Going back to work full-time

I will be going back to work next month full-time, after being part-time for the last year. I am devastated at the idea of leaving my son.

I am so depressed and I am becoming resentful at my husband for not letting me look for another job that would be part-time. He complains about all of the money that we would lose and of all of the current benefits that I have with my job. Yes, I know that the economy is not stable and with a higher income we can provide more for our son, but I also know that we can survive with me getting another job, even one that would pay less.

What do you think? I would appreciate any advice, help, or even compassion that you can offer. My happiness lies in being with my son. And now I feel like my heart is being ripped out of my chest.

Re: Going back to work full-time

All I can offer are

I go back to work full time in 2 weeks and my heart feels exactly the same way.

Message edited 1/7/2010 10:19:44 AM.

Re: Going back to work full-time

You need to do whats right for you, DH AND DC. Is there any option of working from home? Maybe even going into work part time and the rest from home? I know this is seldom possible, but can't hurt to ask. But really, if you are that miserable, its going to carry over into every aspect of your home life, including your marriage. You have to find a way to make it work for all of you. I know the idea of going back to work full time is scary, and the only thing I can say is this : if the work at home thing isnt possible, give it a try and see how it goes. Maybe you can look into mommy and me classes or set aside an hour or two on the weekend for just you and DC so that you still have that special time together, even though its not exactly how you want it. I hope it all works out for you!

Re: Going back to work full-time

Thanks for all of your support. Being a mommy is hard enough, without having to leave your child to go provide for the home.

Unfortunately, in my line of business, there is no option of working from home.

I will try my best even though my heart is aching. My prayers are with the rest of you as well.

Re: Going back to work full-time

I"m going back to work full time next week. I set myself up so that for most of the time - DS will be close to where I work. I live an hour from my job and I want to spend as much time as possible with him. I will try to nurse him during lunch breaks, and I will be there to get him at 5 ish. That means he is with someone else 4 hours - then I see him for lunch - then another 4 hours. To me that is manageble. I also think that day care will actually be great for him. I find that he is actually bored at home, even at 4 months... he is fascinated by everything when we are out. He loves people - and action. There are only so many mommy and me activities I can take him to. When we are home, he gets antsy - and he cries more. I actually can't wait for him to start playing and interacting with other babies.

I will pretty much be working for day care, especially when we have another baby. But I see it as positive for me and DS - I'll be a better mom if I have my own career, and if he has time at day care.

HTH!!!

Re: Going back to work full-time

i'm sorry....
no advice really, just my experience,
i worked p/t last year and knew i would have to go back f/t this year. when the time came to start again i was miserable. i had been home for 15 months and could not imagine leaving my DD! since my DH lost his job last year i knew i had NO choice. i'll be honest-the first few weeks were an awful adjustment for both DD and i. but then something happened. first, DD adjusted beautifully to daycare and i truly believe i hit the jackpot as far as my daycare is concerned. they are amazing. i cannot believe how much she has learned, how more outgoing she is, and how she is so much more flexible! this was not an outgoing flexible kid to begin with. as for me, i slowly adjusted too-and remembered why i do what i do for a living. i love my job and i appreciate that i am good at it, and then can go home and be a good mom to my DD. i now know that i am supposed to be working f/t.
i know that this is just my experience and not everyone else feels this way. i also work down the road and only until 2:30 and have summers off-so that makes it a ton easier to have to work.
whatever happens, good luck to you. you just never know how things will turn out-even if you have to do the thing you don't want to do.

Re: Going back to work full-time

What about flex hours? I am working f/t, but am only working 4 days a week, 10 hours each day (instead of 5 x 8 hour days). It makes it so much better to have that extra day off. I am off Wednesdays so it really breaks up the week. I don't have to work more than 2 days at a time.

Re: Going back to work full-time

Re: Going back to work full-time

I wish that I could have more of a flexible working schedule, but its just not possible. My job already was as flexible as they are willing to be. I have a 2 hour commute to work also, which is not only time consuming but stressful.

I have already been depressed since going back to work part-time. I have gained at least 10 pounds of overeating to console myself. So I know going back full-time will only be worse for me. I don't cry every day that I have to work, but I am depressed.

I also do not have a supportive husband, so this also complicates matters. This whole situation has also lead me to the decision that I do NOT want any more babies until I can stay home.

I really appreciate reading your experiences and advice.
Good luck to everyone joining me in returning to work full-time. They say it gets easier, but in my case it has not.