 11/29/2006 2:07:58 PM.

Re: Girls, I feel dumb! Chicago related.....

I'm sorry Mama, I wish I had any advice.

I hope this means is not that important.

Re: Girls, I feel dumb! Chicago related.....

You have no reason to feel dumb! Keep your chin up hun!!

Re: Girls, I feel dumb! Chicago related.....

Posted by Aliasmom

I'm sorry Mama, I wish I had any advice.

I hope this means is not that important.

Re: Girls, I feel dumb! Chicago related.....

Posted by LRusso

Posted by Aliasmom

I'm sorry Mama, I wish I had any advice.

I hope this means is not that important.

I seriously think his boss is just shocked he didn't jump at the chance (which if he were single, he may have) and just really has no information ready. But he wanted us to have an answer in a week? Screw that crap.

Re: Girls, I feel dumb! Chicago related.....

Posted by LRusso

Posted by Aliasmom

I'm sorry Mama, I wish I had any advice.

I hope this means is not that important.

I seriously think his boss is just shocked he didn't jump at the chance (which if he were single, he may have) and just really has no information ready. But he wanted us to have an answer in a week? Screw that crap.

Re: Girls, I feel dumb! Chicago related.....

Posted by SuzyQ

Posted by LRusso

Posted by Aliasmom

I'm sorry Mama, I wish I had any advice.

I hope this means is not that important.

I seriously think his boss is just shocked he didn't jump at the chance (which if he were single, he may have) and just really has no information ready. But he wanted us to have an answer in a week? Screw that crap.

His boss sounds like an idiot. How can you two possibly make a decision without all of the details?!?!?!

Re: Girls, I feel dumb! Chicago related.....

is the boss married?

I am sure he is shocked he didn't say yes yet-

Re: Girls, I feel dumb! Chicago related.....

Re: Girls, I feel dumb! Chicago related.....

That's a MAN for ya.

Act now, THINK / QUESTION later!



ETA: I am talking about the boss here.

Message edited 11/29/2006 2:26:25 PM.

Re: Girls, I feel dumb! Chicago related.....

Oh man Lana...

I'd want to know about salary too. Especially because it's a new position...

This is tough...

I have no advice, just

Re: Girls, I feel dumb! Chicago related.....

yes, newly married.

do you think we should say yes? without knowing anything? only thing i know, is that they will buy us out of our house. my better judgment would never allow us to do this without knowing a salary and other things. my guess is that's it's what he makes now. if it were something outrageous, we'd know by now.


I am surprised he's married- but newly married could mean he just hasn't had anything come up- or he is the main bread winner- so it wouldn't matter to him if she wanted to go or not

well- personally if it was me at this point- I would be worried about losing the oppertunity to someone else

so I would tell my boss I wanted to speak to him about it- get the facts and say give me 24 hours to say yes or no

it sounds like you husband wants to go-

I wouldn't want to make a decesion will all the facts either- but I sure once he says yes- he could negotiate

I am sure the fact that they are making layoffs- only has your DH more on edge and wanting to jump on this more- even if he isn't in danger of being laid off- it changes the vibe in the offiice

Re: Girls, I feel dumb! Chicago related.....

Beth, yep...you are basically thinking along DH's lines. He's not worried about being let go; he's fairly safe under his boss's wing and he did just get into some good MBA programs to get that going, which will lead to other opps. The sad thing is that the NYSE is changing, and DH is a new specialist trader and he loves it, so he's upset that the format is changing and thinks this is a good way to stay in the game. BUT, we agreed we would only do it if the money were right. So.... ???

Message edited 11/29/2006 2:33:35 PM.

Re: Girls, I feel dumb! Chicago related.....

Beth, yep...you are basically thinking along DH's lines. He's not worries about being let go; he's fairly safe under his boss's wing and he did just get into some good MBA programs to get that going, which will lead to other opps. The sad thing is that the NYSE is changing, and DH is a new specialist trader and he loves it, so he's upset that the format is changing and thinks this is a good way to stay in the game. BUT, we agreed we would only do it if the money were right. So.... ???


maybe he should approach it like this

Hi boss man

So I made a decesion about Chicago- I want to go but in order to make it work for us I need

$XXXX salary- he should get more b/c let's say you don't get a job right away- why should your lifestyle change

buy me out of the house

and anything else he wants

and that why the boss knows he wants the oppertunity and what it will take to get him there

that's what I would do at this point
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I let this slip thru my fingers and then watch some jerk off from the office take it and do well

Re: Girls, I feel dumb! Chicago related.....

Re: Girls, I feel dumb! Chicago related.....

here's a quick list of information you may want to get from them before he can make his decision:

- new title
- new salary/incentive plan, etc.
- is there a geographic differential for Chicago (meaning will they pay him less in Chi than in NY for a comparable position)
- what's the relo package? what, exactly, does "they'll buy us out of our house" mean? what assistance will they provide to help you move and find new housing? Will you get an allowance for things like closing costs? Then, compare these answers to the actual costs you anticipate.
- what assistance will they provide you in finding a new job?
- when does the new role take effect?
- when does DH need to start working in Chicago?

Re: Girls, I feel dumb! Chicago related.....

Danny? Is that you? LOL.

He's trying to get me to name a number that would make me say okay...but I want to know if I can bring my mom. Heh heh...I'm a baby!



sorry I am thinking like a guy today

I would say his current salary plus yours would be my starting point

I would expect to get his plus 1/2 of yours as an ending point

don't know about the Mom thing- but maybe you can buy a bunch of southwest tickets for her for christmas- I think they are pretty cheap!

Re: Girls, I feel dumb! Chicago related.....

Posted by Beth1210

I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I let this slip thru my fingers and then watch some jerk off from the office take it and do well

Re: Girls, I feel dumb! Chicago related.....

Posted by lilacwine

Posted by Beth1210

I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I let this slip thru my fingers and then watch some jerk off from the office take it and do well

That about sums it up. It sounds like a unique opportunity that won't come around again in a similar way anytime soon.

Re: Girls, I feel dumb! Chicago related.....

this is what DH believes, too...but on the other hand, he also believes we'd be losing a lot, personally. we said the $$$ would be the deciding factor.


I agree- it's alot to give up where you live

but don't just think about the immediate money- think of the oppertunity it could bring in 5 years

maybe you could be a SAHM or just freelace b/c he will be the boss

it would be easier for us to go b/c everyone else in my family ditched me already!

Re: Girls, I feel dumb! Chicago related.....

Hown about a friendly e-mail. Like:

Dear Boss man,

First OI'd like to say I'm extremely flattered by your offer of relo. (insert a bit more azz kissing if appropriate pertaining to the company, department, etc) My wife and i are seriously considering this but here is a list of uncertainties we would need answered before making such a momentous decision.
Question A\
Question B
etc

Re: Girls, I feel dumb! Chicago related.....

Re: Girls, I feel dumb! Chicago related.....

Re: Girls, I feel dumb! Chicago related.....

I think the boss is most likely waiting on you guys to make a firm decision. Perhaps you should try to come up with an answer? Just my guess...