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Pomegranate5
LIF Adult
Member since 2/11 4798 total posts
Name:
Pomegranate5
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Re: Going back to work and overwhelming sadness
I'm so sorry. I know every single one of those feelings very well. 
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Posted 1/7/13 3:58 PM  |
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Domino
Always My Miracle
Member since 9/05 9923 total posts
Name:
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Re: Going back to work and overwhelming sadness
First
It was never my intention to work F/T. i always assumed that once DS was older I would get a PT job and do all the things that were important to me. PTA, school mom, etc. It was not even 5 weeks after DS was born when I happened to look at "what was out there" on craigslist. I came across an ad for p/t literally five minutes from my house. On a lark, I sent my resume. They called me the next day. I went on the interview and basically asked for an obscene amount of money because I did not care if I got the job. I was very rigid about the hours and days I could work. The next day they called and said I had gotten the job. I was mad. I wasnt even off disability yet. I had spent 3 years trying to have DS and now I had to go back to work? I was annoyed that we needed the money and DH didnt make enough to keep his wife home with his son But I sucked it up. My mom agreed to watch DS on the three half days. While this job did not work out in the long run, I happened to "run into" another job too good to pass up as well. DS is a little over 3 and it does get better. The money that I am making is helping our household tremendously. We are on track to buy a house towards the end of the year.
But again, I was working PT. i do not know how well I would have fared working FT. Is there any possibility of this job turning into p/t? I know it is hard now but it helps to look at the big picture
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| Posted 1/7/13 4:25 PM |
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whoababy11
it's only forever
Member since 11/10 1598 total posts
Name:
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Re: Going back to work and overwhelming sadness
i could have written this post word for word myself this past august when i returned to work FT as a teacher after 14 months home. i am so sorry you are suffering so much and i can totally relate to how you feel. the beginning will be tough, no two ways about it. i cried and panicked and thought i would never get over it. but somehow i got through it, and i fly home every day after work to be with my DD. she is happy and fine and it all worked out and i am sure the same will happen for you.
good luck!!!! 
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| Posted 1/7/13 4:47 PM |
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StarsStripes
LIF Adult
Member since 12/12 1192 total posts
Name:
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Re: Going back to work and overwhelming sadness
You are NOT an ungrateful whiny brat! I have a great job that and make a great salary, but we need that salary to pay for our house. I pray EVERYDAY that I will win the lotto so I can be a SAHM. There is nothing in the world I want more.
Does it get easier once you get back into the swing of working, yes. Will the desire to be with your child be nagging at you all day, probably. You learn to get through it and enjoy the precious time you do have with you child. Remember, you are working to give your DC a better life, they will thank you someday for your sacrafice. Good luck, I know it isn't easy
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| Posted 1/7/13 8:09 PM |
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FlowerWife
Positive Vibrations...
Member since 1/08 8423 total posts
Name:
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Going back to work and overwhelming sadness
well im glad to know im not alone - but also sad to know that so many people feel this way too. it really is an awful feeling 
i really do feel like my actual day-to-day will get better once we have a routine, but i honestly do not believe these pains in my heart about leaving her will ever go away enough for me to truly and deeply care about my career like i did before. i will do what i have to do when i am there - but it'll be really hard to find that drive again.
Message edited 1/7/2013 10:21:18 PM.
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| Posted 1/7/13 10:20 PM |
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alisha
LIF Adult
Member since 3/07 1199 total posts
Name:
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Re: Going back to work and overwhelming sadness
Posted by FlowerWife
if anything ive learned that companies are harsh and all they care about is money, not about you or your family or people. i believe this one will be a little different but im just so much more cynical now about it.
I just wanted to address this.
It must be very hard to work in an environment that does not support working moms but not all companies are harsh! I work for a great company that values work-life balance. I have lots of time off, can work at home as needed, and make a six figure salary working an average of 45 hours a week. Go into it with an open mind- hopefully you will be pleasantly surprised!
Also, from the other side, I grew up with full time working parents and I don't feel any less loved. Honestly I don't even really remember my life before age 5! The desire to stay at home is tremendous (I feel it too all the time) but some of it is selfish. The thought that your child cannot thrive without you. If you find a good daycare situation, that is just not the case.
As a FTWM I understand how you feel 100%. Remember that nothing is permanent; you can always choose to stay at home again if you cannot adjust to working. But give it an honest shot and then re-evaluate.
Good luck!
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| Posted 1/8/13 4:53 AM |
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blustar214
So in love with my little girl
Member since 1/10 2471 total posts
Name:
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Re: Going back to work and overwhelming sadness
Aww, of course you are going to be anxious and unsure about going back after you have been home with DD and having so much fun.
As hard as it might be, just try and remember how excited you were for this job - the money will be nice and you will enjoy yourself. Just give yourself some time to get used to your new routine. Soon enough I'm sure you will be all settled in at your new job and I'm sure you will love it.
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| Posted 1/8/13 8:42 AM |
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Leb
LIF Adult
Member since 12/09 4166 total posts
Name:
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Re: Going back to work and overwhelming sadness
I just went back this week. The only piece of advice that has helped is I know in my mind if I can't do it I can just quit!
So give it a chance knowing you can quit if it doesn't work out and by the time you've given your new job a chance hopefully all will fall into place and you and baby will be happy!
Good luck!
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| Posted 1/8/13 8:45 AM |
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nov04libride
big brother <3
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Going back to work and overwhelming sadness
Posted by alisha
Posted by FlowerWife
if anything ive learned that companies are harsh and all they care about is money, not about you or your family or people. i believe this one will be a little different but im just so much more cynical now about it.
I just wanted to address this.
It must be very hard to work in an environment that does not support working moms but not all companies are harsh! I work for a great company that values work-life balance. I have lots of time off, can work at home as needed, and make a six figure salary working an average of 45 hours a week. Go into it with an open mind- hopefully you will be pleasantly surprised!
Also, from the other side, I grew up with full time working parents and I don't feel any less loved. Honestly I don't even really remember my life before age 5! The desire to stay at home is tremendous (I feel it too all the time) but some of it is selfish. The thought that your child cannot thrive without you. If you find a good daycare situation, that is just not the case.
As a FTWM I understand how you feel 100%. Remember that nothing is permanent; you can always choose to stay at home again if you cannot adjust to working. But give it an honest shot and then re-evaluate.
Good luck!
Ummm Alisha, can I have your job? lol
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| Posted 1/8/13 9:58 AM |
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Ann456
LIF Infant
Member since 8/11 309 total posts
Name:
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Re: Going back to work and overwhelming sadness
If you feel PPD creeping back in you need to get some kind of professional mental help. You are saying some pretty serious stuff here. If you are feeling this depressed it will probably affect your job then you will be out of work and not making the money you say you desperately need. I hope you find peace.
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| Posted 1/8/13 10:06 AM |
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